Nobody had to tell you. Your intuition has never let you down although in this instance you wish it had.

There were just too many things that didn't add up. Your spouse started taking better care of themselves. That is something that you had been urging them to do for years. So why now? Then there was the working late excuse. It was not frequent but it seemed to be connected with them always finding a justification to leave the house.

You are not a detective and you hate acting like one but little by little you gathered the evidence. After a while you turned things over to a real detective. Their investigation confirmed your suspicions and once again proved your intuition was correct. Your spouse has been carrying on an extramarital affair.

There is no scale to measure the amount of anger and hurt you feel. You have not been the perfect spouse but it was not through of lack of effort. None of us is perfect and you did your best to make the marriage work. Obviously they did not return the favor.

So what now? Confront them with the evidence and file for divorce? It makes sense. They betrayed the relationship so it is best to move on.

Not so fast you tell yourself. If they betrayed the relationship than you are going to take a wrecking ball to it. The point is to get as much revenge on your significant other as possible. As a matter of fact forget the divorce (for now anyway). There is no way you are going to let them off that easy. They are going to suffer. Only the difference is it's going to hurt more and last for a longer period of time.

How do you go about it? A combination attack will do the trick. First you start dropping very subtle hints that you know exactly what they have been up to. No need to dwell on it. Just throw it out there and move on to something else.

Next refuse to accept their excuses. They have to leave the house to run an errand. You decide to go with them. Working late? No problem, you will just come down to their job and wait for them. Anything you can think of to crowd their space.

Now it's time to go nuclear. There is a certain person at a certain location who has shown more than a passing interest in you. You have kept them at bay long enough. Time to make their dream come true. No doubt what is good for the goose is much better for the gander.

All of this boils down to a serious plan which if you do it correctly will have the desired effect. But more than likely it won't. No matter how it is portrayed in countless movies and television shows, revenge rarely works as it is supposed to. In fact what they do not tell you is it usually has a devastating boomerang effect. In the process of trying to destroy your spouse for their wrongdoing more often than not you only wind up hurting yourself even more.

If you want to stay together and work through what has occurred that's okay. If you can't bring yourself to deal with it and decide to end the marriage that's fine also. But whatever option you choose leave as much of you intact as possible so you can move forward with your life. You may get the satisfaction of exacting your revenge but the cost to you mentally and emotionally is not worth the end result.

Author's Bio: 

For information on how to survive an extramarital affair watch this video at the Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell