My Husband Left Me After 20 Years: My Husband Left And Said He Doesn't Know When Or If He's Coming Back

I get a lot of emails or questions about what a wife should do if her husband leaves the home. One example is the one I got over the weekend where the wife told me that her husband would not disclose where he was going or how long he would be gone. He had basically told her that he had no idea when he was coming back or even if he was. The wife wanted to know how she should handle this. Of course, she was worried sick about both him and the marriage. But, his leaving had made it very clear that he wanted some time and space. Intellectually, she knew that she should probably honor this request, but emotionally, she could not imagine just allowing this to progress naturally. I'll share with you what I told her in the following article.

Don't Allow Your Wanting Him To Come Home Too Soon To Drive You To Make Overly Emotional Decisions: I know that if you've found this article, you probably want your husband home nearly immediately. And the longer he's gone, the worse this feels. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead you to make rash or overly emotional decisions. In truth, your husband likely left to get a break from the situation in the hopes that the high emotions would calm down and that you could both think a bit more rationally. So, if you push him or continuously call or nag or try to engage him as to why he is doing this, you are only giving him more of what he was already trying to escape and this can actually make the situation worse and set you back in terms of time.

I know that it's very difficult, but try very hard to let the time and space happen and doing so will often allow the situation to slightly improve even if the improvement is only due to a lessening of the growing tension. I know that there's a distinct possibility that you may have said or done some things that you regret and there will be a time to communicate this, but this time is often not immediately after he leaves. Give both of you the time to calm down and to reflect a bit before you attempt to make or receive contact.

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Controlling What He Thinks (And Hopefully Feels) When He Thinks About You: It's highly likely that he's at a crossroads right now. He's not sure if he's better off in the marriage or outside of it. He's likely going to think about you and the marriage as he struggles to decide which way that he wants to go. This will likely include past memories and recent ones. Do you really want to give him a glimpse of you as needy and desperate so that this is what he can think of when he ponders this? Of course not. You want for him to see you as a positive influence rather than a negative one. Always keep this in the back of your mind before you act. I know that this is easier said than done, but it's so necessary.

And, here's what you have in your corner, although you might now realize it right now. You already know what attracts him and draws him to you in terms of behavior. So, this is what you want to give him to ponder right now. Now, you may have already behaved in a way that runs counter to this. But, tomorrow is a new day and you'll focus on controlling what you can. There will come a time when you will need to or be able to interact with him. When that day comes, you want to draw on your best self so that when he remembers back on that encounter, he's pleasantly surprised and not drawing on memories of someone who is desperate, high maintenance, needy, or unattractive, which brings me to my next point.

Spend Your Time Doing The Things That Strengthen You: I know that you probably have a burning desire to text or call him and then to watch sad movies or listen to sad songs or hang out with friends who are also going through a break up. While this might provide some comfort momentarily, it's not your best bet for the long term. You want to concentrate on doing things that strengthen you and make you feel strong and competent. This might feel counter productive at the time, but it truly is not up.

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Surround yourself with positive, upbeat people. If you are going to focus on your appearance, focus on doing things that make you feel better, not worse. Don't beat yourself up or tell yourself if you were a better wife or had more to offer, this would not have happened. Instead, focus on what you can do moving forward. Do whatever you need to do to improve yourself and build your confidence. This is going to work for you in a couple of ways. First, it's going to make you more attractive to him. Confidence and competence is appealing and attractive. But, more than that, it's going to make you feel a little bit better and provide you with a little relief.

I know that you may feel that this plan is risky, but it's really the only way to set it up so that you know he's coming back of his own free will. If you give in to the negative feelings and guilt or beg him back, you will always wonder deep down if he came back for the right reasons of his own free will. It's also important that you focus on bonding and resuming the closeness before you try to pick apart or "work on" your marriage. If you are already on shaky ground, you don't want to reintroduce any huge stressors until the relationship is able to endure this.

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If you're seeking ways to help you fix your troubled marriage and how to save marriage; you're reading the right thing. There are 2 groups of people in your shoes; the first group are those of you who have problems which are slightly annoying and although aren't an immediate threat to your marriage you would rather solve them anyway. If you land in this category then firstly I want to commend you for being the proactive other half.

On the other hand there will be some of you who do not fall in this category, and will only be proactive when push comes to shove and seek advice when you start to really see your marriage coming to an end. If this is you and you feel your marriage could end in a divorce, I really feel for you. I too have been through the same situation as you and I know nobody should go through it because the pain is unbearable.

In these desperate times, the majority of you will feel need to act immediately and urgently do something drastic to save your marriage. I myself I didn't know who or where I should turn to, I can tell you marriage counselling is very beneficial. However this will only work if both of you are WILLING to participate. In my case my husband did not want to fix it, I was left by myself struggling an uphill battle and the only thing I really could think was to beg him to give it another go.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

I really believed there was no way to save my marriage.

I soon realised that I had let my emotions control my mind and became completely misguided on how to handle the situation.

By the time I acknowledge my mind was thinking straight due to my emotions, I was in a deep state of depression but I knew I need to seek outside advice. This made all the difference in the world and it was the answer on how to save marriage.

So your first step in order to save your marriage is to actually accept that emotions will affect your thoughts and you need to get outside advice on how to save marriage.

From experience I know this is much easier said and done, but I can tell you that it was the reason I managed to save my marriage which looked like it was going for good. I found my help from an outside source, and like you I needed help in doing so. My words here you are currently reading is an "outside source", and I am now your outside source. I want to help others in my same situation I went through, I want to show you exactly what I did.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Your marriage at one time brought you both joy, peace and content. Somewhere along the way things went wrong. Saving a marriage through trust and transparency will provide a solid foundation for your future together.

Unfortunately in many relationships the breakdown of trust leads to the demise of the marriage. Someones indiscretion breaks down in an instant whatever trust has been developed over time. When that trust is breached the first question from the offended partner is usually "what else don't I know about?"

If you are the offending partner you have a lot of work to do. Saving a marriage is a process and it doesn't happen overnight. It will require complete transparency and openness that you may never have had with your partner before. Your actions not your words going forward will dictate the results you witness in your marriage. No amount of convincing will overcome a breach of trust. Consistency in your actions will demonstrate your true character over time.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

If you are the one that was hurt by your partner you will need to be brutally honest with yourself. Was the indiscretion part of a broader pattern of disrespect or hurtful behavior? Are you willing to forgive your partner for the act if they are truly remorseful and working with you to find a solution and save a damaged marriage? It will require vulnerability on your part to take the chance of being hurt again.

If both of you are willing to work together to heal and grow together then it will happen more quickly. If only one of you is working toward a solution you will need help and soon. There are ways to heal your marriage even if only one of you is initially working towards a solution.

It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring your relationship.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

I have it on good advice that us guys need to be a teddy bears in marriage. Whilst I'm no expert on the topic, I can note with due attention the nod of approval toward this idea from one's wife. Cuddly and fluffy is the call. As an opposite image, there's no surer thing than a bull roaring through the china shop, breaking all the precious fine china displayed -- not a good image in a marriage.

Not every wife needs a teddy bear husband to be honest, but what a guy's wife needs she should get -- is that not so? It's the Christian model of marriage we're espousing; one for the other, the other for one. So, what gives with the teddy bear symbolism?

1. Teddy bears are quiet. They don't talk much. They're pretty docile and cute, so to speak. I think I can do that.

2. Teddy bears provide warmth and are ideal to cuddle up with, and even sob of few tears into (if and as necessary).

3. Teddy bears are totally accepting; they'll never reject you. You're theirs for life, and even when your bear is tired and ragged at the seams, he'll still be just as faithful as he always was.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

4. Teddy bears are fluffy too. The fluffiness is particularly important because fluffiness absorbs; it absorbs the hurts so naturally.

What teddy bears don't do:

1. They don't give advice; they're totally useless at providing direction and telling you what you need to do. They can't talk back; they don't have a comment to make.

2. They won't try and encourage you when a good ole fashioned cuddle would do.

3. They don't scare you. They couldn't harm a fly. They'd cuddle the fly! Absolutely harmless.

So, the teddy bear is a symbol for me; for the man I need to be. Let's raise a toast to every living teddy bear who just happens to be married.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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