While success can mean different things to different people, there are also different reasons as to why someone would want to be successful. And what makes them want to be successful can not only have a big impact on whether they are able to achieve what they want to achieve, it can also define whether what they want to achieve will end up being fulfilling.

A Common Approach

One approach is for one to think about what they want to achieve and then to work towards it. This may involve writing out a plan or they might just have a clear idea in their mind.

After taking action and this may have been something they did for a matter of months or even years, they may end up achieving what they want to achieve. They might end up feeling incredibly satisfied, and after reflecting on how hard they have worked, they might feel as though it was all worth the effort.


If they were to come across someone who wanted advice about how to achieve something, they may tell them to do the same thing as what they did. By being clear about what they want and through putting the work in, they will soon achieve their desired outcome.

They could then follow their advice and do what they can to move towards their desired outcome, and while it may take a while, they may soon get there. In this case, they are going to be pleased that they listened to the other person’s advice.

The Right Attitude

And along with being told that they need to have clear idea about what they want to achieve, they may also have heard that it is important for them to have the right attitude. This could be seen as something that will be a key factor in whether they will able to experience success.

If they haven’t heard this before, it may cause them to ask why this is important, and this may result in one being told that their external reality is influenced by their internal reality. Therefore, through maintaining an inner image, it will only be a matter of time before that inner image starts to materialise in the outside world.

Another Outcome

Although one can decide what they want to achieve and then end up feeling fulfilled through achieving it, this might not be what takes place. Instead, one could end up achieving something that has no effect on them whatsoever.

They could end up wondering why they feel the way they do, and while they might take the time to reflect on what has taken place, they might end up having the need to achieve something else. This could then be way for them to finally feel fulfilled, and while this might work, there is also the chance that they will end up in the same position.


However, they might not even get this far, and this could be because it is not possible for them to move forward. Or if they do manage to progress, they may find that they soon end up where they began.

It can then feel as though they have one hand on what they want and just as they are about to grab it with their other hand, it gets taken away. This can then cause them to feel like a victim and as though something ‘out there’ doesn’t want them to succeed.


While one can focus on what they want to achieve and then do everything they can to achieve it, they can also look into why they want to achieve something. This will then give them the chance to find out why they want to achieve something.

On one side, one can have the need to achieve something because its part of their need to express who they are, and on the other, side, it can be a way for them to avoid how they feel. When it’s based on their need to express themselves, they are going to enjoy the process of achieving something, and they are not going to be consumed by the end result.


This is also likely to mean that they are not trying to avoid how they feel, and through not being attached to the outcome, it is likely to be easier for them to achieve success. The energy they are giving off is coming from a place of non-attachment, and this means they are not coming from a place of desperation or lack.

One’s life is being influenced by how they feel, and even though they can ignore what is taking place within them, it doesn’t mean the universe will. This is why it will be easier for one to attract what they want to attract when they are coming from the right place.


However, when one is trying to avoid how they feel, they are likely to have a strong attachment to what they want to achieve. They are then coming from a place of desperation and lack, and this is going to make it even harder for them to experience success.

The universe is going to respond to how they feel, and this means they are likely to come up against all kinds of unnecessary obstacles. And if their main priority is to avoid how they feel, it won’t matter if they are able to achieve something, and this is because what they achieve is unlikely to match up with their true needs or their ‘hearts calling’.

A Closer Look

When one is carrying toxic shame, for instance, it can set them up to become a human doing, and this means they are going of feel as though they need to justly their own existence. Through carrying this, one is going to feel as though they are worthless, and one way for them to feel different is to achieve success.

But as they feel flawed, it won’t matter what they achieve, and it is not going to be possible for them to work towards what really matters to them. Based on their outlook, they are not enough and achieving success is then a way for them to prove that they are enough.


In order for one to get in touch with what really matters, it is going to be important for them to work through the pain that is within them. Through working through this pain, they will give themselves the chance to achieve the things that actually match up with who they are.

The toxic shame within them may be the result of what took place during their childhood years, and through facing the emotional charge within them, the charge will begin to discharge. They may also have unmet childhood needs to mourn, and these are things that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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