My Husband Hates Me but Won't Leave: What You Can Do To Recapture His Heart

It is such a mind-altering feeling when your husband abandons you. Every one of those years together creates an enduring bond that is hard to break even after the breakup is initiated. What can you possibly do with yourself now that you are not sharing that special time together with him? What about your family? It can be a terrifying feeling to be left alone after a marriage. As a wife, I felt that pain when my husband left me many years ago. But today, after that initial break-up, we are back together and stronger than ever before. So when I encourage you to get your husband back, and you go out and get him, you can be assured that I have trod that path before you, and that I was successful in recuperating my marriage.

Women are extremely prone to emotional trauma. There are few things that create the kind of emotional chaos that a marriage break-up can do. There is an urge that quells up to do something before your husband is lost forever, and that unfortunately creates the wrong kind of emotional reactions to the situation. Begging and crying to your husband will not work.

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Your husband needs a lot of personal time to dwell and think. Even if it is permanently, he will need his time to think. Hopefully, it is temporarily. Nothing you can do can take over his urge to be left alone. If you deny him his time to be alone, it will only make that feeling of wanting to escape you worse. If you crave something and can't have it, you may develop a deep grudge. You don't want your husband to have a grudge against you so give him his alone time. He won't forget you in a night so give him his time away to think.

Allowing him to leave without much complaining will accomplish some very important things. He will be grateful to you for respecting his needs to be alone, and he will start missing you because only after he loses you will he understand how much you meant to him.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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Save my marriage now - that's all you want to do - what you HAVE to do. Don't think that your marriage is doomed. It certainly is NOT! A lot of couples face marital issues every day, and they learn to resolve those problems. They have taken their marriage from a point of crisis to a marriage that is stronger than ever before, and now you are going to learn how, too!

Marriage Requires Work

A healthy relationship requires work. To keep a marriage healthy, you have to put effort into it. If you don't, then small problems will snowball, and you will be on your way to an avalanche, and fast! A marriage is made up of good times and bad. It requires that couples learn how to face these problems and tackle them - TOGETHER. Facing marital issues isn't easy, and it is definitely more difficult if you are the only one trying. But is CAN be done, and your marriage will be stronger in the long run, because of the effort you put into it now.

What's Wrong?

Before you can do anything else, you have to find out why the problem started in the first place. If they are willing to talk, talk to your spouse. Ask them what they think the problems is. There are two sides to every story. By seeing things from BOTH sides, you can better understand what is happening, and then you can find ways to resolve those issues.

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Resolving the Issue at Hand

Learn how to tackle one problem at a time. There are many different ways to fix a problem. If your first attempt doesn't work, try something different. If you stop trying when one thing doesn't work, you are giving up. NEVER give up on your marriage! You got married for a reason! If you are getting more depressed as you try to fix the problems, try to think back to when you had fun in your marriage. By bringing those positive thoughts back into your mind, dealing with problems becomes much easier.

You have to be persistent. Don't try one thing and quit if it doesn't work. Try to talk to your spouse and see how they think it could be fixed. This may open your eyes to different things you haven't thought of. The best way to work on a marriage is by both of you working together. I know, sometimes this just isn't possible. But at least TRY to get your spouse to help.

Sometimes, it takes one person's persistence to make the marriage better to show the other person that it IS worth fighting for! Show your spouse that you want to save your marriage. That may be just what they need to also turn around and start working to save it.

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Couples fight. And they make up. When two people are living together, disagreements are sometimes normal. But what can and should be avoided are fights which make the relationship toxic. There are fights which when end leave the couple feeling silly and after a big round of laughs, all is forgiven and forgotten. But then there are fights which leave both the partners emotionally drained, driving a wedge between them. Such fights unfortunately tend to have a cascading effect and end up doing more harm than we can imagine. Once toxic words weaken a relationship, it is very hard to cement it back again.

How can we avoid such fights? It is not that you can control a fight or its outcome. Because there are a lot of variables involved. But what you can do is have certain do's and don't which can help you avoid getting into a fight which is truly nasty and toxic.

Be Patient

I know it's a cliche. But a patient person can easily avert a potentially disastrous argument. When an agitated person sees someone calm and composed even after their rants, their agitation cools down and the tension de-escalates to a considerable extent.Say that you love them and mo matter what they said jut now, you didn't mind anything at all because you understand they are angry about something and it is important to vent out any pent up emotions. Now that they have done that, you are willing to talk and sort things out as you want to help them, not get into a fight. You want to understand what made them angry and you are more than willing to work together so that in future, you can avoid the same situation as a couple.

