One way of looking at someone’s development would be to say that at the beginning of their life, they only had a feminine aspect, and, as time passed, their masculine aspect was built on top of it. They were then not born with both aspects and this will be the case regardless of whether they are a man or a woman.

Furthermore, what this also illustrates is that both a man and a woman have a feminine and masculine aspect. No man on this planet is only made up of the masculine and no woman on this planet is only made up of the feminine.

The Foundations

By being totally in their feminine at the beginning of their life, it would have meant that they were very receptive to what was going on around them. Additionally, they would have been completely dependent on others as they wouldn’t have been able to do anything for themselves.

Their need to receive would have been immense, with them being hungry for love, affection, attention, acceptance and other nutrients. However, through receiving what they needed to be able to grow and develop, they would have gradually grown out of this stage.

The Other Part

If their mother was essential when it came to developing their inner feminine, their father would have been essential when it came to developing their inner masculine. Their physical and emotional self would have no longer been the same as time passed.

Instead of being stuck on their back and unable to go anywhere or being stuck in a cot and unable to walk around, they would have had far more freedom. Their masculine aspect would have been developing nicely.

Two Options

Fast forward a number of years and they will now have the ability to just be and to do. As a result of this, they will have the ability to surrender, recharge and allow themselves to receive and they will have the ability to take action, to go after what they desire and to give.

In other words, they won’t just be a human be-ing in name only; they will actually be able to be like one. This will stop their life from being one big struggle and, ultimately, working themselves to death.

A Different Experience

This is an experience that some people had, yet for others, this is not something that would have taken place. Consequently, this would have stopped them from being able to develop properly and to have a harmonious relationship with both of these aspects.

So, at the beginning of their life, they would have been in their feminine, but this wouldn’t have been a stage of their life when they received what they needed. Thanks to this, they would have been greatly traumatised at this stage of their life.

A Brutal Time

The trouble is that as they were in their feminine and thus, were powerless and totally dependent, they would have been defenceless. They had no way of protecting themselves and they couldn’t leave either.

Their only option was to emotionally shut down and to disconnect from themselves. This wouldn’t have stopped what was going on but it would have stopped them from being aware of it and assured their survival.

The Rejection

As to why they were traumatised, there is the chance that they were often neglected and when they were given attention, it may have been missattuned care. Now, shutting down and being in the survival response known as the freeze response would have protected them, but it wouldn’t have allowed them to receive the nutrients that they desperately needed.

What this will show is that as they were so overwhelmed, they didn’t feel safe enough to be in their feminine. Being open, receptive, vulnerable and feeling would have been seen as too much of a risk.

The Message

Quite simply, what their early experience would have taught them is that the world isn’t safe and neither are their fellow human beings. Being in a closed up, shut down state would have stopped them from being able to receive what they needed, but what they needed wasn’t provided anyway.

To adapt to what was going on, their masculine aspect would have had to overcompensate. Many, many years will have passed, but through not having a healthy relationship with their feminine aspect, it can be more or less impossible for them to simply be.

A Threat

Their whole life can revolve around do-ing and this can mean that that they are used to struggling. For their life to flow, they will need to be able to open up, surrender and be receptive.

This is not to say that they won’t need to do anything; no, what it means is that they won’t need to force everything and to live an exhausting existence. For this to happen, they will need to embrace their inner feminine.

A Process

Naturally, this is not going to happen overnight as a big part of them will be in a defensive position. This will be seen as the only for them to maintain who they are and to survive.

They won’t have been in a warzone but their whole system will have adapted to an environment that was very similar. Their brain and nervous system will have adapted to an unfriendly environment, not an environment filled with love and peace.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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