Do you find that hard as you try you seem to be stuck in the same place? That it seems like you’ve tried it all, work hard at it, are pooped and yet nothing is different? Unfortunately, this is the story of most partners, the ones that give a hoot anyway. The rest have resigned themselves to living contentedly in ignorant bliss missing out on the potential inherent in their partnership. Either one of these suck in my book.

I don’t concern myself with the peeps that are content. It’s their choice to live mediocre lives and survive their relationship. To each their own. I do concern myself with the other lot. They are my peeps. They are the partners I live and work for. They are the partners I’m on this earth to assist, guide and inspire. I know those peeps intimately… I know it is a struggle day-in and day-out to Be our Authentic Self and Be in Relationship. I know what it’s like to grow and heal in relationship. I know what it’s like to make difficult choices, to live outside the box, to explore new frontiers and push the envelop all in the name of owning our Selves and creating an awesome life and relationship.

So, I ask that you hang in there. There is a reason you are in this place. There is something you are supposed to be learning. Some part that still needs healing. Some code that still needs cracking. Mine has been being vulnerable, trusting, letting go and allowing help… I know I can’t do it alone… I know it takes two Partners to have a relationship… (don’t laugh, or judge). I now Know a lot more… I’m a therapist and relationship expert, but I’m still human… It takes courage to own not being perfect, and to remove the perfection mask… It’s actually pretty liberating…

What is your mask? What is your lesson? What is your code to crack? What is really going on for you? Dig deep and see if you can see it? What is your vulnerability? What is your week spot? What is the trigger, wound? What are you protecting against? What is the message about your Self, alone and in relationship, that has been renting space in your head? It’s time to stop all this. It’s time to evict the fear monster and victim mentality, mindset. Are you with me??

I understand if you are hesitant and scared. It makes sense to me that it’s difficult to imagine something different that doesn’t include quitting and starting over. Believe me I get it. Leaving in this place makes it difficult to see what is beyond, to see the possibilities. I ask that you have little faith, courage, patience, open-mindedness and willingness to go the extra mile, on foot! Yes, you’d be out of your comfort zone. Yes, without a doubt you will question if you are on the right path. Yes, there will be moments when you want to throw out the baby with the bath water. But through all this, I ask that you stay in faith and open for it is here that the magic takes place… I know what lies on the other side. And, it is pretty awesome… We can get there together. I can show you the way, if you let me.

Here is how we get started: Take a risk… (hold the sighing, or huffing and puffing!) Push through the fear… This can take many forms: Deciding not to leave the relationship, even if just for now. Deciding to continue to invest wholeheartedly regardless of what you get in return, for now. Showing your partner you are all in, that you believe in them. Staying strong even when your partner wavers, not jumping on the misery and reactivity wagon. Extending clean invitations for connection. Doing loving and nurturing gestures. Creating and enjoying fun moments.

Pending on the status of your relationship and stage of investment, you will have different reactions to the above. Regardless, take what resonates and take one immediate related action today. When you start pushing the envelop, pushing through fear, taking a risk, interactions and dynamics start realigning, the relationship starts to shift, you feel awesome… For some this experience is slow in coming (because they are still very guarded). For most initially, it’s up and down until this is their new norm. I ask that you trust the process and Be in it. The more you allow your energy to flow, the more fluid, flexible and open-minded you are (not guarded, defended, and full of Ego), the smoother this is and the quicker you’ll find yourself on the other side…

Take that risk, mindfully push through the door of fear, and you’ll find yourself on the other side… It is that simple to start getting results… Try it today!

Complete the MetroRelationship™ Assignment below to help you effortlessly implement this, make changes and immediately start experiencing your awesome relationship, and Authentic Life…

Happy Risking!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Choose an item that has been a sore spot between you and your partner. One where you don’t see eye-to-eye, have a difference of opinion, haven’t been able to compromise on, has been taboo to bring up, has you walking on eggshells, or has resulted in fights. Think about what would happen if you let go of your position, if you get your Ego out of the way… What would happen if you weren’t so invested in your position? For what is our position anyway…? What would happen if you detached from the meaning of letting go of your position…? For this is Ego driven and a protection… What would happen if we took this risk, and just let go…? Think about it… How will you be different…? How will you be free…? How will you be empowered…? How will you become available…? What would happen if you got and honored your partner’s perspective? What would happen if you genuinely showed this to your partner…? Can you muster the courage and take the risk? Can you deal with being out of your comfort zone? Can you receive the awesomeness that follows…? Put safety and support in place, then go for it! Add this to your Tool Kit…

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. We help couples create a radiant and authentic relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™.