My Husband Has No Time For Me - Husband Doesn't Want To Spend Time With Family

What does it really mean when a husband doesn't spend time with his wife? Does it signal the end of marriage? How serious is it? What can you do to turn this situation around? I will do my best to address these questions, so please read on...

Meaning #1: He doesn't understand the importance of spending time together with you.

When a husband doesn't spend time with his wife, one reason could be that he is totally unaware of how important spending time with his wife is - to sustain a happy marriage. No matter how much modern society has changed, nurturing a relationship is still largely a woman's job because men just aren't equipped with the skills of "how to have great relationships".

While building close relationships with others comes naturally to women, men tend to be at a loss. So don't assume your husband understands your need to spend quality time together. He might think it's more important that he work hard at his career to provide for the family. In fact, according to his standards, he may even think that he's spending enough time with you. If this is the case, your solution could be to ask him sweetly "Can we please go out for dinner together on Friday?" Give your husband specific instructions and see if he's willing to make time for you.

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Meaning #2: He's trying to sort things out by himself (by retreating to his "man-cave").

Sometimes, one just needs peace and quiet to think. Men like to solve problems by themselves because asking others for help can feel like a sign of weakness to them. So, if your husband is spending even less time with you than usual, it could be that he is worrying about something and needs time alone to sort things out.

Ask your husband if anything is bothering him and tell him that you are willing to listen. If he opens up, please keep very quiet and only listen. Don't give advice. Don't add in comments. Just keep your mouth shut and listen. When he stops, say "Tell me more" and be silent. Don't try to solve his problems for him unless he asks you to. Always ask for his permission before you give advice.

But what if he doesn't open up and share? Then leave him alone and when he comes to you, give him a big smile and tell him you've missed him. If this still doesn't work, try writing him a letter to tell him how you feel.

Meaning #3: You need to focus on bringing fun back into your relationship.

The best way to encourage your husband to spend more time with you is to make interactions with you fun. Don't just stick to your boring old routine; don't pile all your family issues on him the minute you see him. Focus on always doing something fun and exciting first! Help him to associate pleasure with your company.

I know it's hard to cheer up and be light and fun when you're feeling stressed about your marriage. However, dwelling on things and being depressed and angry about it won't serve your goal of attracting your husband to spend more time with you.

Too often, we get caught up with the responsibilities and mundane tasks of married life, that we don't give ourselves enough time to have fun. Smile more; laugh more; become more like the charming, fun woman your husband married and you just might succeed at kissing the worries of "husband doesn't spend time with wife" goodbye!

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Many times when faced with such a crisis like a potential failing marriage or impending divorce, we tend to procrastinate getting done what needs to be done. One of the main reasons is due to the fact that it's very hard to take on such an emotionally draining situation such as this by ourselves and not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel surely doesn't help. But, it's extremely important to remain focused, take a deep breathe and understand that your marriage is at risk of ending if you don't start doing something about it right now.

Time is not a commodity that you have available to waste. Every second you continue to believe that this is all some sort of head game or that things will fizzle out over the next few weeks is time wasted that you could have done something positive to impact your marriage.

Now I'm not trying to alarm you or instill a sense of panic in you. I'm simply trying to light some fire under you so to speak. To recognize what's going on around you and what's at stake. You don't want to look back when it's too late and then wonder what you could have done differently to save your marriage. You need to step up to the plate now. Stop believing that your old tricks and methods to win back over your spouse will work this time. Because, more than likely they won't. I can say this with confidence, because when a marriage reaches this point, more than likely your spouse has grown more than tired of everything you've done before to make things right.

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The point is, something has to change and it has to change quick. But, where do you start? How do you know what it is exactly that has your spouse ready and maybe even fully committed to ending the marriage? I'm sure you have some pretty good ideas, and in fact your spouse may have even laid it out to you in plain English. But is that really the problem? And, if it isn't, do you have the time or the emotional strength to get to the bottom of what's really wrong in the marriage?

This is why it's so important to have a point of reference. Some outside perspective so to speak. Something or someone that can explain to you why marriages fail and or what needs to be done to save it. Do you know anyone or anything that can do this for you? It's common for most of us to seek out these answers from friends and family, but most of the time the answers they will give you aren't exactly honest, due to the fact that they're trying to spare your feelings or prevent you from any more grief at this point. Which is completely understandable. But this doesn't do you any good.

Instead, take this time that you do have to learn what it takes to save a failing marriage from someone who does it regularly. Head their advice, follow their plan and use their knowledge of why marriages fail and their recipe for successful marriages to your advantage. Something you can use to compare to your marriage so you can better understand what you need to do to save it.

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When you first encounter the possibility of a divorce, and don't want that divorce; you get desperate. I did. And your instincts tell you that desperate situations need desperate measures - and your emotions tell you to go beg your spouse to save your marriage. I have been through all those - and as you might have guessed, apologizing or begging doesn't work at all when you want to repair a marriage. Talking and apologizing might work when your marriage is merely a normal marriage with its fair share of fights - not when a marriage is on the brink of divorce.

So what made me get my marriage back?

What you must know is that people have an increased tendency to want things they can't have. This is exactly what you should use to your advantage. For example, stopping to beg works immediately to your advantage. This will make your spouse think that you are no longer "dying for him/her" and this makes you harder to get in his eyes. Suddenly this makes you a lot more attractive.

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I often hear from people who dreaded their marital or trial separation. Many of them assumed that this was going to be among the most challenging periods in their lives. So, they can be quite surprised to find that they aren't as devastated as they had feared. In fact, many are quite surprised to find that they aren't missing their spouse nearly as much as they expected. And they are often left wondering what this means in terms of their marriage.

Common comments are things like: "it was actually my husband who wanted the separation. I begged him not to pursue this. I didn't want to do this to my family. Honestly, I have not been on my own since I was a very young adult. I was afraid of being alone. I assumed that I would be so unhappy if my husband and I separated. I thought that I would spend the majority of my days dwelling on just how much I was missing him. And I was completely shocked to find that this isn't true. The first week was kind of rough, but since that time, I've started to get more used to it. The kids and I are actually able to relax. There is no more fighting. I have actually started working out after work and I even go out with coworkers sometimes. I actually have time to read for pleasure and to focus on myself. This really isn't so bad. I don't miss my husband all that much. And I'm kind of worried about that. Because I do want to save my marriage. I think that divorcing would ultimately be detrimental to my children and they are what is most important to me. Is my marriage over if I don't miss him? Does this mean that I am better off without him?" I will try to address these questions in the following article.

Sometimes You Don't Miss Your Spouse Because It Is A Relief To Be Rid Of All Of The Conflict: There's no denying that things can be pretty bad in your marriage and within your household right before you actually separate. This can be an extremely difficult time where it feels as if everything is immediate and awful. So when the separation actually happens, and you hear peace and quiet for the first time in a very long time, it can understandably be quite a relief. It can feel like an improvement or an upgrade. But it's possible that in this situation, it's not that you do not miss your husband. It's that you do not miss the drama and you sort of like the independence. Time will usually give you a little more perspective on this. And many people find that once the novelty of the separation wears off and the silence contributes to loneliness instead of bliss, then they actually do begin to miss their spouse.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Give Yourself Some Time To Determine Your Wishes Before You Declare That You Don't Miss Him: It's very normal for both spouses to want to know how the other is faring during the separation. It wouldn't be uncommon for your husband to ask how you are feeling. Some wives will want to be brutally honest and announce that you aren't missing him at all. But I would caution you to consider delaying this. As I've alluded to before, your feelings do sometimes evolve and change during this process. And there is really no sense in saying something that might hurt your spouse when you aren't sure how you may feel tomorrow.

I think that it's a better choice to tell your spouse that you and the kids are coping relatively well and that you are taking things as they come. It's OK to tell him that it's a relief not to have the conflict, as long as you understand that it's totally possible to learn to erase the conflict and still maintain your marriage. Yes, there is a history of conflict in the past. But this can actually be the stimulus to remove that conflict for the sake of your family. And this can be true regardless of what happens with your marriage. That can only be beneficial to you.

Allow This To Be The Nudge That Allows You To Improve Things For The Sake Of Your Family: Many people will feel extremely guilty that they don't miss their spouse. There's a real risk in shutting down and retreating. I believe that this is the worst thing that you can do. Not missing your spouse is an indicator that there is some relief in being alone because being together had some real negatives. Allow this to be the stepping off point to make some improvements that are going to improve your family life moving forward. This will only benefit you and your children regardless of whether you want to save your marriage or not. The relationship with your children's father is going to be vitally important for the rest of the children's lives.

Even if you don't ultimately save your marriage, there are always improvements that can be made. And sometimes separating allows both of you to calm down and see things quite differently. But to answer the question posed, not missing your spouse during a trial separation doesn't always mean that you no longer love him or that your marriage is over. But it can be an indication that it's been a relief to be free from the conflict. And it can help to use this as a stepping off point to erase the conflict once and for all.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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