What do we mean by What-Is? Are you aware of these two forms of it? Do you know what the real challenge that we face is with what-is?

A few people communicated with me recently about challenges with what-is. Here’s the thing: What-is isn’t the challenge. The challenge is our resistance to what-is and how to surrender that resistance, and what surrender really means. So, what do we mean by what-is?

The first form is what has been going on and continues to go on. Any resistance we feel comes from the fact that something in us has changed about what’s going on and we (ego-mind) want or need something or someone in our external world to match and/or supply this change in us. Ego-mind will want this match and supply to happen immediately or as soon as possible because the contrast is uncomfortable.

What’s important to realize about the discomfort is that it comes from ego-mind’s dialogue (compulsive thinking) about what it doesn’t like or finds intolerable; it focuses on this. The way out of and beyond the discomfort is to let your Spirit-Being aspect work on this, keeping in mind the Law of Matching Vibrations. Let this spiritual aspect of you consider what can be done and focus on that, envision what can be and focus on that, and in right timing you take right action.

The second form is what we usually mean, which is that something changed externally in our lives which we (ego-mind) didn’t choose for ourselves beforehand. And discomfort for ego-mind sets in, in much the same way as described above. The resolution is the same: the first thing we must do is release resistance to what-is now. Maybe it’ll help to better understand resistance so we can better understand how and why to release it.

Maybe our resistance tendencies stem from a need or instilled requirement for consistency, order, and tidiness in life (clean your room, tidy your desk, do this at this time). Some order and consistency is necessary for us to function well. For example, who wants to waste time looking for something when it’s easy to put it back in the same place after we use it? Some needs for order make life easier and save time, while some create unnecessary tasks and waste time, or they lead us into procrastination (yet another form of resistance), or we overwhelm ourselves with trying to do everything all at once or more than time allows (resistance to natural flow and right timing).

Life is messy, in degrees and at various times. Even when our ego-mind is (temporarily) satisfied, something is messy and could be addressed. A parallel example is that when most people cook a meal, the kitchen can get messy; but it can be tidied at some point. It’s called being in process. We resist process because we believe everything in life and about us should always be in order, tidy, consistent - but it isn’t, is it?

We can impose order on ourselves in our external world, but what about in our inner world? Maybe the reason our external world is untidy or disorderly in certain areas and in certain ways is because that’s what it’s like at the inner level. (I know – there’s no maybe about it.) As with our physical spaces - homes, cars, desks, etc., we can become so accustomed to our untidy inner life that we don’t notice it, don’t pay proper attention to it, or are aware of it but just ignore it… because ego-mind never, ever likes to be not right, even if it knows it’s not right.

Here are five times or ways when resistance is likely to happen or is happening, and the effects.

One: Something changes dramatically in your life. Resistance sets in big-time and turns into denial. You attempt to keep doing things as though nothing has changed, so you keep hitting the proverbial brick wall, because something HAS changed - but you haven’t. And maybe you don’t want to. Your ego-mind wants to return to what was familiar, even if not fully satisfactory. But you will need to change if you’re ever going to feel better. In fact, it’s the only way. It’s a matter of figuring out what that change involves. However, you have a better experience and get better results if you change something at the inner level first and always, before you apply your energy to what’s going on around you.

Two: Things don’t go the way you expected or people don’t do what you expected, and you get “bent out of shape” about it. I’ll share a personal story from a few decades ago. I’d invited a few friends over for dinner and recalled the last time they’d been over and how one of them didn’t follow my “vision” about how things should go and how unhappy about that I’d been. I caught myself thinking this and decided to Let It Go! I decided to fulfill my vision for the evening as far as the meal and table setting went, and chose to have no attachments after that, to go with the flow and be spontaneous (and allow this for all) rather than impose any expectations. Sure, there are times when order and schedule create flow, but it was a major lesson for me: when you allow such moments to unfold in their own way, you and everyone else has a much better time.

I think we get conditioned in this way (unrealistic, unfair, and no-fun expectations) from how the various systems in our lives are set up: all the “ducks” must be in their rows; everything must be as predictable as possible; everyone should know the “rules”; the fewer surprises, the less we’ll have to use our natural instincts and creativity and the more we’ll have to really trust ourselves. If you’re sending a shuttle to the moon and back, system is the way to go. But not everything in life needs this kind of regimented system applied to it, most especially not times intended to be enjoyable.

Three: The demonstration of petulant indifference often expressed as “Whatever” or “I don’t care” is resistance. This resistance usually means we don’t want to apply our attention to something or someone who doesn’t agree with our ego-mind’s perspective. This causes ego-mind to resist seeking to understand another’s position. Ego-mind wants to be right. To change its mind might mean it’s wrong.

Four: When you resist accepting and loving yourself as you are, you’ll resist others and life as they are. This resistance leads to judgment, criticism, rejection, and possibly even trying to force change rather than encourage beneficial improvement – in your regard and in others’ regard. What I mean about resisting who you are is that voice that says you’re less or not enough – not slim enough or filled out enough, not attractive enough, not wealthy or affluent enough. The list of not-enoughs could go on and on. These thoughts cause you to resist you, to resist discovering who you really are or allowing you to BE without all these opinions weighing you down. You can be at peace with who you are and improve what you choose to at the same time. One doesn’t exclude the other.

Five: Resistance to what-is puts ego-mind into the top place of importance and puts others and the flow of life beneath or after this in importance. Ego-mind wants what it wants and to heck with everyone and everything else. Spirit – yours, other’s, and life’s is forgotten by ego-mind at such times.

Ego-mind doesn’t like change it didn’t put into motion, so resists change that is inevitable and ongoing. Some changes are sudden, but many are so subtle we don’t notice them until the results make them seem sudden to ego-mind. Surrender – letting go of resistance – allows us to pay attention and choose how to adjust. This includes seeking assistance when we need it, something ego-mind sometimes hesitates to do because this may indicate the identity it wishes to demonstrate as “perfect” isn’t.

Resistance is judgment, and judgment holds what-is in place because judgment is a vibration that gets matched, positive or negative. Ego-mind tends to put more energy into and emphasis on judging what it doesn’t like than on what it does, which explains a lot if you think about it. This is also why appreciation is important to practice. The more you tell yourself about something the more solid it becomes as your experience. So you have to decide whether ego-mind or your Spirit-Being will do the talking.

Eckhart Tolle had this to say about surrender: “Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.... Acceptance of what is immediately frees you from mind identification and thus reconnects you with Being. Resistance is the mind.... it is not the overall situation that you need to accept when you surrender, but just the tiny segment called the Now.”

There is no way to be fully present in the Now and fully in your power and creativity and productivity (or service or significance) when you are in resistance. But, these become freely yours the moment you surrender your resistance. Surrender is a choice. But, it isn’t a choice to give up or give in, as ego-mind tends to believe. It’s a choice to reduce or eliminate self-imposed suffering that gets layered on top of any emotional pain immediately produced by an unexpected change or a revealed discontent. Surrender invites Spirit or Universal Consciousness in, which can’t work as well as it might in and on you, your situation, or your life, as long as resistance blocks its way.

Surrender is about acknowledging that “the milk has spilled” and that the spill needs to be addressed. Stomping your feet and shouting about the spill won’t change the fact of it – not ever. Spirit Consciousness will choose to clean it up, will choose to figure out what to do or not do the next time, and then let the event go. Ego Unconsciousness will go on and on about it and probably bring it up one or more times in the future, or do who knows what else that isn’t constructive or productive.

Surrender does mean you acknowledge what-is, but it doesn’t mean you do nothing to improve what you can in you and about a situation. Notice I didn’t say what you can improve about others. Others, just as you are, who are able-minded and -bodied, are responsible for their own improvements.

There’s a relevant line of dialogue at the end of the movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Voldemort has returned, and Dumbledore tells Harry, “Soon we must face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” Actually, we face this choice in each moment. You might say there’s nothing easy about resistance, but it’s what we often choose and the state we often remain in. It isn’t that we tell ourselves that it’s easier than surrendering resistance, but how easy does your ego-mind believe or feel surrendering resistance is? Your ego-mind wants to argue with this, even though your Spirit Being knows it’s the right choice to make.

You can teach or encourage yourself to ask if a thought, feeling, word, or action is based in resistance or in the flow that surrendering resistance brings. It’s a good practice, one you’ll appreciate.

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer

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Author's Bio: 

Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru” and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles and free downloads. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com/guest-articles.html