When one loses their spouse, a top life stressor, the level of stress experienced can feel extremely overwhelming to the griever.

Modern life is filled with stress. And this stress occurs on many different levels. There are the daily stresses of life which are often ignored as trivial. These are things like getting stuck in traffic, noise pollution, lack of sleep, car problems.

There can also be deeper causes of stress like excessive worrying, health concerns, fear of poverty, negative self talk, to name a few.

Grievers and their support system often forget about all these other life stressors which are often piled on top of the grief loss stress. The lack of acknowledgement of this layered effect of stress often leads to feelings of complete overwhelm and helplessness for the griever.

During these difficult economic times, many grievers have been forced to move after the loss of their spouse. This move is most often related to the financial stress experienced by survivors after their loss. Their income may have drastically decreased and there is no way to keep up with the present mortgage or rent.

While this move may be necessary for financial reasons, it is often the last thing the griever wants or needs to do.

The griever's support system can take on heightened importance at this time.

The griever has lost the love of their life and now they are losing the stability of their home environment. Their support system may in fact need to take on the role of "home" for the griever who is feeling so lost and displaced.

The support system and the griever also need to be aware of how overwhelming the so-called normal stressors of life can become during this time of anguished displacement.

It is important for the griever to accept the fact that the daily grind of life can become overwhelming, especially if a move is involved.

The support system will only be as helpful as they are willing to be sensitive to the overwhelming impact that moving can have on the overall life of the griever.

It is really all about being open to the extreme vulnerability of early grief, which does require an honest acknowledgement of each person's vulnerability to the stressors and the stress of life. This acknowledgement will help the support system to be really present for the griever from the place of the compassionate heart.

What I mean is that home is where one usually feels a sense of sanctuary, a place that feels safe. These are emotions that we humans often attribute to our physical home. And in my opinion a support system can fulfill this emotional need for those who are grieving both the loss of their spouse and the loss of their home.

Author's Bio: 

Sandy Clendenen is the author of Move Beyond Grief, An Interactive Journal.
She also writes two blogs about aspects of the grief process. You can find the Journal at: http://www.movebeyondgriefjournal.com.

Her blog containing interviews with grievers who are moving forward in their life after loss is: http://www.movebeyondgriefjournal.blogspot.com
Her blog containing chapters of her grief memoir is found at: