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Articles from Jeanne King, Ph.D. | Selfgrowth.com
- Domestic Violence Prevention is the Cure - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.There are as many variations on this story as there are people living it. Yet there are a few common themes that present in most renditions of established intimate partner violence. These are: a) There may very well be a price when you leave. b) Getting to that point will likely involve a lot ...
Views: 1016 - Family Court Collateral: How Divorce Court Agents Feed on Maternal Instincts - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It’s no secret that our children are collateral in family court. So, why is it that when we turn to this institution of justice, do we expect it to serve and protect the interests of our children? My sense of this is our educated mind doesn’t really expect anything more than what we ...
Views: 1016 - Obstacles to Leaving an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear a lot about leaving an abusive relationship. Those on the outside say you must. Those on the inside know they ultimately will. And those responsible for the abuse say you can’t, shouldn’t and better not or else! What are the real obstacles to leaving an abusive ...
Views: 1278 - 7 Tips to Help Your Loved One in an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We often hear friend’s and family members of domestic abuse victims express frustration over their loved one’s choosing to remain in their abusive relationships. This is understandable. Question is how can they help the abused? In working with families over the years, I find the ...
Views: 906 - Domestic Abuse and Family - The Use of Your Immediate Family to Carry Out Your Abusive Partner's Agenda - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.To add insult to injury, confusion to the complicated, mystery to the already oozing drama is the use of your own family to carry out your abusive partner’s agenda. Why? Whose Family Is My Family? If you’re perplexed as to why your parents are suddenly supporting your ...
Views: 792 - Domestic Violence Divorce: Legal Psychiatric Rape - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When a victim leaves a battering relationship and moves out OR speaks out, is she safe? Not necessarily so. Statistics show she is more often at greater risk after she leaves. Far too often we hear about battered women falling through the cracks of the system on their way out of an abusive ...
Views: 866 - Healing from Emotional Abuse: Overcoming Obstacles and Obtaining Benefits from Meditation - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I hear people claim they can’t meditate and so they opt for some other form of relaxation or marshal art. My hunch is they can meditate if and when they get out of their way. Meditation is fundamentally not a doing activity, though there is a discipline of routine and mechanics involved. ...
Views: 1152 - How to Break the Cycle of Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A common question people ask is what are some practical ways to break the cycle of abuse? First is identifying the syndrome It is essential that you have identified the cluster of symptoms that defines domestic violence and understand how it lives in your life. Giving it a name is number ...
Views: 1426 - Abusive Relationships - Why Doesn't She Just Leave, for Crying Out Loud! - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Almost as common as the question why doesn’t she just leave are the answers. So why do people continue to ask? I suspect it is because a victim’s staying in an abusive relationship is truly perplexing looking from the outside in. Here are 3 clear explanations for why she ...
Views: 838 - Legal Domestic Abuse: 7 Signs Your Attorney Has a Vested Interest in Helping Your Opposition - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Imagine rallying up the courage to leave an abusive partner and find yourself in a relationship with counsel in which you are the same as you were in relation to your partner...only difference is you’re in the seduction/promises phase of the relationship. Far too often we see women seek ...
Views: 812 - The Psychosocial Politics of Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.As a psychologist, I’m often asked what is the psychopathology of individuals in abusive relationships? The perpetrator’s mental health status is usually more self-evident, whereas the victims’ mental health status is clouded with the psychosocial politics of domestic violence ...
Views: 945 - 5 Benefits of Learning to Identify Intimate Partner Abuse - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If you have read my writing, you may know me as someone who encourages people to recognize intimate partner violence. But, I wonder if you know why I’m so steadfast about this. Learning to Meditate Is Like Learning to Mate I’m reminded of the days when I taught biofeedback and ...
Views: 856 - Leaving an Abusive Relationship - How to Insure a Safe Departure from an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If you’ve read my writing you know I’m a proponent of leaving an abusive relationship quickly and quietly, when you decide to do so. Now that doesn’t mean you jump in the car and go “out of the blue.” No not at all. Because if you do, chances are you’ll be ...
