My Husband Is Not Turned On By Me Anymore: I Dont Turn My Husband On Anymore

My Husband Is Not Turned On By Me Anymore: I Dont Turn My Husband On Anymore

Lack of sexual intimacy is one of the most common problems in marriages today. Many couples find that they no longer have sex with their spouse as often as they would like, but feel powerless to fix it. The longer the marital dry spell continues, the more insurmountable the problem can feel, until it can become a potentially catastrophic problem in the marriage. Here are some tips on how to fix a sexless marriage, before it is too late and someone does something that you both will regret. An estimated 18% of the married population suffers the problem of reduced sexual intimacy at some point or another, so never feel that you and your spouse are alone in this.

The most important thing that you can do to reignite the sexual desire in your relationship is talk about it with your spouse. If you don't do that, and get to the bottom of what is really causing the lack of sex than none of the other tips on how to fix a sexless marriage are worth even reading. As with any problem, the first step in fixing it is admitting that you have a problem. The difference in this problem is that you must admit to yourself and your spouse that you have a problem, and you both must admit that there is a problem to even begin to make any headway toward fixing it.

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Once you have agreed that you would both like to have more sexual intimacy in your marriage, there are a number of things that you can do to start making that happen. Figure out why you are not having sex now, and what you would need to change in order to start. Does one or both of you feel unattractive to the other? If so, one of the easiest tips on how to fix a sexless marriage is to let one another know, through words and actions, that you still find your spouse sexy. Is one or both of you overly stressed? Try alleviating the stress and remember that sex is a great stress reducer!

There are many other tips on how to fix a sexless marriage, but they all basically boil down to one thing: the best way to start having sex again is to simply start having sex again. It sounds too easy, but it is true. The more you have sex with one another, the more your sex drive will be stimulated. The more that your sex drive is stimulated, the more you will want to have sex. The more you want to have sex, well, you get the idea!

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What is foreplay? For many people, the answer to this question is pretty hazy. Sure, they may have a rough idea that it has something to do with first, second and third base, but beyond that, they are fairly clueless. They know that foreplay is something that you do before having sex, but they are not really sure why. If you are one of these people, be warned, that is a pretty dangerous way of thinking, especially if you are married. Disregarding foreplay can lead to unrewarding sexual experiences for your spouse which may eventually lead to a lack of sexual experiences for you!

So what is foreplay then? Foreplay is any activity, be it verbal, visual, or physical that helps get you and your spouse in the mood to have sex. It can include kissing, licking, sucking, nibbling and blowing on various body parts. It can include watching adult movies. It can involve whispering sexy little nothings into one another's ears. It may be performing a striptease or lap dance for your lover. Just as every person has their own favorite flavors of ice cream, every person has different types of foreplay that work for them.

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When you were a teenager, it is likely that most of your "sex life" consisted of the heavy petting and "making out" that are all part of foreplay. When those were the only sexual activities that you were engaging in, you rarely rushed through them, to get to the main event. As an adult in a sexual relationship though, these actions are often discarded or given only the briefest exploration, before diving headlong into intercourse. Sometimes that is fine. But other times that may result in only one of you climaxing. Try instead focusing on pleasuring your partner without penetration. Even if it means that one or both of you orgasm without sex, it doesn't mean that you can't keep going and have more orgasms later.

Just because you are married doesn't mean that you can't make out like a bunch of teenagers. Touch, lick, talk and tickle. Oral sex is a great way to get one another ready and excited for sex. The extreme arousal and anticipation that you will both experience by enjoying prolonged foreplay will lead to the most mind blowing sex that you have had in a long time. And what married couple doesn't want heat like that in their bedroom?

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Do you find yourself struggling to get your marriage back on the right track? Have you taken the time to narrow down or identify what the real problems are in your marriage? If you didn't know already, maintaining a healthy marriage by itself takes a lot of work. And, if you're having many problems in your marriage at the moment, then you probably know you have even more work to do to sort it all out. But, do you really know what makes marriage work and if you're doing the right things to get your marriage back on track? Maybe this will help.

When married couples begin having problems that haven't been brought on by a major blow to the marriage like addiction or cheating on one another, it usually comes down to a disruption in the balance of things within your marriage. One of you starts to feel like you're not getting all you need or that the other is selfish. This feeling can become, for lack of better words, a small wound in the marriage that continues bleeding without notice. Eventually, one of you can't take it anymore, and it has built up for so long that there's really no easy solution in sight, since it's pretty much spilled over into every part of your lives.

What happens is, this small wound in the marriage has actually created what seems like a number of reasons why one of you is unhappy in the marriage, when in reality it all comes back to this lack of balance between the both of you. Sometimes it's very difficult for the other spouse to see this and may seem impossible to get them to understand.

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What you have to do, if you're the spouse experiencing this lack of balance in your marriage is to begin taking note. You may have it all in your head all of the ways you feel like you've been short changed in the marriage. But when it comes to letting it all out or getting your point across to try an explain to your spouse how you're feeling and how it's affecting your marriage, it doesn't quite come out the way you want it. What you need to do is write it down.

Sit down, and make a list of what is bothering you most. As you write it down, or after you've made a good list of your best points, begin running through your head the best way to get this across to your spouse. What you have to do is start to make a comparison to things in your spouses everyday life that you can use as examples. Something that they will better respond too. It's hard to get them at first to see it through your eyes or from your perspective, but if you use things that they're used to dealing with or affect them everyday it will help get your points across a lot better.

Basically, this is a "what if this was me, doing this to you" list. This will help you for one, getting everything into words which helps tremendously to express fully the point you're trying to make. Two, getting your point across in a way that your spouse will understand and can compare to how it would affect them if you were doing the same things.

Sometimes, this can be all you need to get your spouse to see your side and open them up to change.

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Searching for ways to resolve marriage trouble is a positive step to getting your marriage back on track and my intention is to help you get started right now.

My goal is to give you a few suggestions on how to deal with some of the more common marriage trouble areas and they are as follows;

Intimacy Marriage Trouble

The first suggestion I would make is that you figure out what you want and need for you to be happy and satisfied with the intimacy in your marriage. Do you need more pillow talk conversations, more hugs, kisses or passion from your spouse? Is it that you don't feel loved like you use to?

It's important to understand what is it that you are missing in your relationship before you work on fixing the problem. Once you figure out what you need I would suggest you gently, politely, suggestively nudge your spouse to give you what you need.

Don't wait for your spouse to read your mind and figure it out. Hoping and wishing and dreaming may only make you more frustrated. The quickest way to deal with marriage trouble related to intimacy is create the environment for it to happen and make it happen. Eventually your spouse will catch on and return the love, without your nudging.

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Communication Marriage Trouble

Communication is one of the keys to a great marriage. To improve the communication in your marriage it's important to nail down what's wrong. Is it that you don't talk about substantive matters? Ok, figure out what you want to talk about! Is it that you always argue when discussing anything important? Ok, then it's time to figure out what you really are arguing about and is it really masking another problem you don't want to deal with.

Once you figure out what the communication marriage trouble is I would suggest you set aside one night when you have some alone time and discuss the most important ones. You may be surprised how easily some of them can be fixed if you work together and understand what the problem is.

Commitment Marriage Trouble

Spouses often times say they are committed to their marriage but their actions don't show that they are. For example, marriage trouble often begins when one or both spouses begin to let work, hobbies or family come between them. Before you know it the marriage takes a back seat to everything else.

Without the commitment, there are so many ways for the marriage trouble to grow and before you know it you have two strangers living under the same roof.

If marriage commitment is a problem it's time to grab your spouse by the ear (I mean hand) and re-commit to each other in specific ways. It's not okay to just say "I'm committed". You should work out the actions that need to happen so you are both satisfied that you are improving your marriage and commitment and leaving little room for trouble to creep in.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.