Transforming Childhood

The details related to our childhood, and things that we’ve experienced in the past, are still very much running in our subconscious minds. Our childhood memories are affecting how we are living our lives today. As children, we may have fallen out of the bed or down a flight of stairs. Or perhaps we fell off our bicycle or fell off the jungle-gym. For most of us, skinned knees and bruised elbows were things we managed to get through. The physical wound quickly healed although our judgments related to these past incidents remain long after these occurrences took place. As adults, we are still looking to correct our past injuries in the ways that we’ve adopted from childhood. We don’t realize that the special mommy or daddy treatment in having them “kiss the boo-boo” bye-bye, getting a smiley-faced band-aid, or a cookie (or other special treat) is still something we are seeking today. Without realizing it, we are still seeking to get approval or love in the ways we received as children. The better the reward, the more we want to recapture that experience. In thinking something or others can fix us, is creating a cycle of dependency and dissatisfaction. We are creating and re-creating the same dramas in our lives today as adults, and still hoping to be rescued and rewarded.

In actuality, the kiss or cookie didn’t fix the situation. Whatever we decided, is how we were rewarded or punished. In adulthood, we are still trying to overcome the past by looking to others to kiss (of fix) the so-called boo-boos. Some of us still are using the reward system from childhood. As adults we now realize that smiley-faced band-aids and a cookie are no longer soothing. Actually these things kept us repeating the same types of dramas so we could get approval. So as grown-ups and knowing the childhood rewards didn’t work, we moved from smiley-faced band-aids or cookies onto to things such as: food, sex, booze, gambling, etc.

By rewarding ourselves with things, we are further creating disharmony with our body and mind. We are creating issues of being overweight (other health challenges), in debt, and to some extent engaging in addictive tendencies, and dysfunctional relationships. We are acting in an extremely out-of-control manner by resorting to people and things in hopes of feeling better. These negative outlets, escape, and ineffective thinking cause us to experience unwanted results. When we reward or punish ourselves with things, we are covering up our underlying feelings. These unhealthy cycles continue until we decide to change our thinking and the patterns we are demonstrating.

By perpetuating out-of-control, anxious, and fearful tendencies, etc. in thinking or hoping that someone or something external to us can make us to feel better is keeping us stuck in unhealthy patterns. We are still trying to heal boo-boo’s and heartaches by using remedies based on what we learned long ago. We are still trying to change past events. We are continuing to hold onto the negative patterns, and hoping to get different results. We basically have similar problems, as to those we experienced as children, except on a larger scale. As adults, we are still trying to navigate our way through the sea of programs running in our subconscious minds. Furthermore, we are also trying to figure out what we are doing wrong. What we are doing wrong, is trying to resolve matters in the ways we learned as a child. Dear folks, please see that negative patterns aren’t capable of fixing what’s wrong. Please also see that trying to figure out, what to do, is a non-ending cycle. Childhood issues remain unresolved only because we never learned how to take responsibility for what we created. We also never learned how to love ourselves fully and completely so we turn to others.

For many of us, the coping skills we are using as adults are based on the skills we learned from our parents and family members. The manner to which our parents learned to cope is based on their lives with their parents. This cycle goes back to the beginning of time. As children, we listened to our parents and other adults, without questioning their beliefs, or even realizing we had beliefs of our own. The manner in which our parents or other family members reacted to situations, directly affects the way we handle situations today. If parents or adults were calm and rational during a crisis, perhaps our coping styles are similar. If our parent or another adult reacted in hysterical manner, chances are, we too may react in a similar way. Actually we use both strategies, at different times, based on our filters and the programs running. These limitations suggest, in part, why we are at times frustrated, confused and afraid. Most of us as children, on some level, were somewhat afraid of authority figures. We were also afraid of the rules and roles imposed on us by adults. For the most part, many of us are still relying on these limiting patterns because of not having learned other reliable skills.

The good news is we can now change how we feel about our childhood, past events, and other traumas. This choice offers us a unique way of looking at things in a different manner. By accepting that we can change how we feel about ourselves and the incidents that we previously experienced is the first step. This consideration will help you to acquire a new set of skills and be able to overcome negative patterns. By doing something different, you can easily and successfully overcome the challenges and frustrations related to your past circumstances. In truth, it’s time to move forward, as we are no longer children. You will be immediately and immensely grateful in finding an effective way in living life as an adult. Only you can decide to make a better life for yourself. Decide to today and give yourself permission to experience this course. You’ve waited long enough…