My Wife Is Leaving Because I Lost My Job: Marriage On The Rocks Since You Lost Your Job

Let's face the reality of life in America today: 1 out of every 10 Americans is currently unemployed. We have not seen a figure like that in many of our lifetimes. Millions of married couples now find themselves in serious financial difficulty which has put the marriage on the rocks. Do you fall into this large group of people who are currently facing a bleak job market with no immediate prospects for employment? There are some things you can do to not only get your financial situation in order, but save your marriage as well.

Most unhappy marriages have a lot of underlying tension that is lurking beneath the surface. Often times, the couple is vaguely aware that it exists, but they just kind of go along living their lives with these tensions and resentments grow. Throw in a huge tidal wave like a job loss in a bleak job market and the underlying problems become magnified and suddenly the couple finds themselves in crisis mode. Usually the spouse who lost the job is now on the receiving end of the resentment and anger from their partner. Here are 4 things you can do to save your marriage and get your life back in order:

1. You and your spouse should work together to develop a financial strategy. It is a good idea to schedule an appointment with a financial advisor for this. By developing this plan together, you and your spouse will face less tension and feel more confident because you are in it together.

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2. Start your job search immediately. Resist the urge to lay around the house in your underwear feeling sorry for yourself. No doubt you are feeling pretty lousy right now but you need to stay strong and confident. Get up at the same time as you did when you were working, maybe even earlier. Shower and put on business casual attire even if you aren't leaving the house that day. You will be more productive and your spouse will also see how committed you are to finding work.

3. Many people are embarrassed or ashamed when they lose their jobs and so they don't want to tell anyone. Tell EVERYONE! Networking is critical to finding a job, especially when there are not many jobs out there. The more people who know that you are looking for a job the better your chances are of finding one.

4. Take care of yourself, both physically and spiritually. You've got more free time on your hands now, so why not spend some of that time concentrating on a healthy diet and exercise regimen? You want to portray the image to a prospective employer that you are healthy, strong and confident. Also, don't underestimate the importance of spiritual fitness as well. Whether you pray, meditate, do yoga, or attend church, you can transform your life with a fit spiritual condition.

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As you go through the varied seasons of your married life from newlyweds, to beginning a family, to raising a family, to empty nest, the amount of time and energy you have to devote to keeping your marriage relationship strong varies as well.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could invest only 10 minutes a day in your marriage relationship and keep it strong? Well keep reading for the 10 minute secret.

As married life moves into a routine, it's easy to develop some "innocent" habits that can be detrimental to the health, growth and strength of our marriages.

Just like you need a balanced diet to keep you body healthy; you need a balance in your life to keep your marriage relationship healthy.

I find it interesting that of couples that my husband I and know, there is usually one spouse who is a night owl and the other is an early bird. This may not seem like a big deal until you consider that if you have children, the majority of your personal time with your spouse is after the kids all go to bed.

Once all the kids are down, I, like most women, then spend about an hour "finishing".

Finishing the laundry, the dishes, the whatever only got half done that day. Then I'm ready for bed. (Yes, I'm the early bird in our family) However, my husband is just getting his second wind for the day and is ready to watch a movie, play a card game, talk, or is frisky.

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If the night owl tries to encourage the early bird to join in, the early bird will comply occasionally, but their internal clock will prevent them from participating on a regular basis.

This can become frustrating to the night owl and can be viewed as rejection rather than an internal clock disparity. Even if the night owl realizes the internal clock disparity, there isn't an opportunity for their relationship to be strengthened.

The frustration can easily result in a habit of having the night owl watch late night talk shows, read, play electronic games or surf the Internet while the early bird is catching a few "z's".

You may think that the best solution is to work on having the night owl or early bird change their internal clock by changing their sleeping patterns for a few weeks, then they will be 'healed' of their internal clock disparity.

It's possible to change the internal clock of newborn babies who commonly have their days and nights mixed up. But it's VERY difficult to do with someone who has had this internal clock in place for decades. Plus, they have come to enjoy the time zone they are in and use either their late nights or early mornings to accomplish things of importance for them.

Here is a real easy solution that will surprise the early bird, and bring relief to the night owl and strengthen the marriage.

If you're the night owl, here's how it works, when the early bird goes to bed, the night owl follows them and lays on top of the covers beside their spouse. (no frisky business just yet) The night owl then just talks, not about the current "honey do list".

Talk about your feelings of the day (okay guys, I know you can do this). Talk about your feelings of joy, disappointments, or challenges. Tell your spouse what it is you love about them and connect on a deeper level.

Only stay for 10 minutes, kiss the early bird good night and leave. Now the early bird will have a perplexed look on their face, but just grin and enjoy the secret for a few nights.

If you're the early bird, before you go to bed, go sit down by the night owl and tell them you have something you want to talk about. If they are already in the midst of their late night routine, convince them that it will only be 10 minutes away from their task at hand.

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Then start talking about your feelings of joy, disappointments, or challenges. Tell your spouse what it is you love about them and connect on a deeper level.

After the promised 10 minutes is up, kiss the night owl good night and go to bed. As previously mentioned with the early bird, the night owl will probably have a perplexed look on their face.

After a few nights of applying the 10-minute secret, share with your spouse how you had realized that you weren't having time each night to really communicate and you'ld like to keep doing this. I predict, they will gladly continue the 10-minute secret.

This 10 minutes is great for the early bird, they are more than happy to give up 10 minutes of sleep for their relationship. It's also great for the night owl because they have now had some connecting time with their spouse, and don't feel frustration as they go about their night owl routine.

After a few nights of really talking, you'll be surprised at the new feelings that will come into your marriage relationship. As this 10 minute habit continues, you'll be amazed at the the continued depth of your relationship.

As a side note, it really takes more than 10 minutes a day to keep your marriage strong. It's critical that you also include a weekly date night and a couple of weekend get aways a year. Don't forget to "communicate" during other times of the day as well.

This 10-minute secret is really meant to help the night owls and early birds be sure they have time each day to really connect.

If by some chance of fate, you and your spouse don't have a disparity in your internal clock and are both night owls or early birds, you can still benefit from this 10-minute secret. Just be sure you end your day with 10 minutes of truly connecting with your spouse.

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Part of a very fulfilling life is making mistakes and learning from them. There is no such thing as a perfect life where you bask in peace and happiness each and every moment each and every day. Somewhere along the way, you will encounter problems and crisis. That is part of life and of growing up. And being in a relationship as a couple, there are things you must remember when it comes to dealing with a relationship crisis.

First of all, a relationship crisis roots from a lot of factors. The sooner you understand these factors, the better chances you have of solving the problem. That is why it is important that you know yourself, your partner, and the kind of relationship you have. It will be easier to know and distinguish just where the crisis' roots are coming from.

One of the causes of such is poor communication or a total lack of communication. Communication is probably the most usual thing we do every day, aside from breathing. Now couples may get into trouble when they do not talk about their feelings.

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With the advanced technology that we are enjoying nowadays, we are offered with different mediums to communicate. Yet conflict still arises because we do not or we fail to let our partners know what is troubling us. Whatever is trouble us may seem like nothing but it is going to have an effect on your relationship. We must take turns to speak and listen.

Furthermore, you must enrich your relationship by having the same interests. Physical attraction is one thing, but sharing a common habit or activity is another. Relationships work well when people involved in it does something together they both enjoy. It is also best to try new things together. When you do the same things over and over again, you can get bored with the activity and may even get bored with each other. Try to spice it up a little bit and try something that you both have not tried before.

Infidelity is a common problem among couples. But one thing to remember is that it occurs for a reason. It could spring from a one-night stand, or a relationship that grew over the course of time. It is also common for unfaithful partners to say that they were searching for something else that they cannot find from their partners. They are often unappreciated, taken for granted or depressed. However, remember that infidelity can be avoided.

Indifference could just be a perception, or a truth. However, indifference can create a large gap among couples. Like infidelity, there are a lot of reasons for indifference. It could be that one of them is bored, or has problems he wants to face alone. When indifference grows, it can break a relationship.

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You're probably reading this article looking for divorce advice for men somewhere along the lines of don't sign anything, or keep all correspondence, or don't bad mouth your wife. Well, if you are, you might want to click on another article because the divorce advice for men I have in mind has nothing to do with the do's and don'ts of going through a divorce. Instead, I'm here to advise you not to divorce, and I have five darn good reasons you should pay heed to, namely --

1. Divorced men die younger
The statistics show that you will not live as long as a guy who's been married to the same woman all his life.

2. They earn less
Divorced men have lower annual incomes than their peers, and are less likely to be promoted to senior executive positions.

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3. They are more likely to have depression or mental issues
Again, more divorced men have depression and other mental health issues than do married ones.

4. More divorce men commit suicide
The suicide numbers are higher among divorced people than married folks.

5. The children of divorced couples do badly in school, struggle with depression and with future relationships
Your kids will also suffer. Research conducted show that kids with divorced parents don't do as well in school and will struggle more with mental health issues and their future relationships and marriage.

I apologize if this isn't the kind of advice you were looking for but I hope you can see it's much better. Rather than searching for the typical divorce advice for men, why not look for marriage help books or websites to help you get your marriage back on track and ensure that your life will be happier, longer and more worth living.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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