In today’s world, it could be said that one’s appearance is more important than it is has ever been, and this is a party the result of social media. One can feel the need to maintain a certain look not only in public, but also online.

In the past, one may have gone under the knife in order to create a different impression around the people they saw in thteir day-to-day life; nowadays, this is something that they can do to create the ‘right’ impression on social media. Through doing this, one is likely to believe that their ‘friends’ will give them a certain type of feedback.

No Time to Rest

One can then feel the need to maintain a certain image at all times, and it is going to be a challenge for them to just be themselves. They may also find that they need to maintain this image around the people they are closest to, and this could be a sign that they don’t feel comfortable expressing who they really true.

In this case, they are not going to wear a mask from time to time; they will always wear one. On one hand, this may allow them to fit in, but on the other hand, it is going to make it hard for them to feel connected to the people in their life.


When one feels connected to soemone, it is likely to come down to the fact that they are sharing themselves. While this is not to say that they will share everything; what it does mean is that they won’t be hiding everything.

How they present themselves will match up with who they are, and this will then allow them to feel connected to another person. If one was to put on an act, it is not going to be possible for them to experience intimacy.

The Need to Be Perfect

It could be said that the need to maintain a certain image at all comes is the result of the need to look perfect. However, as human beings are imperfect, it is not going to be possible for them to be perfect.

And the need to be perfect can arise when one feels as though they are deeply flawed; this outlook that can be a sign that one is carrying toxic shame. Through carrying toxic shame, one can end up going to the other extreme, and it is then going to be normal for them to want to be perfect.

Another Reason

Yet, even if one doesn’t have the need to be perfect, they can still have the need to look after their appearance. For instance, when one looks after how they look, it can be a sign that they value themselves.

And not only this, they are likely to have a greater chance of getting what they want in life. This is because one’s appearance has an effect on how other people respond to them, and this shows why one’s appearance is important.

From Birth

There are some people who are born with a physical appearance that makes their life a lot easier, and while this doesn’t mean that they always get what they want, it does increase their chances of getting what they want. They can end up being treated as though they are more important than others.

This is also something that one could experience after their early years, and this can be because their appearance has improved with age. Or it could be something that takes place after one has lost weight, for instance.

Both Genders

And although this is something that will benefit both genders, it could be said that it is something that will have a greater impact on women. For example, men are more visual than women, and this means that it is more important for a women to be attractive than it is for a man.

This is not to say that women are not interested in how a man looks; what it comes down to is that they are generally more concerned with how they feel in their presence. Therefore, there is greater pressure on women to look a certain way than there is for men.

An Example

It could also be said that attractive women benefit from the fact that there are plenty of men in positions of power. The men in these positions can often end up employing the women who have the ‘right’ appearance.

This doesn’t mean they will always overlook their qualifications and their previous experience; but it can give them the upper hand over the women who have the same qualifications and experience, but who are not as physically attractive. On one hand, this shows that life is not always fair, and on the other hand, it shows that human beings are often drawn to people who are physically attractive.

All Areas

However, if gender is put to one side, it is clear to see that one’s physical appearance can have an effect on every area of their life. So not only can it have an impact on how well they do in their career; it can also influence their love life.

It can also be the difference between one being acknowledged or ignored by others in a social environment. But like most things in life, being physically attractive has its down sides too.


When one is physically attractive, it is going to be relatively easy for them to receive positive feedback from others. Therefore, if they are out of touch with themselves, they might not have the need to get in touch with their true-self.

For instance, when one is out of touch with their true-self and they are experiencing pain, this pain can be the driving force that causes them to find their true-self. But if it is easy for one to receive positive feedback from others because of what they look like, they might not have the same need to face what is taking place within them

On The Surface

Instead, they can continue to live on the surface of themselves, and allow the feedback from others to regulate how they feel. This feedback could be so forthcoming that one’s true feelings are soon pushed out of their awareness.

In this case, the idea they have of themselves might not have anything to do with who they are; it could be a reflection of the ideas other people have of them. However, even though receiving positive feedback from others will give them an ego boost, it is unlikely to allow them to experience true fulfilment.

The true-self is something that can be covered up by emotional pain, and this can be the result of what has taken place during one’s adult years and what occurred during their childhood. One’s true feelings and needs can then be covered up, and their life can then be a reflection of their false-self.

When it comes to working through this emotional pain, one might need the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group. This emotional pain can be made up of unmet childhood needs and loss, and one way to let go of this pain is to cry it out.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

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