​When it comes to developing self-awareness, it could be said that it is not possible for this to happen directly. But this is not to say that one has to do something that is completely unrelated.

For example, if one entered a room that had a certain smell, it might only be a matter of time before they get used to the smell. Therefore, unless they leave the room, it is going to be harder for them to know what the room smells like.


This is because the smell would have become normal overtime, and this means that it is not going to have the same impact. Similarly, if one has experienced life in a certain way for a while, they are soon going to get used to it.

As a result of this, it might no longer stand out, and this can then cause one to experience problems. A certain area of their life might not be going as they would like it to go, but it can be a complete mystery as to why this is.

A New Perspective

So just like one would need to leave a room to gain a better understanding of what it smelt like; it will be important for one to do something different in order to change their perspective. However, although leaving one room and going into another will be enough for them to become aware of the smell, the same approach is unlikely work in this case.

If one as to go into another room or into another environment, for instance, there is a strong chance that they will end up experiencing life in the same way. One could have another experience that ends up supporting the outlook that they already have.


Having said that, this can all depend on how open one is, and if they are able to detach from what is taking place externally and internally. If they can do this, it will be easier for them to see what is happening.

But without this ability, the whole experience could just cause one to react, and they could end up experiencing even more pain. The main thing is that one has the desire to increase their self-awareness.


If they were to blame other people when it comes to why things are happening in their life, or to feel like a victim, it might be easier in the short-term. Yet in the long-term, this is going to be something that will cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

The pain that one will experience through facing themselves will pale in comparison to the pain they will experience if they avoid themselves. It will be the difference between a life of short-term pain, long-term gain and a life of short-term gain, long-term pain.


One way for one to increase their self-awareness will be to read books that cover the area that they are struggling with. For instance, if one always attracts a certain type of people into their life and they cause them problems, it will be important for them to read up on relationships.

It is often said that one’s childhood plays a big part in the kind of people they are attracted to, and as a result this; one might also need to read up about this area too. Through doing this, one will gradually be able to change their perspective and to detach from what is taking place within them.

Stepping Back

When something is pointed out and one has the chance to see it for the first time, they can take a step back. Their self-awareness has increased and they no longer need to experience their life in the same way.

Before this took place, one wouldn’t have been aware of it, and this is why it had such a strong effect on their life. And once one is aware of one thing, their will soon be something else for them to be aware of.
A Process

While one might want to be aware of everything, this is not going to be possible. They will only be able to be aware of so much at any given moment; but providing they keep going, their self-awareness is likely to increase.
Once one is aware of something, the next step will be for them to do something about what they are aware of. On one hand, this may mean that they will have to change their behaviour, and on the other hand, this may be a sign that they have some kind of emotional work to do.


Through increasing their self-awareness, they can have a new perspective as to why someone would enter their life. This is not to say that they will want to be around people who irritate them; but instead of seeing them as the problem, they can ask themselves why they are in their life.

While this could relate to someone who they want to avoid, it could also relate to someone they enjoying being around. In this case, it is not going to be something that is black and white.

Positive Thinking

However, if one has been reading up on positive thinking, they may have come to believe that they need to stay away from people who have a ‘negative’ effect on their life. Being around people who press their bottoms, so to speak, is going to be seen as something they need to avoid.

Now, this is not to say that one should go and find themselves an abusive relationship in order to increase their self-awareness. What it comes down to is if one has ‘negative’ reaction around someone, they can use it to their advantage.

‘Kill the Messenger’

If one was to remove everyone from their life who caused them to feel uncomfortable, it would be the same thing as ‘killing the messenger’. As a result of this, they can end up trying to avoid anyone who will play a part in them coming into contact with the parts of themselves that they are out of touch with.

Another approach would be for one to look into why someone would come into their life, or why someone in their life would have a ‘negative’ effect on them. From here, the other person can be seen as someone who has a part to play in their personal evolution.


One can be reactive and avoid someone who is ‘negative’, or they can ask themselves why the other person is having this effect on them. Once they have become aware of what is taking place within them and worked through it, their life may soon change.

They may find that they no longer have the same experience, and if they do, it might not have the same effect on them. The assistance of a therapist and/or a support group may be needed here.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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