My Husband Doesn't Act Like He's In Love With Me: My Husband Says He Loves Me But Doesn't Act Like It

After a certain time in the marriage, and this time can be years to just months; certain things might have happened to make you question if your husband truly loves you - so you want to learn how to know your husband loves you. This is very common - I lived this in my marriage myself. There are certain signs your spouse is still deeply in love with you, and some signs that the love is fading or has already faded. In this article I present the most important ones.

A good but often overlooked way to know if your husband loves you is to observe whether or not he still wants to spend time with you. Marriages pretty much "force" couples to be together for extended periods of time. If, apart from those times, your husband still wants to spend time with you, it means that he still enjoys your company. But if he is finding excuses to be somewhere else all the time, he might be growing tired of you. Of course, if this is the case wives' minds immediately start thinking about possible emotional affairs that their husbands might be hiding from them, but regardless of whether there are affairs or not; if your husband isn't spending time with you it means that things aren't going that well.

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There is another sign - another way on how to know if your husband loves you; and that is his attitude towards you. If he still truly loves you, he won't be trying to find things to accuse you for. He won't be nitpicking every little thing in order to blame you and try to make you feel guilty. If your husband truly loves you, like all loving people, he will be forgiving and tolerant towards your flaws or mistakes.

If, from those guidelines, you think your husband doesn't love you anymore, it is time to act. Saving a marriage, just like fighting a disease, is much easier if it's done early. You have to understand the signs and symptoms of a troubled marriage before the "terminal" symptoms occur. If you don't want to divorce and put an end to your family, you must act fast to save your marriage. Knowing if your husband loves you is a very important thing to help you decide what you should do - "wait and see" or truly try to do something to save your marriage?

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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Couples are heading towards divorce when they see problems in a marriage. Why do marriages fail? There are many reasons that can cause a marriage to fail. When both parties refuse to commit and make the relationship work, problems will appear. Most people imagine a successful and happy marriage is there when both parties truly love each other, but they often overlook to understand the rest of the components that make up a good marriage. Here are some reasons why marriages fail.

Take things for granted
Respect for each other is vitally important. If a spouse has the best interest for the other party, they will appreciate what the other party is doing for them. However, it is a common problem that many couples have the thinking "we are already so close, why bother so much?" and rarely consider how their actions and words can affect the husband or wife.

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Trust
Trust is very important in maintaining a happy marriage. Trust will include honesty in conversation and behaviour. Constant lying and infidelities can let your spouse lose trust and faith in you. It will eventually lead to many problems when there is no trust and this is one of the reasons why marriages fail.

Bad Communication
Do you always convey good and clear message to your spouse? If you don't, it is likely your marriage is having a tough fight all the time going through quarrels and arguing. Many marriages will fail because of the breakdown in communication.

Not spending enough quality time
When both of you are not spending enough quality time together, it is likely your sex life is not great too. If friends, work or activities are taking too much of your time away to be together with your husband your wife, the closeness and bond might drift apart.

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Most people think, if you want to improve your marriage you go to marriage counseling, and you go to divorce mediation if you want to get a divorce.

Ironically, most couples who see a marriage counselor end up in divorce.

The lack of basic understanding on the part of western psychology of what marriage is, makes the so-called "trained" marriage counselors rarely helpful. Western psychologists think of marriage as material and psychological; they have no insight into the spiritual foundation of marriage. In most cases all they actually do when they are "successful" is put off divorce until the children are a little older.

On the other hand, any good mediator will tell you those who seek divorce through mediation sometimes find they are better off actually staying together, and they do. You see the whole idea of mediation is to break down barriers of communication and sort things out in a way that works for everybody. So for those who are open minded, the process used by mediators becomes instructive and helps the couple learn better communication skills, which is a big part of a healthy marriage. A good mediator will never funnel a couple towards divorce. From their own experience they recognize most couples are merely stuck in old habits. In most cases the so-called problems in a marriage are like dark clouds of misunderstanding blocking the sunshine of goodwill and love.

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The Highest Priority of any Couple Considering Divorce should be to Do Everything they can to Save their Marriage

There are certain questions each person in a threatened marriage should ask themselves:

1. Have I been a good or even great spouse?
2. Have I been aware of the pain my spouse feels?
3. Do I see my spouse's point of view?
4. Are my expectations of my spouse fair? Could I live up to my own expectations?
5. Have I shown unconditional love and understanding?

In most cases the answers to the above questions are a sheepish "no." Our materialistic culture starts jamming into our minds the concept of fairness because in business, fairness is known to be the underlying doctrine of a good business deal. But in marriage the idea of fairness is lethal because it is against the doctrine of unconditional love.

If you wish to have one horrible marriage after another, all you need to do is blame your partner for everything that is wrong in your marriage. Contrariwise, if you wish to have an amazing marriage, learn how to love unconditionally. Be your spouse's very best friend even if they are not yours. When the Beatles sang, "The love you make is equal to the love you take," they were expressing a fundamental spiritual truth that is foundational for every happy marriage. Slow down your mind and step out of the way of your own fears and tensions. Always do what you should do, not just what you want to do.

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Constant quarrel, division, crisis and divorce will have been eradicated from homes or reduce to barest minimum if not totally eradicated if somebody is humble enough to say "I am sorry". There will be mistaken, misunderstanding, and offending in marriage which may quench love if the instrument of apology is not in use.

Apology does not involve defending yourself, not explaining and not justifying yourself, not passing the buck whenever there is mistake. It means sincere apologizing with a remorseful spirit, action and tones.
Its types are:

- Zero Apology: This is a kind of apology where one of the parties in the marriage refused to admit his or her mistakes not to talk of apologizing.

- Plastic Apology: This is when you apologies but your body languages does not, no remorse, no genuine repentance.

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- Round-about Apology. This involves apologizing but still knowingly went back into the same error, but quickly apologises again but still continues the action. This do make apology to be ineffective on the person you are apologizing to.

- Black Apology. This is when you apologise but still insists it is not your fault. It also involves counter accusation, something like "It is true I was rude to you, you made me do it, by your harsh criticism", though "I am sorry at least that is what you want to hear."

- Complete Apology: This involve being really sorry with soberness and sincerity. Apology should be quick, without defensiveness. It involves changing of countenance, tones, and moving closer to your spouse to say "I am sorry" and really mean it.

For peace and harmony to reign in families; complete apology must be in place. As a wife, don't claim right in that marriage, instead use the instrumentally complete apology and your marriage will be peaceful, your husband homely and romance-high.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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