Inside each of us is a father, a mother, a boy child, and a girl child. These four archetypes are the facets of our soul, the building blocks of our personality, and the image we project onto others.

The most effective way to understand how these archetypes impact your life is by figuring out which of these four archetypes dominates your conscious mind—how you think—and your subconscious mind—how you feel.

Each of the archetypes can manifest in our lives in loving and unloving ways. Let's take a look at them one by one.

Loving Father is the archetype that protects, directs, disciplines and gives conditional love. He helps us become impersonal to the things that we would normally react to in a negative way. He makes sure we are true to our word and finish what we start. He represents the law of cause and effect. He always acts in consort with Loving Mother. Unloving Father criticizes us and everyone else.

Loving Mother nurtures teaches, guides, explains and gives us unconditional love. She always backs Loving Father's rules with explanation, and his conditional love with unconditional love. When she is unloving, she is abandoning and goes aloof or spoils us by giving us things instead of herself (smother-mother.)

Loved Boychild is the adventurer in us. He is charming, brave, competitive in a healthy way, and likes to be champion. He is competitive to master skills. Unloved Boychild is aggressive, overcompetitive and will lie, cheat, backbite or steal to get what he wants. He always has to have the last word.

Loved Girlchild is the mystical side of our nature. She is innocent, pure, gentle, caring, forgiving and creative. She loves beauty and does things with finesse. She is not constrained by time and space. She can contact the transcendental. Unloved Girlchild is the wounded victim-martyr consciousness, whiney and resentful.

Two of these archetypes dominate how you think and how you feel. They are a platform for your personality.Think about it. Which archetype do you function through most in your day-to-day affairs? That's your conscious archetype.
Are you competitive? Do you have a drive to get things done? Do you have a good sense of humor and a lot of zeal? Can you get aggressive and overcompetitive? You may have a conscious Boychild archetype.

Are you methodical in how you do things? Do you like to make sure all your bases are covered? Do you respond to situations in a wise, contained, adult manner? Do you tend to mother other people? When you aren't happy, do you go aloof or overindulge others? Mother could be your conscious archetype.

Are you very creative? Are you naturally gentle and forgiving? Do you naturally want to care for everyone? Is it hard to stay focused or on time? Are you often misunderstood or brutalized by others? Do you retaliate with resentment and complaining? You might have a conscious Girlchild archetype.

Now, consider your subconscious archetype. It's the one you feel through and the one you functioned through as a child.

Do you have a need for strong principles, discipline and order, and desire to rule in any situation, but don't always have the wherewithal to carry it out? Are you hypercritical with yourself and thrive on severe discipline? As a child, were you frequently crushed by criticism whenever you made a mistake? Were you treated like you should already be grown up? You may have subconscious Father.

Do you feel competitive even if you don't carry it out? Are you comfortable when you feel in control of a situation? As a child, were you tough, very active and sometimes combative? This could mean you have a subconscious Boychild.

Do you feel nurturing, mature and adult deep down inside? Do you become aloof when your feelings are hurt? As a child, did you take on a lot of responsibility? Did people treat you as a little grown up? You may have a subconscious Mother.

Are you extremely sensitive emotionally? Do you cry a lot, even in the movies? Do you deeply care about things? As a child, did you like to daydream? Did you often get picked on? Were you gentle at heart? Maybe your subconscious archetype is Girlchild.

As you become familiar with how the four archetypes impact your life and specifically influence your conscious and subconscious mind, you will get to know more and more about yourself and how you relate to other people. Little by little, you will also find it easier to assess what other people's archetypes are so you can better understand them and get along with them.

Our archetypes are like a toolbox. We can draw upon the best archetype for every situation and person we come in contact with. This makes us more competent. It dramatically transforms how we come across to others and also influences how they relate to us.

Learning about our inner family archetypes is the first step towards understanding ourselves, transforming our relationships and working positive change in our lives.

For more information, please visit or contact to schedule your personalized archetype reading.

Author's Bio: 

Therese Emmanuel Grey is spiritual and relationship mentor who teaches the inner family archetypes to help heal individuals and families. She has co-authored two landmark books, Why We Do What We Do and The Psychology of Success. Her autobiography, Miracles, Masters and Mirth: Adventures in Spirituality and Self-Awareness, provides extraordinary insights on the purpose of life and can be found at
Therese nurtures a fast-growing online community of spiritual seekers and holistic minded individuals at She also hosts several radio programs, including daily violet flame mantras and meditations at Therese teaches weekly classes, webinars and facilitator training courses from her home in Montana, including the well-loved Radiant Sherpa Retreat. She also offers private sessions, where she shares highly effective insights and rituals to help you connect to your angels and sponsoring master. Find out more at