One of my most valuable teachers has been my seat belt.

We’ve all had the experience of getting into the car and finding when we attempt to draw the seatbelt across our lap, the locking mechanism inside won’t allow the seat belt to move. This happened to me one morning many years ago when our kids were still little. Like most of life’s powerful lessons, this one came at a moment when I was feeling emotionally spent and teetering on burnout. (The universe has a sick sense of humor!) I remember feeling more stressed than usual, ready to explode with the slightest provocation, but trying to keep it together. (Mothers of small children I think you may have an idea what I’m talking about.) We were running late, so I was impatiently herding the children into the car, yelling at them to hurry, hurry, hurry. I jump into the drivers seat and use my left hand to grab the seat belt from above my left shoulder, only to find it won’t move more than 2 inches. It’s stuck…frozen…unwilling to budge.

Given my already frazzled mental state, I’m in no mood for the seat belt to toy with my emotions. So of course I do what any sane, balanced, adult would do…I fight with the seat belt. I yank and tug and pull harder and harder, committed to not being outsmarted by a strap of canvas. (Too late!) Not surprisingly, the action of repeatedly jerking in this way looks a lot like the “Psycho” stabbing thing people to indicate some one has lost it. That probably wasn’t far from the truth in my case. I’m pretty sure that way my kids were thinking: “Mom’s lost it!”

Somehow, I suddenly became aware of how I must look embroiled in a death match with a seat belt! I took a deep breath, and let go of the seat belt. I let go of the struggle. Guess what the seat belt did? It didn’t yell at me or call me names. It didn’t attack me or flip me off. It just gently retracted back into the mechanism as if nothing had happened.
I tried the seat belt again, and wouldn’t you know it, this time it glided smoothly across my waist and clicked into place.

I had to smile at the simple genius of the lesson the seat belt taught me that day. The metaphor of this experience mirrors all the ways we can find ourselves in power struggles that complicate our lives and make us feel and act a little “psycho.” The truly amazing thing is that often the thing we’re struggling against doesn’t even care that much. You may be in a one-way tug of war, battling yourself into exhaustion. The universe will let you battle away against your own metaphorical seat belt, patiently waiting for you to let go.

The seat belt is a metaphor for all the things we choose to battle against. The battles can be virtuous – Poverty. Injustice. Cancer. Grief. Pain. Addiction. Loss. The battles can be trivial – Getting “your way.” Convincing others you’re “right.” Being “in control.” Who did or didn’t bring the right thing to the pot luck. Does your kid’s outfit match. Whether or not the house is spotless. All things related to coddling the ego. They can be important and/or necessary – Husband. Wife. Partner. Ex-spouse. Kids. Mom. Dad. Sister. Brother. Some underlying feeling that life is working against you. Friends. The grumpy cashier at the grocery store. Rude drivers. Co-workers. Your Boss. Money. Career. That voice inside your head that says you’re not quite good enough.

No matter what it is you’re choosing to wage war with, the lesson remains the same. The key to finding peace with the moment is to take a deep breath…and LET GO!!! Surrender to the moment. Stop trying to control it all. Detach from the outcome. Don’t be a martyr. Choose to approach the situation with love rather than fear. Connect to your Source. Trust that you’re not alone to handle the struggle. There is limitless love, abundance, peace and wellness in the universe…we just have to tap into it.

Just like the seat belt story, when you finally, FINALLY choose to take a deep breath and let go, do you know what happens? CLICK! Things start to click into place. Make the choice to let go of your battles and make room for the abundance and peace the universe has waiting for you.

Author's Bio: 

Stephanie Owens, founder and creator of the Better Boundaries, Better Life System is dedicated to bringing products and services to busy, purpose-driven women attempting to juggle work, family and their own (rediculously ) high expectations. She provides step-by-step guidance to help her clients on their journey to create the life they were born to live.

She developed the “Better Boundaries, Better Life” system to show busy women the keys to unlocking a life that honors their talents, passions and purpose by ridding themselves of the disease to please. Her free audio, Stop Being So Hard On Yourself!: Ten Secrets to Become Happier & More Productive, is available at This amazing audio introduces listeners to the key concepts and actions steps they need to launch their ideal life right away.

Stephanie teaches clients how to rid themselves of the disease to please, and create Better Boundaries and a Better Life with tons of compassion and an occasional kick in the butt. She offers private coaching, as well as engaging seminars and classes. Stephanie is also author of No Is The New Yes!: How to Say No, Set Better Boundaries & Reclaim Your Joy.

A small business owner for over a decade, Stephanie, blends her experience in the business world with her training as a marriage & family therapist in her work with other entrepreneurs. She privately coaches small business owners, helping them get out of their own way by adopting the mindset habits of highly successful people.

Stephanie lives a peaceful, happy life with her husband and two children in Puyallup, Washington.