Do Not Give The Silent Treatment

Many people think the if they can sense a fight brewing, they should clam up and after the other person is tired of a one sided fight, they will stop of their own accord and everything will be back to normal when they cool down. This is a misconception of the worst kind. An angry person almost always takes silence as admission of guilt. Their frustration multiplies and goads them into saying things they would normally won't. Yes it is true that once they cool down, they might apologize. But what about you? Would you forget the hateful things they said in the heat of the moment? Just because you didn't open your mouth to gently show them what they are saying is wrong, you might end up hearing a lot of unpleasant things. Would you be able to let go or would you carry a grudge till the next fight?

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Don't Be Too Quick To Judge

Remember, a fight is not a situation when someone is in their best behavior.Yes, they might behave in a different way, but now is not the time to be a judge of characters. This will only worsen things. Many people will disagree with me. But I ask them, how are you like when you are angry? Are you rational, normal self? Of course not. Imagine what if everyone starts judging you after a fight. You would feel that is unfair. Yes, people momentarily lose control.But as a spouse, your duty is to remind them of their actual self and show them that what they did was wrong. But you are ready to forgive them as this is not their nature. Let me be clear at this point that this doesn't include instances of physical abuse or constant mental harassment.

Don't Assume Anything

Clarify. If you hear "I hate you", do not assume your relationship is nearing its end.

"You have changed" doesn't necessarily mean you have lost your appeal and no longer interest your spouse.

"There is no use talking to you" doesn't mean your spouse is saying you are unable to understand him/her.

Talk. Keep the lines of communication open. Ask them what they meant by it after they cool down. This is for your own good. Who wants to carry hurt feelings in their heart based on assumptions. It sounds stupid, doesn't it?

Don't Be Sarcastic

There is absolutely no need to be sarcastic to prove a point when it can be done otherwise. It will feel offensive in the midst of a fight and things may be escalated much more.

Don't Suffer From The Last Word Syndrome

Many people keep arguing just to have the last say in an argument. This is extremely stupid and may lead to a completely new fight. You have to understand that having the last world just satisfies your ego. The other person might be completely frustrated. Remember, it's your husband or wife you are fighting with. If you feel you have to win the fight and argument, then you both lose.

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Listen

Yes, you both are angry. But do not forget to listen what your spouse is saying. Do not drown his/her voice by shouting or reacting angrily. Listen as much as you talk. You do want a solution, don't you? Or you are too competitive and foolish?

Do Not Play The Blame Game

Don't be quick to blame your spouse. Don't start highlighting mistakes and failures to gain the upper hand. Remember, if you think your spouse has failed in something, it is not their failure alone, it is the failure of your marriage. Blaming someone during a fight will definitely offend them and as a defensive gesture, they might resort to blaming to. In such a situation, there is very less chance to salvage the situation and end the fight amicably

Remember, in every fight, there is one person who initiates it. I am not saying that person is wrong. Everyone of us, at some point of time, have been that person who starts the fight. The important thing is to stop the fight from being a negative turning point in your relationship. And yes, have a sense of humor. It has helped a lot of marriages survive. How? Well..I will save that for another day!

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In almost every marriage, we hear the reflection of the words, "Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate". Most people enter into marriage hoping to be together for life.

It's our duty to guard our marriage to keep the outside world from separating it. Solidifying the foundation: The Love between husband and wife. This is not easy and certainly not cheap as it will cost us a lot our marriage will only be as strong as we invest in it.

When third parties are in a marriage, they don't just show up. The very existence of third parties is normally a sign of issues within the marriage Its not a cause of the problem but a product Affairs will not just happen to a healthy marriage when "the other" just shows up. When in problems, we are less resistant to allow other people to come between our spouse and us. In fact we almost get them in to avoid dealing with the troubles in our marriage. The affair or other emotional betrayals are not the problem; they are the fruit of the problems.

Getting rid of the person or anything causing challenges in marriage is the tendency for most people. Keeping the pain from becoming suffering is critical.
Our attitude is important and we should address it and not trying to manipulate others. We influence how we see life by who we are and that is sometimes far from how life really is. You will affect your life greatly just by participating in it.

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If your marriage is in trouble and you want to save it, you can act on it now. Each day you wait hardens the ability to act later and will probably minimize the success rate of saving your marriage. "If you do not change direction, you will end up where you are heading". Chinese saying.

Many marriages have been saved in spite of the statics of the ones that have failed. In fact, statics are worse on the rate of divorce for the second marriages. Even when you are the only one who wants to save the Marriage, you can resolve to get to the bottom of it before throwing the towel. People in most difficult and unbelievable situations have turned them around and made marriages that are dream marriages at any level.

Do not overlook the trouble and addiction, as they are indeed calling for attention. They demand correction. Even though you accept the situation, do not be complacent. If people you love, yourself or your loved one are at risk, get out of harms way.

We do indeed all have an internal cock. "Something inside of us is perfectly aware of not just time but timing". We know when to act and the time not to act. Always trust your intuition and ACT. Marriage is meant to be a gift to your life, embrace it, safe guard and fight for it making it the treasure for both you and your spouse.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here

Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com