Views: 781 - Family Violence Healing: 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When children go away to college and get away from “who and what” the controlling family members want them to be, a window opens up. What they discover is their essence. Now here’s the gem... That essence is a composite of their formative years. If you were in their lives ...
Views: 866 - What You Must Know to Leave an Abusive Relationship Safely - by Submitted on Dec 01, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Often times we hear that leaving an abuser, can be deadly. According to FBI reports 75% of all homicides by intimate male partners occurred after the victim left. Battered women are far more vulnerable to physical attack as well as attacks to their personal privacy, their civil liberties and ...
Views: 793 - Domestic Violence and Child Custody: From the Frying Pan to the Fire of Family Violence - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Can we bring justice to family courts? That’s a highly political question, and I think the answer has more to do with the nature of the human beings behind the system and the misconceptions of those using the system to seek safety. We hear of battered women falling through the cracks of ...
Views: 789 - Emotional Verbal Abuse: Signs that Serve to Save Verbal Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Women say, I was glad when he hit me, because I finally realized what was on my plate. I finally got it. This is abuse! Do you need the altercations in your home to become physical before you can see them for what they are? If so, you could be making your remedy more difficult, more ...
Views: 1318 - After the Abusive Relationship: Long-Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Do what you’re called to do and the universe will support you. You’ve probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs... This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your ...
Views: 1223 - Domestic Violence and Child Custody - Legal Psychiatric Ploys of Divorce Lawyers - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When divorce and domestic violence are before the court, the children can often serve as the vehicle for the perpetrator to save face and maintain control over the family. Sound familiar? If you are in family court with an abusive partner, or abusive ex-partner, and there are children ...
Views: 994 - Abusive Relationships - What is the Difference between Being Abusive and Being an Abuser? - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.What is the difference between “being abusive” and “being an abuser?” I hear this question by people trying to determine if they are entangled in intimate partner violence, even when they don’t know this term. What they want to know is: Am I in a dangerously abusive ...
Views: 915 - Abusive Relationships - Why Do People Return To Their Abusive Relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A common question people have about individuals in abusive relationships is: why do they stay? A more perplexing question to bystanders looking in is: why do they go back? And moreover, why do they go back again and again and again? It is estimated that a domestic abuse survivor will return to ...
Views: 999 - Adult Child's Abusive Relationship - How to Support Your Child's Psychotherapeutic Growth - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Parents are often the instruments of change for adult children in abusive relationships. And at the same time, they can also impede the change process. The Process Yields the Result Psychotherapy is a process; it’s not an injection. Even though there are psychotherapeutic techniques ...
Views: 831 - Abusive Relationship - The Power Of A Diagnosis in Understanding And Ending Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The value of the diagnostic label has more to do with the way it impacts the person with the condition than anything else. Can you remember a time in your life when you had a medical condition and you received a diagnosis that immediately lifted the weight off your shoulders and sent you to ...
Views: 750 - Abusive Relationship - Double Dynamics When Sons And Daughters Are In Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It’s no secret that we use our adulthood to work out our unfinished business with our parents. And when domestic violence is on our plate we may even see it as an opportunity to get even. Young people in abusive relationships sometime remain in these relationships because their parents ...
Views: 793 - Verbal Abuse - How To Stay Out Of The Line Of Fire When It Comes To Verbal Abuse - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be. Let’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control ...
Views: 2020(1 vote) - Signs Of Abusive Relationships: Conditioning that Kills From The Inside Out In Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We know the drama of domestic abuse from the outside looking in, as it is popularized by the media and by entertainment mediums. But the silent insidious inner deaths that take place are more pervasive and, and in some cases, more debilitating for the domestic abuse survivor. What are the inner ...
Views: 868 - Abused Men - Are You In The Doghouse Of An Abusive Relationship? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Abusive women put their men in the doghouse when they are misbehaving. And the shame these men feel is no different than that felt by battered women. It’s a shame that has many dimensions: a) I let my partner down. b) I don’t measure up to my partner’s expectations and/or ...
Views: 859 - After The Abusive Relationship - 7 Clues for Knowing You're Doing What Is Right For You - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence survivors often wonder what next? Now, that I’m no longer defined by my role in my “other life,” then what next... Who is this person? What is this person? What ought this person be doing with her life? In some respects this pondering is typical of battered ...
Views: 846 - Recovering From Physical Abuse: 3 Keys To Your Body's Miracle Makeover After The Domestic Abuse Assault - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Broken bones, ruptured spleen, bruised swollen tissue, and ultimately a diagnosed clinical condition labeled as “degenerative disc.” Such a label can connote a permanent, defective body part, and ultimately an image of broken body. I hear domestic violence survivors talk about their ...
Views: 1035 - Domestic Abuse - Why Water For Domestic Abuse And Trauma Recovery? - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.What’s with the water for domestic abuse survivors? Water can be like soap to the body on a cellular level. It flushes out the impurities in the system. And let’s face it when you live with someone who tells you that you are junk...toxicity builds up in your system. So how do you ...
Views: 864 - Abusive Relationship - Why Does She Let Him Talk To Her Like That? - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.What’s wrong with her for “letting” him talk to her like that? This is the first thought of an outsider looking in on an abusive encounter of an abusive relationship. Dr. Phil was interviewing a couple obviously in an abusive relationship. He asked the woman how she felt about ...
Views: 903 - Family Violence - Lost Mothers, Lied To Children & The Legal Abuse Syndrome - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.“Where is your Mom?” asked a little boy to another. The little boy replied, “I don’t know.” From his point of view, she was lost. She was gone. She left him. She abandoned him. ...And the conclusions go on and on, each one with more and more potential to fracture a ...
Views: 977 - Abusive Relationship Healing - 5 Tips for Lifting Depression after Your Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It is common knowledge that when one is beaten down, they feel beaten down. So it’s no wonder that domestic abuse survivors frequently suffer from depression. We see this in individuals living in an abusive relationship, and in those having left their abuser. What is it that makes it ...
Views: 1118 - Abusive Relationship - 8 Reasons You Haven't Left Your Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.You know from the core of your being that living in an abusive relationship is not good...not healthy…outright destructive. But you struggle with leaving. And those that know of your circumstances remain perplexed as to why you just don’t go. I understand and so do the millions of ...
Views: 776 - Adult Child's Abusive Relationship: The Significance of the Subtle Signs Of An Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is living in an abusive relationship, these are not always the clues that inspire the abused to leave. As human beings we have an enormous capacity to whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to ...
Views: 1170 - Daughter In Abusive Relationship: How To Help Your Daughter In An Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Often it is the person closest to the abused individual that becomes vocal about the existence of an abusive relationship. This may be mother, father, sister, brother or best friend. What becomes most difficult for these bystanders is helping their loved one acknowledge the abuse as they see ...
Views: 1169 - Abused Men: Abusive Partner And The Gender Factor - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Common thinking is that domestic violence is a “women’s issue.” While it is true there are more reported abuse cases involving women, it is a fact that men are abused by their domestic partners as well. My belief is that there is indeed a gender factor when we think of abuse ...
Views: 803 - Abusive Relationship: Subtle Communication Patterns Of Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.People ask me what kind of domestic abuse assessment screen helps someone who is abused to see the light. In providing assessments for thousands of people, I’m convinced that a tool that reveals the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships helps someone being abused to awaken ...
Views: 1618 - Spousal Abuse or Substance Abuse: How Do You Know? - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.People often say my partner is abusive when he/she drinks. And from here, they deduce that they are dealing with partner or spousal abuse. However, that may or may not necessarily be so. How do you distinguish between abuse associated with alcohol and/or drug abuse from abuse associated with ...
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