Conflict: two forces in opposition. Resolution: the process of finding a mutually satisfying solution. There's nothing threatening here yet for many they'd rather have a root canal rather than try to resolve a dispute. They either seek a quick departure or prepare themselves for an ugly battle. But conflict can be a very beneficial and productive force in any relationship if you have the proper skills and motives.

Too often when we begin the process we have one goal in mind - to find a solution to whatever the issue is. But somewhere along the way we become sidetracked with ideas of winning, getting what we want even at the expense of the other party. Other times our objective is to prove the other party wrong in an attempt to bolster our own self-image while simultaneously making them feel poorly about themselves. Furthermore, we mistakenly believe that because there are two opposing ideas one is automatically right and the other wrong. That notion is incorrect. Conflict is simply a matter of a difference of needs, opinions, or beliefs and very often has nothing at all to do with right or wrong.

Here are six simple strategies to smooth the process of conflict resolution called the SO-What Method:
SO: be Solution Oriented. Ask, "What happened? What needs to be done to resolve this situation?"

1. Always remember to attack the problem, not the person. Be respectful at all times.
2. Find common ground, a sameness, a link that bonds you to one another.
3. Approach as allies, not adversaries. Work together for the good of the whole.
4. Pay careful attention to your Attitude and Approach. Refrain from making inflammatory statements such as "What's your problem?" Or, "This is all your fault."
5. Choose a neutral location, one where both parties are on an equal playing field.
6. Know when to stop and take a break. Only issues of a life-threatening nature need to be resolved at that precise moment. Everything else can wait for a more suitable time.

In each scenario, we have the option to be part of the problem or part of the solution. SO-What? Be Solution Oriented. What can you do to resolve this situation to the satisfaction of all parties? It can be done with a few simple techniques and a thoughtful motive.

For more, read "Never Ever Ask This Question" @ and "M & M's: Motive and Method @

Order your copy of The Secret Side of Anger and The Great Truth @

Author's Bio: 

Janet Pfeiffer, international inspirational speaker and award-winning author has appeared on CNN, Lifetime, ABC News, The 700 Club, NBC News, Fox News, The Harvest Show, Celebration, TruTV and many others. She’s been a guest on over 100 top radio shows (including Fox News Radio), is a contributor to Ebru Today TV and hosts her own radio show, Anger 911, on
Janet's spoken at the United Nations, Notre Dame University, was a keynote speaker for the YWCA National Week Without Violence Campaign, and is a past board member for the World Addiction Foundation.
She's a former columnist for the Daily Record and contributing writer to Woman’s World Magazine, Living Solo, Prime Woman Magazine, and N.J. Family. Her name has appeared in print more than 100 million times, including The Wall Street Journal, Huffington Post, Alaska Business Monthly and more than 50 other publications.
A consultant to corporations including AT&T, U.S. Army, U.S. Postal Service, and Hoffman-LaRoche, Janet is N.J. State certified in domestic violence, an instructor at a battered women's shelter, and founder of The Antidote to Anger Group. She specializes in healing anger and conflict and creating inner peace and writes a weekly blog and bi-monthly newsletter.
Janet has authored 8 books, including the highly acclaimed The Secret Side of Anger (endorsed by NY Times bestselling author, Dr. Bernie Siegel).
Read what Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author, says of Janet's latest book, The Great Truth; Shattering Life's Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life's Sole Purpose:
"Janet dispels the lies and misconceptions many people have lived by and outlines a practical path to an extraordinary life beyond suffering. Written with honesty, clarity, sincerity, and humor, this book serves as a wonderful guide for anyone seeking a more enriching and fulfilling life.”
Dr. Bernie Siegel says, "All books of wisdom are meant to be read more than once. The Great Truth is one such book."