How do you keep up with this highly competitive and rapidly changing world and manage your stress levels and stay healthy …and look for Mr or Ms Right at the same time?

Well from my observations at a typical suburban nightclub recently, lots of you are not doing very well!
The obvious signal of high stress/low health is the pall of cigarette smoke that hovers over the whole place
and the full ashtrays and bar-gutters and the dirty floor. I stood next to one guy who chain-smoked for an hour and I counted 10 cigarettes - just think…if he was there till stumps at 3am, that means he’d have smoked 40 cigarettes in a night. And it’s probable that the mixed drink he had wasn’t just coke and if he had only one of those an hour his blood-alcohol would have been over the limit. If he hadn’t “scored” on top of that, imagine what a grumpy, depressive and potentially explosive driver he would have been on the way home!

No wonder we have road rage nowadays - it starts with all those singles who over-did it on the weekend.
And it doesn’t have to be that night of course - it’d take at least 2 days for the body to recover from that sort of damage, so our friend is a walking time-bomb for that long until his body detoxifies and he returns to the mild-mannered executive that he really is. (Please note - I’m not being sexist with my example - of course she could just have easily been a lady!)

Let’s look at how the singles scene rates for stress in terms of the 10 strategies I cover in my keynote presentation entitled “10 Sure-fire strategies for realistic stress reduction, easy stress-management and maximal good health”.

The first strategy asks you to rate your satisfaction, success and stress over the four categories of experience -
your thoughts, your feelings, your body and your behaviours.

Most singles swing from highs to lows with the first two, depending on their night’s outcome.

The body is sure given a stress test - especially if they’re at the night-club scene second time round after a broken marriage. (Isn’t it ironic that the same folk who used to go to bed on a Friday night at 10.30 are just getting ready to go out? What does that do to your bio-rhythms?)
And behaviours…that same executive who is responsible in their top-level job can do the craziest things on the big night out - from over-drinking and smoking to having un-safe sex in the back seat of a car with someone they’ve just met!

The second strategy asks you to think positive, optimistic thoughts.

Well the truth is, the most positively thinking single can still find themselves going home alone at the end of a long hard night. Here’s where you have to be an optimistic and realistic thinker.

The pessimist thinks in black and white - I’m ugly, all men are jerks, and there’s no-one out there for me.
The optimist accepts that sometimes it’s hard to meet someone, there are lots of good men out there, and those available men are probably thinking the same thing about their chances of meeting a good woman.
(What’s that old saying…a hard man is good to find?)

The third strategy is to cope with your negative feelings. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re lonely again, and don’t wallow in your depression. (It is OK though, to admit that you’re disappointed that you didn’t have a good time and you spent another 60 bucks and all you got to show for it is a hangover).

The fourth strategy is to take care of your body - Limit your CATS (caffeine, alcohol, tobacco and sugar intake) - Yes…I’m talking to you!Set yourself some limits for goodness sake - aim to have no more than 3 drinks and one coffee.As a reformed smoker and stress-management consultant I can’t allow you any ciggies -
after all, you want to meet someone intelligent …and it’s impossible to smoke and be intelligent at the same time!

The good news is that you can overdose on dancing - get that aerobic exercise you need at the same time you’re cruising for the sex that you also need to manage your stress. Now that’s called time management! That’s your fifth strategy!

The sixth strategy is planning. Single parents need to plan and program their environment to support their health. It’d be crazy to go out till 4am when you’re expecting the kids to be dropped off at 8am.
Save the big night for the weekend you’re all alone and have a recovery day next day.
And the non-parent fitness freaks have to watch it too…dont’t head off to the gym after 4 hours sleep with a hangover..or worse still, attempt the local fun run. Dehydration and collapse is not a good look!

The seventh strategy is to understand personalities. Well we can all be experts at that after the third drink can’t we? It’s been said that “ Some people drink to make ugly people look beautiful and others drink to make dumb people appear intelligent”. You can sure see a lot of that out at the singles clubs.

The eighth strategy is to regularly pamper yourself - make time just for you and do things that give you space, pleasure and joy. Well you can combine singles life with pampering in your preparations so that you go out all mellow and smelling gorgeous after your bubble bath, hair-do and facial…and now let me recommend something for the ladies…that’s a joke for the guys! I hope you get it?

The nineth strategy is to have a sense of purpose. The question one asks is “what gets me up in the mornings? What drives me to seek my best and give my best?” Well for the community and planet, your purpose could be to help prevent pollution.So why not keep the same purpose when you go out to clubs. Who’s game to start a drug-free adult nightclub?

I guess that the absolutely best stress-management strategy for singles though is Number 10 -
keep your sense of humour.Have fun when you get out there. Let go of your goal-orientation to meet “the one” and see it as just a good night out. Be present in the moment.
Treat each person that you meet as someone who is just like you -really worthwhile and interesting -
(not desperate and interested in just one thing - unless of course, you’re like that???).

Above all else - HAVE FUN!

Be like the angels and birds - how is it that they can fly?…because they take themselves lightly!

Remember singles serenity is an “inside job”.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Janet Hall is a psychologist, hypnotherapist, sex therapist, author, professional speaker, trainer, and media consultant. Jan consults regularly with print media and is a frequent guest on talk-back radio and current affairs shows.
Jan was a regular for two years on the Sex Life television program in Australia.

Her user-friendly strategies offer practical solutions to sexual and relationship issues so that you can have the love and the sensational sex that you deserve. Jan has a unique ability to encourage people to clarify their situation and solve their own problems with both heart (trusting intuition and feelings) and head (with logical analysis and rational prioritization). She believes that people deserve to feel empowered and allow themselves to be the best they can for the good of all. Jan has a happy knack of making psychology user friendly.

Dr Janet Hall