My Husband Won't Talk To Me About Our Relationship: Husband Talks To Everyone Except Me - Why Married Men Don't Communicate With Their Wives

For most women, I believe its second nature for us to talk. Whether we're in church, the beauty shop, or even work, we just love to talk.

Whether it's related to family, clothes, TV shows, men, and even other women, we're normally filled with our opinions on these hot topics. While this is the case among women, however, in most cases it's the exact opposite with men, especially when it comes to married men talking with their wives.

"Married Men." Sometimes they're hard to figure out. We often expect them to talk, and share their innermost feelings, hurts, and pains. But what happens when they don't?

It feels like a faucet that's stopped up. As women, we're thirsty to hear, to share, to interact and feel loved by our husbands. However, when our thirst is not quenched by meaningful conversation, it can leave us feeling lonely, hurt, rejected, and even unloved. We begin to wonder, "Why won't he talk to me? I'm a good wife. I cook. I clean. I take care of our kids. How hard can it be for him to"

As a married woman I can understand your pain. While my husband and I have grown a lot in the area of communication, I still often wonder why men don't talk as freely as we do. In fact, I've even questioned my husband and other married men about why it can be such a challenge for them to talk. As a result, I learned some reasons why men refuse to talk to their wives:

1) He never learned how to communicate. Is it possible that your husband never learned how to talk when he was growing up? Maybe his father wasn't in the home. Or if his father was, it's possible that he never saw his parents communicate properly to one another. It's even possible that he was told as a child NOT to express his feelings because it wasn't the "manly" thing to do. If any of these situations describe your husband, then this can be a good indication as to why he doesn't communicate the way you prefer: It was never modeled for him growing up. When one never sees an example, it's almost impossible to communicate effectively.

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2) He's all talked out.
If your husband works with the public as mine does, he's been talking all day by the time he gets home from his job. By the time hubby gets home, he's ready to do a few things, (none of which include talking): detox by watching TV, lying down, eating, or making love to you.

3) You talk too much.
A lot of times in our zeal to share our day or our feelings we fail to recognize when our husbands actually do try to talk to us. In our excitement to share the events of our day, we miss cues, and we have so much to say that we're not showing a genuine interest in their responses.

This was often the case with me. I love to talk and my husband doesn't talk as much especially when he's tired. I would talk to him and ask him questions about work. Often I would complain about my tough day, and when he tried to share his thoughts, I would get frustrated because I didn't want his input. (While there are times when we just want them to listen, we must include them in our world because they're apart of us.) Needless to say, my unwillingness to hear my husband caused him to shut down.

While you're ready to talk and share your heart with your husband he often wants to do the exact opposite.

For this reason, it's important to find creative ways to communicate with him such as:
• Refusing to nag.
Cooking (or buying) him a good meal.
• Handing him the remote.
• Looking and smelling good.

When you make the choice to do at least some of these things, (or whatever you know your husband prefers), you're on the path to communicating one big message: "I love you, I respect you, I appreciate you, and I value you as a man." This speaks volumes, if you can do these things on a consistent basis, with the right attitude, and pray that God will show you the right opportunities to talk, over time your husband could make the decision to talk to you.

While it's easier for us as women to talk, share, and open our hearts, it's important to learn creative ways for communicating with your husband. In turn, doing these things can set the atmosphere for him to open up and talk to you one step at a time.

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People go into marriage expecting it to be OUT OF THIS WORLD. However, often we hear, "Houston, we have a problem". Or maybe it is in Denver, Memphis or somewhere in North Dakota. Marriages start going out of orbit and people start seeking the easiest way out- divorce. However, marriages usually can be fixed, if the people remember a few basic principles. These principles include remembering the wedding vows of commitment and love, taking time to talk to one another and to God, and learning to manage money.

If someone asked you why you married, you would probably say because of love.
Marriages often start with passionate-Eros-love. As time goes on, love may become more blasé-as Greeks call it-philia love. A successful marriage is one where the couple has sacrificial love or agape kind of endearment. This is the kind that is like the Energizer Bunny-it keeps on giving and giving and giving. It involves remembering the wedding vow of commitment. AN OUT OF THIS WORLD MARRIAGE comes when couples continue to have love even though the responsibly of the marriage may be one-sided because of health, family issues or separation such as the military. When the marriage starts going off course, the man and woman need to sit together and recall the good times they've had together and allow their minds to spin with love. Love, forgiveness and understanding can blast through time and space to prevent the disaster of a divorce.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Communication with one another and God is essential to AN OUT OF THIS WORLD MARRIAGE. Couples need to discuss the things that are causing tension. Family is a problem that often causes friction in marriage. The rearing of children or the interference of in-laws can create havoc with marital bliss. Peace of mind and solutions come when a couple prays together. Leave love notes under a spouse's plate, call and leave a phone message to say, "I love you". Text your spouse, "I'm praying for you". Send an unexpected gift for no reason. Set aside some time just for the two of you. Face to face encounters are feasible when couples budget their time as well as their incomes.

Money problem is considered number one in family units. Couples should file a budget plan and manage the income with a home computer bookkeeping system. When a spouse deviates from the plan, adjustments should be made together to correct it. Calculate the amount of money needed for debts and credit card charges. Use only one or two credit cards. Consider credit card outlays deleted from the income like cash. Daily record all monetary outflow. Discuss which spouse should be responsible for this daily record. Locate a bin or container in a central location for the other spouse to place receipts. Periodically, both should review the financial records. Place both names on spending and saving accounts. There should be no "his account" and "her account". Remain as debt free as probable and always talk about large expenditures before purchasing. AN OUT OF THIS WORLD MARRIAGE is possible when couples practice the principle that they learned in kindergarten: share with one another.

AN OUT OF THIS WORLD MARRIAGE takes a lifetime to achieve. Successful astronauts fly to the moon or the space station and return within a few days. Successful marriage partners travel through life until one is deceased. A successful marriage is one that can fix problems. A successful marriage is one that is OUT OF THIS WORLD.

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At times there are just too many problems in a marriage for a couple to continue to living together in the usual "married" fashion. If you and your spouse have reached this point, but you're not ready to give and divorce, a separation can provide you with the chance to rebuild your relationship and your trust in each other.


Your first instinct after a separation may be to try to get back together and back to normal as quickly as possible. But don't rush--taking things slowly and carefully is the best thing you can do toward rebuilding your marriage. Give yourself and your spouse time to really come to grips with the underlying issues you have with each other and to figure out lasting solutions to these problems. If you're in too much a hurry to just get back together and decide to just bury some of these issues, you risk setting yourselves up for more trouble down the road.

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When you and your spouse spend time together during a separation, don't spend all of your hashing out arguments and addressing weaknesses in your marriage. Think back to when the two of you first met and fell in love, and recreate those feelings by doing the fun things you used to enjoy together. You'll start to see each other in that exciting light you once did instead of as a spouse you've been arguing with and doing all that mundane stuff like chores and errands with for years. This will be enormously helpful in injecting a fresh, healthy new life into your marriage.


Blame and hostility are the two most powerful enemies against a marriage. Even if you both want to get back together, if the two of you can't refrain from finger-pointing and bringing up past offenses, your marriage is doomed. You may know for certain your spouse was in the wrong and deserves the blame--don't do it. Instead, focus on your future together by resolving issues and forgiving each other for the pain you've caused one another. Commitment and positive thinking are the best ways to get your relationship back on track and maybe even stronger than ever.

If you and your spouse are separated, don't lose hope. Sometimes it just takes being away from someone for a little while to realize how much we want to with them.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Marriage and substance abuse

For the sake of this article, the terms substance abuse will include any drug that may be addictive, even prescription drugs. It will also include alcoholism.

For many years drug addiction and alcoholism in marriages has been seen as a personal problem and the spouse and family have been ignored when help has been needed. Women have especially been oppressed by husbands that suffer from these addictions. The spouse has undergone emotional and many times physical violence.

Spouses and family members have had to hide in secrecy due to the shame and guilt they felt at the hands of their spouse. Children have not been ignored during this situation and have had to experience extreme physical and emotional violence. It has been stated that a child growing up in an alcoholic family will experience the same abuse an adult in a concentration camp will experience.

Why is this? Why does the addict not recognize what they do to their family? Why does the spouse continue to stay and endue this type of behavior toward themselves and their children? The issues are complex and two numerous to address in an article of this size.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

As a professional social worker, employed in the field of marriage and family counseling I will attempt to address some of the psychological and social factors that contribute to this problem. First for many years our society has looked away from the problem families and spouses of drug addicts and alcoholics face. We have taken the position that it is not the government's place to intervene in peoples personal problems. We as a free society have objected that, big brother continues to get bigger and more intrusive.

There was also very little research on the effects alcohol and drugs have on relationships. Social issues are usually not projects the government wishes to fund. Much of the American tax dollar goes to inventing weapons to kill people, not to solve society's problems.

Next many women did not wish to leave their husbands due to the hardship it would bring upon the family. If a woman was a stay at home mother without a source of income and no way to fend for her children, she was unable to leave the addict and continued to be at their mercy. The philosophy was a women's place was at her husband's side and there she was to stay, until death do they part.

The last issue I will address is the lack of self esteem the partner may have. After years of verbal abuse, beatings and being held hostage through financial coercion, it was very unlikely many women had the strength or level of self worth to leave. Many suffered beatings that brought them to near death experiences, would return to the abuser because they felt it was out of love, their job and duty.

In the year 2011 not much has changed. Many women have gone to work, carry the burden of working full time and raising their children by themselves. The drugs have become more dangerous and the government continues to pour resources in creating weapons instead of providing care for its citizens.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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Author's Bio: 

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