iPod Love

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

"the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book
Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage
(Available at Amazon.com) .

When the iPod came on the market several years ago, we were one of the first “kids” on the block to own one. Since we have been Mac users since the 80’s, buying one of these babies was a natural thing for us to do. And since both of us love music and both have very eclectic music tastes, the thought of downloading a billion songs gave us chills up and down our respective spines! To date, we have about 9000 songs on our iPods. Not quite a billion but we are working on it!

Now, you are asking yourself, what does the iPod have to do with love and marriage? Well, it goes like this. Remember our constant refrain regarding successful loving relationships – “Love is simple to understand. The problem is people won’t do the simple things required to make love work.” The iPod is a good example.

We walk a lot and we always take our Wonder Dog, Jake, with us. The many miles we spend walking around our lovely hometown of St. Louis has allowed us to solve most of the problems in the universe! If we could walk more there would be world peace, everybody would have a job, there would be no empty stomachs, and everybody would love each other. Talking and walking is fun and probably has as much to do with our own successful 41-year marriage as anything we do. And our creativity begins to explode on those walks. Everything seems possible. Every problem seems solvable.

Here is where the iPod comes in.

When we first got our iPods we started listening to them as we walked. Oh, sure, the exercise was still good and the music was beautiful. The fresh air still smelled the same. But guess what happened – we stopped talking when we walked. It didn’t take long for us to realize how much we were missing on our walks. Our creativity began to wane, and for the first time in many years, we begin to feel a little tension in our relationship.

Since both of us have worked for a combined 90+ years, we needed those walks together to problem solve and to do the creative thinking required for our book, our research, and our other writings. Those walks were important quality time together. They were so important to our mental health as well. Now, we were messing up all the good things because we were listening to our iPods when we were together instead of to each other.

We also began to notice other couples (lovers, friends) wearing their iPods as they walked with each other. And they weren’t talking, just like we weren’t! Something had to be done and we did it – no more walking with each other while listening to our iPods. No more sitting together in the family room listening to our iPods. No more listening to our iPods when were together except when we were on a plane flying somewhere. Since the normal noise on a plane makes it hard to talk anyway, the iPod shuts out the bad noise and replaces it with beautiful music.

Don’t get us wrong – we love our iPods. We can’t imagine being without them. But like most things in life, there is a time and place for everything. The time you spend together is precious. Walking and talking is one of the best things couples can do for their relationship. Leave the iPod at home when you spend those moments. Save the iPod for the times you are alone or on a noisy plane. Your relationship and your love will thank you for it.

Those Golden Anniversaries we write about are often achieved as a result of lots of walking and talking! Maybe we will see you on one of those walks. Without the iPods of course!

Author's Bio: 

Now you can order the Doctors' new book entitled , Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage at Amazon.com. With 25 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 41-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories.

Get started with “the marriage doctors” by taking their Marriage Quiz or asking them a question at Ask The Marriage Doctors or downloading their FREE eBook at Salad Recipes For Love and Health.

During their distinguished careers the Doctors have received some 60 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 200 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1000 speeches, workshops and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC.

Additional Resources covering Spiritual Growth can be found at:

Website Directory for Love
Articles on Love
Products for Love
Discussion Board
Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, the Official Guides To Love