How are your relationships working for you?

When it comes to relationship goals, here we find some of the most intricate challenges. Unlike most of your goals which involve yourself and inanimate objects or subjects such as your living quarters, your career, your money, your material items such as cars, clothes, your education, etc., relationship goals involve (shhhhh) other people.

We can't control other people and we can't set goals for other people. Horrors, what's a person to do?!

I have this little rock that sits on my desk and written on it are the words "everything is a mirror". Huh? Simply said, it means that everything you say and do in your interactions with others is reflected back at you by the behavior and actions of those people. Even the thoughts you think about them reflect back to you something about yourself.

Let's add another level. All those other goals you have on your attraction list will have something to do with other people at one time or another. Yikes, does that mean relationship goals rank very high on the list of importance? You bet your sweet dropped jaw it does!

So, once again, how are your relationships working for you? And this means the clerk at the till in the supermarket to the car salesman to the person asking for a dollar to eat, to your children, to their teacher, to your significant other and on and on. Every person you interact with has a relationship with you. Here's a not too well kept secret... you get back what you give.

I don't care what kind of a day you are having, if you want a smile, a hug, some understanding or a "white sport coat and a pink carnation" (remember that song??), first ya gotta give one! Now, I don't know where you are gonna dig up that white sport coat, but pink carnations are a-plenty. You know that I wasn't literal on the coat and the flower, but it is a symbol.

A Taker you can't be, if not a Giver first, you see

That being said, I will now share with you some not so new, but tried and true (Sheesh, the poet IS coming out in me today!) keys to better relationships whether they be for a lifetime or a few moments.

Praise. Yes, there is nothing like sincere praise to puff out a chest or cause a blush. Both signs of a great feeling. You are forever linked to that emotion in that person's mind. DB never fails to thank me and praise my dinner making efforts, even if it's a Lean Cuisine once in a while! Do you think I don't make some extra effort in that preparation knowing his appreciation? Does a blind raise!

Feel, Felt, Found: This response to complaining or whining, whether at home or at work, sets the complainers mind to think and their mouth to still. eg: Complainer: "Dad, you never let me have the car! I really need to go to Jerry's". Response: "Son, I know how you feel, I felt the same way when my dad set boundaries on my use of his car, but I found that when I really thought about it I really did have lots of time with the car, I just needed to plan a bit better around the allotted times I could use it." You can have a lot of fun with this one and a good imagination.

I acknowledge: People just really need to know that you have heard them whether you agree or not. Once they have stated their position, if you disagree, respond with " I acknowledge your position, my position is......... Don't replace the word 'acknowledge' with 'understand', but you can play with the words a bit. eg: "I acknowledge what you just said, it does have merit, now my position is........"

Have some fun with these today. Give what you want to get, and above all, s-m-i-l-e!

Make it a goal.

Author's Bio: 

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Lynn Moore is a Life Clarity Coach whose specialized niche is coaching goals out of those who are stuck in the attempt. Her system is unlike any other and combined with her innate sense of clarity, quirky sense of humor, and love of people she will get you from your bottom line to the apex of achievement in record time. Lynn can be reached at and you can visit her website at