There are people that believe that they have control over their life and then there are people that don’t. Due to this, these people are likely to have two very different experiences on this earth.

When it comes to the people that fit into the first category, it could be said that they are more likely to lead a fulfilling life. Thanks to the outlook that they have, they won’t see themselves as powerless.

A Choice

So when something is not going as someone wants it to go and they fit into the first category, they will most likely look into what they can do to change it. No matter what is going on, they are generally going to believe that they can do something about it.

This can stop them from getting depressed and becoming passive. It won’t matter if they are unable find an answer straight away, as they will keep going until they find what they need to be able to move forward.


However, if something is not going as they would like it to go and they can see that there is absolutely nothing that they can do, they might just let it go. They are not going to be interested in feeling weak.

Having this ability will allow them to focus on the things that they do have control over, which will stop them from wasting their precious time and energy. Naturally, if they were to become consumed by things that they had no control over, they might soon start to feel weak.

In Control of Their Destiny

Being this way is then going to prevent them from developing a victim mentality; they won’t have time to be a victim. They will know that they do have an effect on their life, with this being the reason why they are not powerless.

What they may believe is that they are here to create a life that matches up with who they are, not to go along with what someone else has created. Most of the people in their life could also have the same outlook.

Another Benefit

The belief that they have in their ability to fulfil their goals is likely to have positive effect on their mental and emotional health. They may find that they are used to experiencing empowering thoughts and feelings.

This will largely come down to the fact that they won’t be used to being flooded with disempowering thoughts and feelings, along with their ability to achieve their goals. Once they have achieved something, it will fill them with empowering feelings and reaffirm what they believe about their ability to shape their life.

No choice

When it comes to the people that fit into the second category, it could be said that they are less like likely to lead a fulfilling life. Because of the outlook that they have, they will probably see themselves as powerless.

So when something doesn’t go as someone wants it to go and they fit into the second category, they might not do anything. What has taken place could be seen as further evidence that they have no control over their life.

A Low Place

After they have experienced a setback, they could end up being overwhelmed by disempowering thoughts and feelings. It could take them a little while to get back on their feet and even when they do rise up again, they might not see the point in doing anything.

It might seem as though something or something out there is doing absolutely everything to keep them down. One will most likely see themselves as a victim, which means that they will be used to seeing other people as perpetrators.

A Challenge

As they feel powerless and believe that they have very little, if any, control over their life, it is going to be perfectly normal for them to feel low. Being on this planet is not going to be a very pleasurable experience.

If one was to look back on their life, they may find that it has been this way for as long as they can remember. Consequently, it might be hard for them to imagine what it would be like to experience life in a different way.

A Deeper Look

Nonetheless, regardless of how long they have experienced life in this way for, it doesn’t mean that it has to stay this way forever. There is likely to be a reason why they believe that they have no control over their life.

What might have caused them to develop this outlook is what took place during the beginning of their life. Perhaps this was a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected.

A Key Time

This would have meant that their developmental needs were not met on a consistent basis, if at all. What took place would have caused them to feel powerless, helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed, among other things.

Experiencing so much upheaval throughout this time and having absolutely no control over what was going on would have set them up to develop a very disempowering outlook. The experiences that they had as a child would then have come to define how they saw themselves.

A False Belief

This stage of their life would have been a time when they had no control over their life, but that doesn’t mean that this is the truth now that they are an adult. Now that they are an adult, they do have control over their life.

As a powerless child, their caregiver/s would have been in complete control of their life. Fortunately, now that one is an adult, they are the ones who have control over their life.


However, in order for one to realise that they do have control over their life, they will most likely need to work through their inner wounds. This can be a time when they will need to change their beliefs, work through emotional pain and heal trauma.

The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, one hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.