The heart-stopping realisation that someone is being unfaithful to you means you have to make some fast and firm decisions because from moment to moment the perspective you once had about your life, and indeed your husband, is changing.

You no longer believe in him and his promises. You perhaps can no longer see yourself growing old with him or that he will be the father of your children. And you probably now harbour doubts about your desirability and what your future holds. My advice to you and anyone who is facing such a situation is: When everything changes, change everything.

Most of us believe that change is painful and we will go to great lengths to avoid it, even staying in relationships that no longer work. But how you actually approach change will make all the difference. Your first change is how you want to react to this event. Right now you are angry and confused and it’s easy to see why. That’s your fear talking.

Ask yourself would you like to stay that way and continue to approach it from this angle? If you do it might get messy because even though throwing a few vases, getting revenge or screaming and yelling can feel cathartic, you end up losing in the end. Change your approach because you do have a choice. Be selective with your emotions. This doesn’t mean you have to be cold and calculating, nor do you have to ignore your instinctive feelings, just take a moment and in your mind go through your options. Each option will have a different outcome for you to consider.

You will obviously still feel strong emotions for a while believing that the harmony you once had has been replaced by uncertainty and struggle. This is normal, but do choose a way ahead for yourself that allows you to feel love again. Is there a peaceful resolution? How you process this on the inside will determine what happens on the outside.

How good you are at this emotional management will determine your success in all areas of your life. Our initial reactions tend to be negative and can make situations even worse. Taking control of your self means you have a foothold on the solution ladder. Whether you choose to stay with him and work things through, or whether you decide to make a fresh start alone must come from your decision to choose a great future not just a painless one.

Author's Bio: 

Alexandra Watson is a leading Happiness Expert and best-selling author - John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus calls Alexandra's book The Happiness System for Women 'a vibrant and exciting journey to the centre of your soul'. Alexandra has featured internationally on TV, radio and in many top publications. For a complimentary call on how to unblock your happiness and success right now go to