When was the last time that you blamed someone for what they did and it worked for you?
As we watch our current chosen leaders the only thing that seems to be consistent is the fact that each side accuses the other of wrong doing. This reminds me of watching my children in grade school.
When we were in the fifth grade, the only choice we had to get our point across and stay out of trouble was to blame the other side.
It worked well for my brother when we were growing up, each time he did something that was inappropriate, the only tool he had was to blame me. For him it worked because my mother never doubted what he had to say. Some families have the “golden child,” in my family it was my brother. What actually takes place is that when something works for us, we continue to repeat the same pattern.
Our lives are formed and lived with a series of repeated beliefs, behaviors, patterns and habits. As individuals we never change what works until or unless at some point our choice stops working. Then we have to consider another way of believing or behaving.
As children we model our parents even when we do not like what they do, it is the only role model that we have. This continues throughout our life with our choices and how we create our values and our morals.
I know that for me, my choice for a life partner was based on the role model of my mother. My father died when I was fourteen so there was not a lot of time to model his patterns and behaviors. However, one thing I learned very well from my mother was that the world, according to her, was a very simple black and white world. It was either her way of doing or it was wrong. There never was a middle ground. I knew from the start that I wanted to be different, I did everything I knew to be “not” like her. I wanted to find people in my life that viewed the world with multiple colors, lots of choices and perspectives.
I found a man that I thought was more like what I had envisioned than what I knew. I think many of us follow this type of reasoning. What I was completely unaware of however, were the unconscious beliefs, patterns and behaviors that were deeply embedded in my psyche. Consequently, I chose what was familiar to me. Like it or not we tend to choose what is comfortable and familiar to us; I chose someone who was more of a missing father and more of a true black/white thinker than I knew. My husband was 16 years older and he definitely had beliefs, patterns and behaviors that were akin to my mother’s.
As an example, this was in 1971 and I being a product of the 60’s, an era of definite change in our America youth’s ways of life, had my own views and wanted to work. I always had worked, I am what some have called a workaholic. However, my husband, being of a different mind-set believed that women from his family background did not work. I was not one of the stay-at-home barefoot and pregnant type of women. This was the very beginning of a long and deep learning curve for me. What it was for him I can only surmise was complete discomfort and unrest.
Because each of us was steeped in our own beliefs, patterns and habits it became much easier to blame the other one for our turbulence and unhappiness. While my marriage continued on for 15 years, the road to happiness only got dimmer.
Over the last few decades of my life I have had many opportunities to reconsider how I view my life and my choices. I have come to know that as much as we want to change and alter our beliefs and patterns, they are steeped in deep and long held habits. At some point in our life, each of us consider what is important. What do we actually believe and hold to be true for ourselves?
When I teach a class on Ethics, for instance, I always ask my participants what do they believe for themselves. Do you go to the same church as your parents because that is how you were raised, or is what that particular religion preaches actually true for you, deep in your Soul and your own true knowing? What morals and values do you hold as fact and non-negotiable for you? Is it absolutely impetrative that those in your world are honest? Is it OK for those in your life to tell lies? Most of my class would say it is never OK to be dishonest, yet for some it is OK to lie; they don’t view it the same as being dishonest. Are you of the same political party because your family has “always” been a…
I ask if it is OK in their world, their circle of influence, for people to steal? For some it is OK if it is just a little thing, for others never steal a thing; and yet we have people all of the time stealing our ideas, our beliefs and getting away with it. Why, because it is easier for them to blame the other guy than to stand up for their own morals and values. The excuse we give its that is has always been done this way. It is our tradition!
For centuries it has been the norm to steal a woman’s or child’s virginity and self-respect. It was considered “normal” because women and children were possessions; women and children were property. For many of us globally this continues because it is once again tradition. Some actually believe it is spiritual and based in their beliefs.
What I know for sure is that we are in a time of crisis. Each of us is at a point in our life where we must choose for ourselves what we think, how we believe, what our values and our morals are. There is no right or wrong in your choice; you simply choose what is right for you in your Soul knowing.
We are living in a time where the world as we once knew it is disintegrating before our very eyes. I know this because I watch it every day in the actions of those in power and who we chose as our leaders. The fighting and the squabbling get louder because it is how it has always been done. For some reason the more we blame the other side, the more correct we are. The louder we get the more accurate it is. Like children, we resort to what we remember as ways that worked for us as children; but it doesn’t work because the blame game is dying along with our old traditions. As humans we cannot stay the same. It is the anthesis of who we are as Soul.
Religion teaches us that we are humans with a soul experience; that as humans we each have a soul. This my friends, is also the anthesis of truth. Each of us is Soul a Divine Loving, Creative and Joyful expression of perfection. Each of us was gifted with the greatest and most powerful gift imaginable. We each have FREE WILL. We each are free to create our own life according to our self. Never is there a Divine Energy that will tell us what is right or wrong, it simply never existed and never will. Our gift of free will and creativity is how we are fashioned. We are created out of Diving Love, an unconditional all expressing, all consuming love that is everything, everywhere. We are created of Compassion, a Divine Wisdom that says we each have the compassion and soul-knowing to do and to be what is in right order for our self. We are created from the Joy of the greatest energy of Divine Love because that is all the Godhead energy who created each of us knows, pure joy. Each Soul is a co-creator Being a living, breathing expression of perfection. In this perfection we are all issued one direct edict. DO NO HARM.
It was the first edict issued by the Godhead energy and the Godhead Council of 12 Masters who are responsible for this universe that we inhabit. This, my dear brothers and sisters is who each of us are. Divine Energetic Co-Creator Beings with the Divine Love of all that is. There are no mistakes, no failures, no one to blame because each of us has the free will to create our life according to what is in divine right order for each of us.
We are now remembering who we are and all of the fighting and the discord that is prevalent in our world today is how we as humans are choosing to lay down and dissolve the past world of having to have more, be more and claim power over another. This was the old third domain world we created to learn what power and more was like. What was it like to live apart from Soul-Truth and Soul-Knowing? What was it like to have humans declare that some were more powerful, more important, deserved more or are more loved and accepted by our Creator that others? We are done with that now. There is no one to blame and the blame game is over. There is a Universal Supply in the energy of Divine Love and no one is left behind or without, it is impossible. This is true Soul Living and when you quiet yourself and listen to the voice within, you too will know it.
Now we are in the new fifth domain; a world being created by each of us based in the truth of Divine Love, Divine Compassion and Divine Joy in a world where there is never harm to another living expression of life. We have for eons asked for a world of peace, first we have to release, dissolve, the old ways before we can create what we choose. That is the way of it. My question to each of you is are you ready to reclaim yourself? Are you ready to lay down the past and live in the new world that we are creating together?

© 2019. Jane F. Cundy. All rights reserved

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Jane Cundy has been a facilitator and instructor for over twenty-five years and has had the privilege of presenting to members from the: Native American Tribes and Nations. She has also taught Spanish, Chinese, Russian, and Anglo participants. Clientele also include private industry, non-profits and governmental agencies.

She is a Master of Neuro-Linguistics, International Mediator, Certified Master Negotiator and Doctor of Divinity.She is also a registered and certified business Coach. These skills combine to create an atmosphere of safety, openness, individual importance, listening and hearing for honest communication, focus of direction and collaboration. Dr. Jane’s clients always complete their process by obtaining mutual resolution.

In May 2006, Dr. Cundy was the luncheon speaker for the New Mexico NAICC Economic Summit in Albuquerque.

In October 2002, Dr. Cundy was invited to speak at the 3rd Annual China-U.S. Conference on Women’s Issues in Beijing. Most recently she has been invited to present at both Western Regional Conferences in the non-profit arena as a keynote speaker and at National Conventions within private industry by presenting workshops and as a keynote speaker.

She has served the greater New Mexico business community for twenty years as a keynote speaker, consultant, business coach, trainer, and facilitator. She was the Hearing Officer for Sandoval County’s administrative and employee disputes and served in that position for fourteen years.

Dr. Jane has authored four books that are self-published; “Lessons of the Rose…Six Steps to Personal Empowerment,” “Building Your Business is Like Eating an Elephant…You Do It One Bite at a Time Workbook,” “Your Coffee Break for the Brain” and most recently “Spiritual Insight…7 Sisters, 7 Continents and 7 Lessons.” The last two books are available through Amazon.com and on Kindle.