Recently, I joined a group of women to journal, meditate and share about our intentions for the New Year. It was suggested that we come up with one or two words to describe our deepest intention underlying all of our desired outcomes. The words that I chose were…“Joyful Creation.” More than anything, I desire to create from a deep place of joy. Inevitably areas of my life where I have not been creating from joy have quickly been revealed to me.

One such area is in my personal relationships when I put others needs before my own, or when I go along with what they want/need and don’t stand up for myself because I fear hurting or disappointing them. As a result, I give my personal power away. My vital life force energy becomes drained, like a battery slowly dying and I am left feeling angry and resentful. This way of relating is based on fear - fear of not being approved of, of not being loved, of being rejected or criticized. Sometimes, it feels easier to not stand up for myself and thus not rock the boat. Many of us were taught to avoid conflict at all costs. But, when we relate in this way, a part of us dies inside. Our energy to create joyfully is drained.

According to studies, about 85% of our life satisfaction comes from our relationships and only 15% from our accomplishments. So, our relationships are potentially our greatest gift and source of joy if we can remain true to ourselves in them. Setting strong boundaries to protect our time, energy and personal power is one way we can remain true to ourselves. Another is by surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive people who believe in us. Relating from a place of personal empowerment instead of fear, our vital life force energy is strengthened and fortified and we are able to experience a deeper sense of satisfaction in all of our relationships.

I invite you to take an inventory of your relationships. Which ones support you being who you are and living up to your fullest potential? Which ones drain your energy? If you feel drained in any of your relationships, maybe you need to stand up for your self and set stronger boundaries with that person. Or, maybe you need to disengage from the relationship. If you are unsure what you need, take time to go within for clarity and trust your inner guidance.

Only in loving, honoring, trusting and respecting ourselves can we truly create from a place of joy in our lives.

“That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.”
- William J. H. Boetcker

Author's Bio: 

Karen Mehringer, MA is the author of Sail Into Your Dreams: 8 Steps to Living a More Purposeful Life, a speaker, psychotherapist and grief counselor. She offers powerful solutions for healing grief and living fully through private sessions and group events. If you frequently find yourself feeling tired, depressed and stuck in your life, you may be experiencing unresolved grief. If you are ready to experience more joy, vitality and purpose in your life, call or e-mail Karen today to schedule a FREE 30-minute phone consultation to determine if her services are a good fit for you at (831) 359-2441 or For more useful information about this topic and to receive a FREE report on How to Heal Your Grief and Move on with Your Life, go to: