Forgiveness is oftentimes misunderstood and difficult to put into action. For some, when another offends or betrays them, moving beyond the anger and the need to get even can feel impossible.

Forgiveness is a conscious choice to let go of all anger, pain, bitterness, and negative feelings associated with a particular individual or incident. It allows for human imperfection by recognizing that it is impossible for any of us to journey through life without ever hurting or offending another. Even those who are kind, thoughtful, and polite have moments of poor judgment when they unintentionally inflict pain and suffering on others. Forgiveness allows us to move beyond the incident rather than remain tethered to it for eternity.

"Forgiveness replaces judgment and anger with understanding and compassion."*

Imagine for a moment suffering a painful injury such as a broken bone. With the proper medical treatment, the wound will heal, the pain will cease, and the bone actually becomes stronger at the site of the fracture. One can recall in vivid detail the incident but they no longer suffer any residual pain. They have experienced a complete healing. So it is with forgiveness but on an emotional and spiritual level. One remembers what occurred but no longer feels the emotions. What remains in its place is an acceptance of what has happened and a sense of peace. One can forgive without forgetting.

So why, then, do some refuse to forgive? They mistakenly believe that to do so negates the seriousness of the incident (it doesn't) or that it gives license for the offender to repeat the wrongdoing (one can set boundaries). For others, holding on to the anger gives them a sense of power and control over the other party ("I'll never forgive you for what you did to me!"), inflicting guilt and shame on them. Some use this as a form of manipulation. I once heard it said that to not forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You only hurt yourself.

Imagine what it would feel like to actually forgive someone who you are holding a grudge against? Imagine being comfortable with what has transpired (even though you may not be happy about it), taking back control of your happiness, and restoring inner peace and serenity? In truth, forgiveness is the path to inner peace. Be at peace. You have suffered enough.

"To forgive is to allow for human imperfection without thoughts of judgment or retaliation."**

For more, read "I'll Never Ever Forgive Again!" @

*The Great Truth by Janet Pfeiffer
** by Janet Pfeiffer

Author's Bio: 

Janet Pfeiffer, international inspirational speaker and award-winning author has appeared on CNN, Lifetime, ABC News, The 700 Club, NBC News, Fox News, The Harvest Show, Celebration, TruTV and much more. She’s been a guest on over 100 top radio shows, is a contributor to Ebru Today TV and hosts her own radio show, Anger 911, on
Janet has spoken at the United Nations, Notre Dame University (for the NACSDC National Conference), has served as committee member and keynote speaker for the YWCA National Week Without Violence Campaign, and is a member of the National Police Suicide Foundation and past board member for the World Addiction Foundation.
She is a former columnist for the Daily Record and has been a contributing writer to Woman’s World Magazine, Living Solo Magazine, Prime Woman Magazine and N.J. Family. Her name has appeared in print more than 100 million times, including The Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post, Fusion, Alaska Business Monthly and more than 50 other publications.
Janet has authored 8 books, including the highly acclaimed The Secret Side of Anger (endorsed by NY Times bestselling author, Dr. Bernie Siegel). Her latest work, The Great Truth: Shattering Life’s Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life’s Sole Purpose is also endorsed by Dr. Bernie Siegel and NY Times bestselling author, Marci Shimoff.
A consultant to corporations including AT&T, U.S. Army, U.S. Postal Service and Hoffman-LaRoche, Janet is NJ State certified in domestic violence, an instructor at a battered women’s shelter and founder of The Antidote to Anger Group. She specializes in healing anger and conflict and creating inner peace.

Janet is a member of several speaker’s bureaus and professional networking organizations. She can be found on Facebook, twitter, Linkedin, Referral Key and Pinterest. She writes a weekly blog and bi monthly online newsletter.