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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- HOW TO EFFORTLESSLY WIN WHEN ARGUING - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2017 from Janet PfeifferWouldn't it be wonderful if every time we disagreed with someone we could actually win when arguing? For many, disagreements are viewed as a battle of intelligence between two opposing forces. Each having what they believe to be a strong and valid position on a topic, they engage in verbal and ...
Views: 1482 - Finding Joy in Your Darkest Moments - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was fourteen, my godparents gave birth to a baby boy after twenty years of marriage. The most joyful day of their lives was shattered by the devastating news that their son had Down's Syndrome. Fifty years ago Downs was a death sentence and Robert was no exception. Three weeks later they ...
Views: 1480(1 vote) - Why Your Body Needs You to Forgive - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm blessed to have parents who, early-on in life, instilled in me the importance of forgiveness. "They didn't mean what they said." "Your friend is probably just having a bad day." My mom was, and still is, one who always saw the best in people and chose compassion over anger. So it has always ...
Views: 1476(1 vote) - Anger and Self-Pity: The Shortest Road to Misery - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI've never been one to feel sorry for myself. When bad things would happen in my life I never asked "why me?" I would, instead, inquire "why not me?" I learned early-on that bad things happen in everyone's life and I was not exempt so I developed a mindset of quiet self-resignation - I simply ...
Views: 1476 - Achieving Self-Compassion - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAt times, human beings can be incredibly compassionate towards one another. A family member going through a difficult time is encouraged to take extra care of themselves. A teen struggling with adolescent challenges is given support and encouragement. We offer our assistance to a neighbor who's ...
Views: 1473 - Who Needs Anger? - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEveryone - we all need anger. The most simple basic definition of anger is that it's an indication that we have unmet needs that have to be addressed, a sign that something is lacking in our lives that we want to satisfy. As with all emotions, anger is normal, useful, healthy, and necessary. ...
Views: 1470 - "THE 12 YEA'S OF CHRISTMAS: "GETTING ALONG WITH FAMILY DURING THE HOLIDAYS" - by Submitted on Nov 29, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIs world peace really possible? Maybe, but peace begins within, then extends into the home before it can reach global proportions. Sadly, the holidays, proclaimed the most wonderful time of the year, are more realistically the most stressful, bringing out the worst in people rather than the true ...
Views: 1469 - Part 3: Stress-Less Solutions - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI don't worry much. When an issue arises that cause me distress, my mind instantly begins searching for possible solutions. I wasn't always like this - it took years of awareness and effort but it has certainly paid off. Take this past week, for example. I use a service to heavily promote both ...
Views: 1469 - Aggression and Anger: the Human/Canine Connection - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been blessed in my life. I've had eighteen dogs, all of whom were sweet and loving. I've never had an aggressive dog with the exception of one - Huggy Bear. Huggy was a black Great Dane that came to us when he was just a pup. Big floppy ears, giant paws, and a single white spot on his chest ...
Views: 1468 - TEN TIPS TO DIFFUSE A VOLATILE SITUATION - by Submitted on May 17, 2017 from Janet PfeifferWe are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ...
Views: 1467 - Joe Frasier's Got Nothing On Me (Reactive Anger) - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI was an instructor at the Learning Annex in NY City for many years. Classes ended at 9 pm and the ride home was a long one. One evening, after teaching an anger management course for three hours, I pulled into my driveway around 11 pm, exhausted and anxious to crawl into bed. I pulled my car ...
Views: 1465 - Preventing Another Orlando Massacre - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2016 from Janet PfeifferLast week our country was shattered by yet another senseless massacre of innocent people. A gunman opened fire inside Pulse, a crowded gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, early Sunday morning, leaving at least 49 people dead in the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Gays have long been ...
Views: 1465 - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1463 - Five Steps to Inner Peace - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferOne of my favorite authors, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, once stated that "There is no way to peace. Peace is the way." This seemed rather contradictory to the common belief that a peaceful state of existence is a destination we arrive at after traversing the correct path. Wayne challenges us to ...
Views: 1462 - Anger: Incident or Issue? - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIn the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no ...
Views: 1461 - New Year - No Anger - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2014 from Janet PfeifferHere it is: the beginning of another new year. All around the globe people are making New Year's resolutions to lose weight, be happier, spend more quality time with their families and so on. I find it rather odd that in a world filled with anger and violence no one makes a declaration to "not ...
Views: 1459 - 3 Keys To an Anger-Free Life - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ...
Views: 1458 - Oh, Deer! - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent ...
Views: 1458 - Anger: The Bigger Picture - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ...
Views: 1457 - P~R~E ANGER: PREVENT, REDUCE, ELIMINATE - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2017 from Janet PfeifferYou've heard me say in previous shows that anger is a normal, healthy, and in many cases a useful emotion. While some may believe that the feeling itself is wrong or bad, it's not. It is the way we choose to express it and use it determines if it becomes a positive force in our lives to bring ...
Views: 1456 - How to Start and/or Stop and Argument - by Submitted on May 27, 2015 from Janet PfeifferBeing a part of any relationship for a period of time affords an individual the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn't with each respective person. I may be able to discuss politics with Uncle Joe but Aunt Sue? Never! He's open minded to other people's views and enjoys a lively debate. ...
Views: 1453 - Let Go (of) My Ego - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferI have a family member who has issues with me (Go figure!). We got along well our entire lives but many years ago, “C’s” attitude towards me changed dramatically and with no explanation. All communication between us ceased (“C’s” choice, not mine) and family get-togethers became extremely ...
Views: 1453(3 votes) - "S~T~A" Away From Anger - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI love creating simple strategies individuals can use to experience less anger or stress in their lives, to improve their communications skills, resolve conflicts easier or create inner peace. From the SWaT Strategy* to TECO Magic*, The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate* or the Seven C's of ...
Views: 1452 - Inspired Communication - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThe purpose of communication is so individuals can freely share their ideas, feelings, thoughts, and needs with one another as a means of better understanding themselves and the situation at hand. However it can present a unique set of challenges for several reasons: 1) As children we are not ...
Views: 1450 - HA-HA SORB APPROACH TO BULLIES - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2017 from Janet PfeifferPeople don't typically want to interact with those they consider to be bullies or tyrants. Yet contrary to popular belief, bullies are not bad people. It's their behaviors that are appalling. They act out their pain, loneliness, insecurities, and so on in the most offensive and unkind ways. But ...
Views: 1445 - Violence, 911, and War: There's a Better Way - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2013 from Janet PfeifferSince the beginning of time, wars have been fought in an effort to bring about peace. Have we accomplished that yet? Maybe violence isn't the answer. I am a peace lover. Not only do I promote peaceful coexistence but I also live peacefully with others. I do not argue or fight; I do not ...
Views: 1444 - How Your Anger Benefits Me - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2015 from Janet PfeifferYour anger can actually benefit me. That sounds a bit ludicrous, wouldn't you agree? Anger hurts the one experiencing it but how can it possibly work to my advantage? If you become angry with me, I might feel upset, disrespected, scared, or angry in return. On a deeper level those emotions can ...
Views: 1437 - Family Feuds, Quick Tips to Resolve Them - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFamilies: they can be our greatest source of joy or a never ending cause of stress. Some might like to have a few parts replaced, others may prefer to trade theirs in for a more suitable model. Some are grateful to have a family regardless while others would prefer to travel through life solo. ...
Views: 1437 - Anger and the 2 "F" Words - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Janet PfeifferNo, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those ...
Views: 1435 - Dealing With Insults Effectively - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2015 from Janet PfeifferMy husband is brutal: he teases and torments me unmercifully. But I'm just as bad. From the moment we wake up until we crawl exhausted into bed at the end of the day, we are constantly harassing one another. In fact, the first words out of his mouth as he opens his eyes at 5 am are "Are you ...
Views: 1428 - WHEN TO FIGHT AND WHEN TO NOT - by Submitted on May 10, 2017 from Janet PfeifferI'm not much of a fighter. When I was a child, my dad taught me that if someone hits you, hit them back but never be the one to throw the first punch. In essence, only fight back when you have to defend yourself. My mom's message was taken from Luke 6:29 and contradicted Dad's: "If someone slaps ...
Views: 1427 - The Surprising Cause of Stress, Part 1 - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2015 from Janet PfeifferToday is "tax day". For millions of American tax payers it is probably their least favorite time of the year, propelling them into a state of duress and anxiety. For a business owner such as myself the task of gathering all of my receipts and itemizing my expenses is time consuming and ...
Views: 1422 - Never Allow This To Happen To You! - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe're all influenced by those around us and by what is occurring in our lives. Something as simple as the weather can affect how we feel. A cloudy, rainy day can take an otherwise cheerful person and transform them into a gloomy Gus of sorts. Being stuck in traffic can alter one's mood from ...
Views: 1420 - Anger and Disease: the Connection and Remedies - by Submitted on May 07, 2016 from Janet PfeifferThere is no denying that the mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected. What impacts one affects all others. While the general public has become more health conscious in terms of eating healthier, dropping those unnecessary pounds, and exercising more, what often gets overlooked - that ...
Views: 1419 - When Silence Isn't Golden - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe're all familiar with the phrase "Silence is golden". This proverb dates as far back as ancient Egypt, making reference to the importance of keeping quiet under certain circumstances. The first example of it being used in English is credited to the poet Thomas Carlyle in 1831. Certainly there ...
Views: 1414 - ANGRY? GET OVER IT! - by Submitted on May 24, 2017 from Janet PfeifferToday my husband and I had our fifth fight. Not bad for a twenty year marriage but regardless, for an anger management professional such as myself, I didn't handle it very well. Actually, fight is not an accurate description as it was more like a huff, that is we got annoyed at each other. Let ...
Views: 1413 - Healthy Anger - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2015 from Janet PfeifferAnger is one of the most powerful yet misunderstood emotions we experience. On the one hand, it has become a form of entertainment on TV, video games, social media, and Youtube. Housewives from states across the nation screaming at one another and flipping tables are cheered on each week by ...
Views: 1412 - Why People Don't Get Along - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhy is it so difficult for us to get along with one another? After all, we all have the same basic needs in life. We all want to be valued, to be acknowledged for the good that we do, to be treated fairly and given sufficient opportunities in life; we all want to be accepted as we are and to be ...
Views: 1412 - Healing Anger and Abuse With Help From Beyond - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI was truly blessed: when my first husband and I married I acquired a second set of parents. I could not have loved "Bob" and "Mary" more and their fondness for me was generously reciprocated. For the eighteen years I was with their son, we were family. However, my husband's decision to end our ...
Views: 1410 - What the Bible Says About Anger - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2016 from Janet PfeifferDating back over 3500 years, the Bible began as a collection of oral stories handed down from generation to generation in the form of songs, narratives, and poetry. Eventually signs and symbols were utilized in a more permanent means of recording these stories until the written word became the ...
Views: 1407 - Fear or Faith; Anger or Peace? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was a child my dad would take all of us for a "Sunday drive". Mom, my sisters, and I would pile into his 1950's Chevy sedan with the green vinyl seat covers and off we'd go. I never knew where he was taking us or when we would arrive home. But two things I knew for sure: Dad would ...
Views: 1392 - WHEN ANGER MANAGEMENT DOESN'T WORK - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've been teaching anger management and conflict resolution for nearly a quarter of a century. What makes me so successful in my work is that I do not lecture on any subject matter that I haven't personally experienced and mastered. In that regard, people find me authentic and know that if I've ...
Views: 1387 - To Fight or Not to Fight? That is the Question - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDo you enjoy a good fight? I don't but I know some people who do. Regardless of who we are interacting with, differences of opinion, issues , and conflict will arise periodically. Some approach arguments with zest, others with great trepidation, and some avoid them at all costs. There are times ...
Views: 1386(1 vote) - "WHY" This Gets Rid of Anger - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2015 from Janet PfeifferIt doesn't take much for some people to get angry. For others, the process takes a bit longer. There must be certain criteria present before one is willing to relinquish their serenity. For those who fly off the handle rather quickly, there is a simple one word question they can ask before ...
Views: 1384 - "AR You Ready to Reduce Anger in Your Relationships?" - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRelationships are the most challenging aspect of life whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply, such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this: more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in part ...
Views: 1383 - IT'S NOT FAIR! - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1381 - From Once Upon a Time to Happily Ever After, Relationship Series, Part 1 - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer(First of 2 part series) Like the old song "Love and Marriage" says, the two simply go together. Yet with the divorce rate over 50%, the notion of happily ever after seems to be reserved for Disney movies. Some couples believe that as long as they love each other they will somehow find a way ...
Views: 1379(1 vote) - Lose Your Temper For Good! - by Submitted on May 11, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ...
Views: 1374(1 vote) - Adversity, Anger, and Awareness - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've never met anyone who didn't have to face adversity at some point in their lifetime. Whether in our personal relationships, professional lives, in regards to a health issue, academically or financially, hardships seem to be a standard component of life. Of late, many people have adopted ...
Views: 1370 - 3 Keys To an Anger-Free Life - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ...
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