My Husband Wont Talk To Me After A Fight: After An Argument Comes Silent Treatment

All marriages have issues and disagreements. You should be free to disagree and still remain friends, partners and lovers for eternity. Issues develop into conflict when couples manage the situation poorly. Conflict can lead to silence, outbursts, bickering, criticizing, shaming, blaming, disrespect, manipulation, lack of sex, lack of intimacy and other forms of marital abuse.

Your 3 Steps for Resolving Fights and Renewing Passion in your marriage are:

IDENTIFY

A problem never identified will be a problem never solved. Is money the issue or a deeper fear of not being able to take care of your family? We often focus on the many surface issues without ever getting to the root of the problem.

Our focus can also be more on being heard, being right or having our own way. We have to be able to answer 2 simple questions.

What is REALLY bothering me?

What is REALLY bothering my spouse?

If these important questions are not answered there will be no progress.

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ISOLATE

Once you manage to get a handle on the real problem the next crucial step is isolation. All this means is that you treat the issue as something separate from your spouse as a person and your marriage as a partnership.

You do not take issues from last week, last month or last year and pile it on the problem. By reducing the size of the issue you also reduce the stress on your mind and emotions. Isolating the issue also makes you realise that there is still lots of safe space in the marriage to enjoy.

IMPROVE

Issues that are identified and isolated can now be examined. You can look at what led to the problem and how the issue is affecting you, your spouse and the functioning of your partnership. Now you can work on creating a better environment for a healthier marriage.

You can work on tweaking how you communicate, interact and make decisions in the future. You can also talk through the issue at hand in a more meaningful way. This allows for personal growth in both parties and better ways to manage your emotions, concerns and thoughts.

Applying these 3 simple steps will help you take greater control over your mind and heart so they work for you instead of against you when dealing with differences and disagreements. Stop allowing conflicts and fights to rob you of romance, respect and reaching the dream you have for your marriage. Resolve the issues and renew the passion in your home.

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Studies have revealed that the probability of divorce is most likely within the first two years of marriage. It is not uncommon to see couples drift apart after the first few years of marriage. However complex your marriage problems may seem, it is possible to resolve every one of them and most solutions are simple.

It is important to identify the exact problems that are posing threat to your very married life. Once you have identified the problem areas, you can start working on them to iron out those pricking spots of hostility. You need to practically note down when and what circumstances brought on the words, actions or behavior signifying deviation from those exhibited during your dating and honeymoon days.

1. Not accepting your spouse as they are
Couples must anticipate and be prepared to handle differences resulting from differences due to cultural backgrounds, different family situations and difference in economic backgrounds and more. You should be patient and willing to work out a common ground by sitting together and openly discussing every issue however small it can seem. There is no need for trying to change the other partner as it would be a futile and painful process with harsh side effects.

2. Taking the relationship for granted
You have to work on any relationship to sustain it. It is natural for couples to allow their priorities to change after the initial years of marriage. That does not mean that you should become insensitive to each other's feelings and needs. Preserving the romance and intimacy is vital to make your married life happy and strong. Small gestures like a hug, a genuine word of appreciation, a surprise gift or an occasional note or phone call will do the trick. The point here is that your sincerity and commitment you put into your relationship will be pay off rich dividends like a deeper love and stronger bond.

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3. Secrets and Snooping around are poisonous
Remember why you married your spouse and try to respect and appreciate those qualities. This will make it easy for you to trust your spouse and allow the space and freedom they deserve. Let there be no chance for any confusion or guesswork in serious family issues. Make detailed plans and arrangements for money handling, kids, in-laws and social activities. Never yield to gossips or external influence and start snooping around as it create havoc to your precious marriage. If possible spend time together in some of these activities as it will make your marriage immune to any danger. By being dishonest with your spouse kills trust and this is the best marriage destroyer. Once trust is lost, it is next to impossible to regain.

4. Not allowing private time for each other
Nurturing a happy marriage in the midst of the pressures of life is essential to keep marriage destroyers at bay. Busy schedules or being away for longer periods, or kids and family pressures can eat up your time. It is easy to ignore the need for spending private time together, but be ready to wonder later how your marriage became so fragile. Try and spend your private time to share your dreams and plans or feelings and views. Take time to show you care and are willing to support and cooperate with your spouse. This can remove unnecessary tension and worry from your married life. Ensure that your marriage is safe and healthy by allowing time for each other.

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A sad fact is that more than half of all married couples give up on their marriage. If this statistic scares you, you must find ways to save your marriage now. Fighting is stressful. Divorce will not lessen the stress, it will just add to it.

When tension is building and you can feel it, it's time to clear the air. If the communication lines are closed, open them. The thing is, once you prevent a break up, it's easier to find ways to save your marriage.

When you've done this, it's time to move on to another phase of your fixing process. Salvaging a failing marriage is not easy. Your pride will have to be the first one to go. Compromise is the operative word here, and this is what you should do.

Learn to recognize the glaring problems. When you start, you will find that not all problems can be fixed all at once.

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Make sure your partner is as committed as you are to solving your problems. Being the only one who wants to find ways to save your marriage can be tiring. If your partner wants the same thing, then you're good.

The most immediate problem must be solved first. Be honest with yourself and find out if you are part of the reason why your marriage is disintegrating. Some common reasons for divorce are cheating and financial problems.

These problems are big enough threats to your marriage so you should deal with them. If your partner is having an affair, express your willingness to help the other person get over the affair. The other partner should show his or her support by being the source of strength and inspiration. If financial worries are a problem, you can consult an accountant.

These are just some of the ways to save your marriage. If you talk to your partner and open up your intentions, you can find more than a few more strategies.

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Family problems can cause untold suffering and symptoms. They can also be very complex so the sooner treatment is started, the better; and while these conflicts often do cause people to seek psychological or marriage counseling, they usually procrastinate, making improvement more difficult. A couple can experience problems because of a medical or psychological problem in either person, or in one of their children. Parent-child problems can also create turmoil. Communication and discipline problems are very common and battles between siblings and the parents seem to make the problems even worse. Divorce and the creation of stepfamilies can create difficulties, sometimes, for all members of the family. Sometimes the couple itself is the problem because of poor communication, continuous conflict, alienation, sexual problems, or in-law problems.

Problems like these often lead to adjustment issues in family members. Since the family relationships are a part of the problem, it may be necessary to change their very structure. A family therapist may provide marriage counseling or family therapy to address these issues or help parents improve their parenting skills.

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Sometimes multiple problems exist such as, depression in one family member, plus conflict in the marriage itself. Several treatment approaches may be necessary in these circumstances. Only infrequently, will a psychologist provide individual psychotherapy to one member of the family, and simultaneously treat the whole family or the couple. However, one exception is that often family treatment for child behavior problems will include individual sessions with the parents. However, these sessions are designed to help with parenting skills only. While it is possible to provide individual psychotherapy to two family members, psychologists have to evaluate its possible effectiveness on a per case basis.

Psychologists doing family therapy or marriage counseling often have received specialized training in family systems theory and in family and marriage therapy skills. When you contact a psychologist for family or marriage counseling, do not hesitate to ask about his/her family therapy training.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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