The discovery of infidelity is like an earthquake destroying a building; it rips a strong foundation right out from under your feet and replaces it with a tarnished version of what you once knew.

It completely removes all stability you had, demolishes your self-esteem and confidence and shatters any faith that you have in yourself as a partner.

You will begin questioning whether you are attractive enough, good enough, intelligent enough, and perhaps where you went wrong.

These self-doubts are the cornerstone of the anxiety and insecurities that you will feel but, please know that you can rebuild yourself and heal from insecurity after infidelity.

In this article, we are going to take you through some self-care routines and tips that you can use to overcome this painful chapter of your life, regardless of whether you choose to stay with your partner or choose to move on.

Tip Number One: Remember You Are Not Alone

One of the major by-products of finding out that you have been cheated on is the feeling of extreme isolation, rejection, and loneliness.

The key with this is understanding that you are not alone and that millions of individuals are going through the exact same feelings you are.

This isn’t meant to devalue or degrade the feelings that you are having but to remind you that there are others out there who are going through the same motions you are.

With this said, it may be pertinent to reach out to some support groups that have formed for individuals who are dealing with insecurity after infidelity.

Tip Number Two: Tackle That Inner Critic

Everyone has an inner dialogue that is brutal, nasty, and self-loathing, to the point where it will constantly provide you with negative background noise that will prevent you from moving forward.

Unfortunately, many individuals have become so accustomed to this negative self-talk that they are unable to silence it.

However, if you want to deal with your insecurity after infidelity, you will need to take back control of your self-esteem by silencing out that inner critic.

To do this, make a concentrated effort to focus on the positive aspects of your life. If you’ve worked hard, reward yourself. Always put the mental demon back into its place so that you do not spiral out of control.

Tip Number Three: Do Not Take on Responsibility For Their Actions

In the vast majority of infidelity cases, the actual cheating had nothing to actually do with the faithful partner.

Understand that when you desperately search yourself for answers and state that you could have “acted better” or “had more money”, you are just damaging your self-esteem more.

Stand back and understand that the responsibility solely relies on the unfaithful partner that chose to act as such and that you are not worth anything less because of it.

Tip Number Four: Give Yourself Time Because It’s Necessary

One of the first things we want to do is solve everything to get rid of the intense pain that we feel from the infidelity.

This is where it is important to remember that for those first few weeks or months, the pain is going to be tremendous and that you need time to heal.

The devastation, destruction, and anguish you feel now, will only feel like a twinge later down the road. Trust in yourself that, in time, you will be able to recover slowly and that the pain will fade.

Tip Number Five: Engage in Self-Love

This goes hand-in-hand with not taking responsibility for your unfaithful partner’s actions. After being cheated on, it can be very easy to fall into negative self-talk or imagining faults that you do not actually have.

You might begin to think that your hips are too large, or your hair is too curly or that your cooking isn’t good enough or your weight is far too much.

This is called disillusionment and is self-destructive because it makes you suddenly feel more insecure about yourself. This is where you need to give yourself some room to breathe and not crack down so hard on yourself.

One of the ways to get beyond insecurity after infidelity is by realizing your own beauty and that it or a lack thereof is not the catalyst for your unfaithful partner’s actions.

Tip Number Six: Find The Courage to do Something Different

One way to build up your self-esteem and get rid of the insecurity after infidelity is to engage in activities that require you to try something new.

Although you will need a little bit of bravery and courage to do so, the reward and satisfaction can lift your self-confidence levels to new heights.

Start small by wearing a bold color shirt to work that you wouldn’t normally wear or go out of your way to start a conversation with someone.

Try changing your hair color, signing up for a new hobby or class, or take yourself out to dinner and a movie alone. By doing these things, you will be able to become more in-tune with yourself which will help you beat the insecurity.

Author's Bio: 

C Mellie Smith specializes in providing her readers with tools and resources to help them overcome the pain and uncertainty when one partner cheats. Don't let an affair end the most important relationship you have ever had. Get the help you need by to feel secure again. Visit: