The other day I was sitting in Starbucks watching people come in and out, ordering their specialty drinks, and I sat near some elderly women who had obviously been life long friends. They were finishing each others’ sentences and reminiscing over times past; birthdays, holidays, vacations – it was pleasant listening to their conversations. The conversations transitioned a little bit and became a little more intimate because they began to speak of their relationship with their husbands – how they met, etc. and this thought occurred to me; ‘The innocence of that generation.’ It was simple and sweet, there wasn’t a lot of “texting” communication. They spoke open and honestly to each other, there were letters involved, wars, but it was so personal -the voice and emotions could look you in the eye. There was no misunderstanding on the intentions of the heart that the person sitting in the front of them had. I say “texting ” communication referring to the fact that I’m surrounded by teenagers who seem to thrive from it.

One thing I’m frequently asked is “What do you think this means?” (and then I’m showed a text of “lol”). “Does he think its funny? Do you think its sarcastic?” There is no telling what tone anyone takes in a text and one comment can lead to many conclusions. I have hundreds of faceboook friends and it has been wonderful reconnecting with friends and keeping in touch with long distance relationships. But in reality that’s about as deep as it gets. Building a worthy relationship that is intimate needs to have the element of sound and sight. I thank God all the time for Skype!

I interrupted their conversation with a few questions, one of which was “How long have you been married”? “58 years” one lady replied. Then I asked “What is your advice to couples today and what is your opinion with so many conversations done over texts and instant messaging?” She said “Well, the most important thing in marriage is communication – and texting is not communication. Everything has its place but there is no depth in that, and so its easy to just delete and move on.” She obviously wasn’t a fan of texting. Then she went onto say respect, consideration, honesty and if you have all that you will have a successful marriage.” Then an elderly gentlemen said, “Flowers! Flowers is the key, I have a wonderful relationship with my wife we’ve been together for many years and I make sure I get her flowers at least once a month just because. Yep, that’s it, flowers!” I smiled and this thought came across my mind; I don’t think he’s talking about the virtual flowers sent via texts, emails, facebook etc. He’s talking about the ones you can actually smell.

These are changing times and more than ever people are moving from Cities to States to Countries – and in an instant you can text a message to communicate around the world, which is wonderful, but to build a deep relationship it has to be more than little words abbreviated on a little screen. Our society provides many ways for couples to break up whether they are married or not, and communicating is key to any relationship. I think we can learn from older generations in that for them to have had a relationship they had to “voice” it. I highly encourage you next time you get a text, text back with ‘lets meet’ or ‘call me, lol’ . Then they can find out what their intention was when they text you ‘lol’.

Author's Bio: 

Toni knows what its like to face challenges and over come them. She was diagnosed with epilepsy at an early age and struggled with it through her teens and first several years of marriage. Thanks to a medical breakthrough, she received an implant that changed her life. She recovered and got her life back, starting with getting her driver’s license at the age of 30. Since then, she continues to successfully raise two daughters who will soon graduate high school. She’s an expert in how to regain your life after illness. She began speaking at the Epilepsy Foundation and other groups.