THINK YOUR TOUGH?

THINK YOUR TOUGH?
Real Tough People Show Feelings
Alex Karras was a hard nosed football player. In his day, if you looked up “tough” in a dictionary you might have found his picture. Alex on “tough”:

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
--Alex Karras

In our culture, being a man often means being tough and not showing feelings. We were taught that “big boys don’t cry, and I’ve learned many women live by the same code. I think I grew up with a song whose key line was “laughing on the outside, crying on the inside”. (Funny Little Clown).

We realize in the process of life recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.

When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. We need to learn from others other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men (and women) know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life. They know how to truly feel and externalize feelings.
I don’t know how many people who have told me how tough they are and stuff their feelings inside or even more sadly, can’t even identify feelings, crack big time. Is that being tough? Are they tough or “sick”? Toughness, as Karras states, is soul and spirit and a mature mind.

As a former jock and “tough” guy who always kept the stiff upper lip, I’m glad this recovery thing has taught me about feelings and has given me tools to deal with them in a healthy way. My wife tells me I now show a “feminine” side and times. Please don’t ever tell her, but I like it!
Want to talk about this or other issues. I’m here!