Although someone is the owner of their own body and mind, it doesn’t mean that they will know this at the core of their being. At this level, they can see themselves as nothing more than an object that other people have control over.

They are then going to have their own body and mind but it will be as if they don’t own them as other people will typically define what they do and don’t do. However, while living in this way is not going to serve them, it could just be what is normal.

A Way of Life

If so, how they experience life is going to cause them to suffer but they are unlikely to be consciously aware of what is going on. This doesn’t mean that they won’t often feel angry, frustrated and helpless, though.

Yet, even if they often experience these feelings as well as others, they are not going to take the next step and do something about their life. Deep down, they could believe that this is just how life is and that there is absolutely nothing that they can do.

One Scenario

So, when it comes to their relationships, they could have a number of people in their life who have no sense of where they themselves begin and end and where others begin and end. Being walked over and going along with things that are not in alignment with who they are and are harmful can then be the rule as opposed to the exception.

If they are in an intimate relationship, they might have often been forced to do things that they didn’t want to do. It might not occur to their partner that they don’t have the right to do whatever they want.

Soaking it Up

Clearly, in order for their life to change, they will need to draw the line and to start asserting themselves. The trouble is that if they don’t believe that they can do anything about what is going on, this is unlikely to take place at this point in time.

It will seem as if their only option is to continue tolerating what is going on and to perhaps hope that their life will change. If only they knew that they didn’t need to live this way, their life could gradually change.

Stepping Back

If someone who does have a strong sense of self-sovereignty was to observe this person’s behaviour, they could wonder what is going on. They could say that they just need to stand their ground.

However, even if one was to hear this, it might not have much of an impact on their life. If they were to merely think about reclaiming ownership of their being and asserting themselves, they could experience a fair amount of fear and anxiety and even terror.

A lot of Resistance

Behaving in the same way is going to cause them to continue to suffer but they won’t be able to change their behaviour. What this will illustrate is that protecting themselves feels unsafe, whilst being harmed feels safe.

If this was to enter their mind, they would wonder why behaving in a way that is so destructive feels safe. What this may show is that their developmental years were anything but nurturing.

A Brutal Time

Throughout his stage of their life, they may have been violated on a regular basis by one or both of their parents. Perhaps they were verbally and physically harmed, in addition to being neglected.

It then wouldn’t have occurred to one or both of their parents that they were a separate human being who had worth and their own needs and feelings. Instead, they would have simply been seen as an object that they had complete dominion over and was there to serve their needs.


Most likely, one or both of their parents was also brought up in the same way and ended up going from the victim to the perpetrator. As they were treated like an object that others had ownership over and ended up identifying with their abuser, they did to another what was done to them.

This shows that they didn’t, for whatever reason, work through any of their wounds and behaved, like their parent/s before them, in an unconscious manner. When it comes to this type of parenting, it can be seen as a consequence of what happens when a parent is very narcissistic on one hand and very low on empathy on the other.

It’s Finished

Now, during this stage of their life, they felt powerless and helpless as they were powerless and helpless. They lived in an environment that wasn’t safe or secure and this would have stopped them from being able to develop a felt sense of safety and security and to be in their body and to know, at the core of their being, that they owned themselves.

Moreover, they wouldn’t have been able to develop a felt sense of worth, deserving or lovability. Fortunately, this stage of their life is now over, so they can change their life.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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