My Marriage Is Falling Apart and I Don't Know What to Do: How Do I Convince My Husband to Help Me Save Our Marriage

I recently heard from a wife who felt like she was the only one interested in saving her marriage. She and her husband had been having problems for over a year and the husband had apparently become very tired of it because he had recently told the wife that he was seriously considering filing for a divorce in the near future.

The wife couldn't bear the thought of ending her marriage and uprooting her family. She said, in part: "He no longer listens to anything that I say. Every time I try to convince him to work with me to save our marriage, he changes the subject. The thing is, I strongly believe that we could turn our marriage around with just a little effort, but he won't budge. It's heartbreaking for me to sit and watch helplessly as I see everything I worked for walking out the door. What can I do?"

Boy, do I know how this feels. I was in the same situation. And what I learned was that the more "convincing" you try to do, the more resistant they become. This is especially true when the process goes on for a while. Here's the thing. If you've already tried everything in your power to convince your husband to save the marriage and to not walk away, sometimes you have to wait to approach this until after you've carried out another strategy. Sometimes, you need to delay having this conversation until you can adjust his attitude and resistance a little bit. I will discuss this more in the following article.

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Sometimes, The Harder You Try To Convince Your Husband To Save Your Marriage, The More He Wants To End It: And, this is why you have to be slick about your strategy. Because I can't tell you how many husbands tell me that their wife literally will not take no for an answer and then proceeds to bombard him with all types of pleas and promises (which usually fall on deaf ears.)

And, once you've reached this point, you'll often make your situation even worse when you continue pushing. It's almost as if a switch turns and he's now absolutely determined that he wants precisely the opposite of what you want and he's going to make sure that he gets his way. So, don't allow yourself to be on opposing sides. You must find a way to be his ally rather than his adversary. This makes the process go a lot more smoothly and increases your chance for success.

It's Sometimes Best To Put Off The "Convincing" Until You've Already Gained Some Ground: Sometimes, it's all about how you package it. Sometimes, when you ask a husband to "work" with you on the marriage, the mental picture that he gets is not an attractive one, at least to him. He's already resistant, so he's likely going to envision him having to reluctantly talk about his feelings while you continue to ask him more questions and debate with him. Very few men are going to embrace this.

But here's the good news. You can absolutely start this process on your own, without needing his cooperation, at least at first. You can begin to make small changes and improvements on your own. Once he sees that you've backed off and begins to see some improvements, the chances of him jumping on board become much greater. You don't even have to tell him or explain about what you are doing. You simply begin to control what you can (yourself and your own actions) and as the improvements come, you take baby steps toward making a few more. As he begins to get positive feedback, he'll likely begin to participate without your even having to ask or having to spell it out for him.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Much Of The Time, Convincing Him to Save The Marriage Is All In How You Package And Present It: As I said, most husbands are not going to jump at the change to discuss their feelings and slog through all of your problems. But if you don't necessarily want to go it alone and want to elicit at least some of his cooperation, you are so much better off not focusing on the negative.

You don't want to say anything like "our marriage is awful and if we don't work very hard right now, we're going to be very sorry." Instead, you want to shift the focus on the positive things that are easily attainable. The alternative would be something like: "do you remember when you couldn't keep our hands off each other? Remember when we took that trip to (fill in the blank) and never left our room? I miss that. I want that back. I want to return some of that excitement to our marriage and I don't think it would be all that difficult. Let's see what happens."

Do you see the difference? In the second scenario, you're giving him something to look forward to so that he will actually want to participate. And instead of asking "will you work with me to make that happen," you turned down the pressure and said "let's see what happens." In short, you haven't really asked him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. So, he has no reason to resist you and he just might want to stick around to see what's in store.

Sometimes, when you're trying to convince your husband to help you save the marriage, you should never focus on the convincing (or the work that it's actually going to take.) Instead, you'll often be better off if you take matters into you own hands and package the whole thing in a positive way so that you're husband is going to be the beneficiary of the plan rather than the reluctant partner in it. Yes, this requires more work on your part. But won't it be worth it in the end?

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Just how do two people - entwined by God - reconcile the enormous chasm that divides many once-good marriages?

It's a question many are forced to ask. This article is no one-stop-shop on a road to restoration. It can, however, be a detour to deeper insight, a minnow of a step along the way.

It can only cost a minute or so...

First, let's understand - there's no sign of abuse or neglect here. It's just a deeply worn rut both find themselves in.


When we're swept out to sea on the rip of fear, the ebbing-flowing tide but a distant memory of genial times, there's the earnestness of a threat compelling us to take note. We're not waving, we're drowning!

It consumes our focus, and fear spawns, as we notice with deathly significance deeds of theirs previously passed over. Benefits of the doubt are now no longer.

Where did our grace go?

Suddenly we're living in a world of self-condemnation - "How can I think such things?" We're merely falling into the cesspool of hellish escape - a place we never contemplated might exist for us. But now it's here, showing in a theatre right in the middle of town!


Fear is a tyrant with few mercies of design. She takes no prisoners and will not be left wanting.

But she just as easily runs away at the right insistence. This is not a controlling aggression, or a vacuous bluff, but a forthright mounting courage to be true in the persistent realm of truth.

This partner of ours is probably desperate in their want of the relationship - just like we may be. With significance of effort there's evidence of commitment - a love that will just not go away!

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time


Such forthrightness - and at a means, together - is the will to get through this period, for whatever reason it comes, so the best of times can be enjoyed later.

Times of dissonance, anxiety and fear for what is 'now lost' are countered by a change of focus, by one or both partners, and certainly by those afflicted with fear for the relationship's demise.

The focus sways from stories of tragic break-ups, messy divorces, and children's lives wrecked because of them, to stories of victory against the odds. These are the victories of grittily hanging in there... through thick and thin, one day at a time until the tunnel's light beckons resplendently through at the other side.
Both views are equally real; the positive more worthy than the negative.

One is attached to death, the other, life.

The real victory is the commitment of two people to stay when it would be understandable, or at least easier, to leave. It's the fact that a risky choice is made - against the temporal forlornness of joy - to endure. The gospel secret is lived. Blessed doubly are the couple in Job-chapter-42 fashion, eventually.

We can just imagine the depth of trust, and the wealth of respect, that's forged from such a collective modus operandi. But not fully until the other side's reached and well past.

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Saving a dead marriage sounds like it could be a difficult task for you and your spouse to take on, but just making some small changes in your lives could make a world of difference. Before you start, you must both make sure you are on board with whatever route you decide to take. If you are not both on board the efforts that one of you are putting in will be fruitless, unproductive, and downright frustrating. Once you have both decided that you are up to the challenge of saving your dead marriage, then here are some simple steps that you can take.

1. Break out of your routines.

Humans are creatures of habit, just like anything else in this universe, we are going to take the path of least resistance; this happens in marriage as well. After a while we fall into our routines that feel comfortable and breaking these routines is extremely difficult. Make it a point to do something different with your spouse this week. It doesn't have to be expensive or cost any money, just change your habit. Who knows, once you do, you may find a hobby that both of you enjoy which will enable you to spend more time together.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

2. Spend time bonding.

Wives, this one is for you. I'm not talking about bonding and sharing like you would with your girlfriends, I'm talking about spending some guy time with your husband. If he's watching a football game, then sit down and watch the game with him. Make sure you are watching like one of his guy friends would do. Don't interrupt during a big play, don't talk about plans for the future, just sit and watch. Then, when the game is over, don't just jump right up and say "It's my turn now." Make sure he knows that there are no strings attached to the time you are spending together while bonding.

3. Make her feel wanted.

I just gave a tip for the women, so this one is for the husband. Make your wife feel like you still want her. Grab her butt while she's walking through to the kitchen, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, or even go as far as dragging her to the bedroom. The fact that you still think she's attractive will help her feel like she did when you were first dating and will go a long way in helping the progress you two are making.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

In the olden days it was the called "the arrangement" which referred to a married couple that no longer wished to be married in the true sense of the word staying together for security and often deeply religious reasons. It was generally kept very hush-hush as it was not the done thing back then to let people know your personal business.

Today due to vast Internet coverage couples who are separated but living in the same house are truly outed and many are sharing their experiences with others thinking of taking the same path.

Even the critics of this living arrangement are showing signs of mellowing as they realize that for many it can be a necessity for survival.

Old days or new living together without love and intimacy turns a couple into friends or roommates. What was acceptable and workable before may not be now.

A new kind of independence can emerge as each partner takes on his or her new role. Changes could be made concerning everyday household chores, payment of bills and time spent with the children.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

It is literally a brand new day and a couple can map out any version of their new arrangement they prefer. The trick is to work together keeping all communication civil and respectful.

Set up some boundaries and make it clear what you expect from each other in regard to personal privacy, sleeping arrangements and access to all parts of the house. This could prove difficult if there was no boundary setting in the marriage and may have been the cause of the breakdown. By setting up new rules that each partner agrees too a couple that are separated but living together in the same house may have their first taste of what it is like to respect another person's boundaries.

If one partner is still emotionally invested in the marriage the separation could be very painful for them. Because couples have let go of the marriage and the pressure that went with it they have time to work through things. There have been cases of couples who have put marriage back together because all that was needed was a little time out. If this is not likely to happen a partner harboring all this hope could find himself or herself trapped in a living arrangement that is a constant reminder of what they have lost.

It is always better if a couple are amicable about their separation as then they can both focus on making it work.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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