Problems sometimes turn out to be unexpected gifts, so look for them.

By Beate Chelette

Can’t all this move faster, I asked my herbalist the other day as I sat impatiently on the treatment table? I am smack in the middle of being rewired by nature and Steve is helping me through the symptoms of perimenopause, a biological stage that can’t be avoided—or rushed—despite my insistence. With the utmost patience, Steve reminded me that my pace is probably exactly the pace it needs to be.

That got me thinking. Why are we rarely satisfied with the way things go? They are too slow, or too stressful. It’s too much or not enough. Dissatisfaction thinking leaves us in a perpetual state of wanting something different, which can’t be good for us. Nor does it allow for the unexpected gifts and experiences that show up instead.

What happened to me in Austin last week is a perfect example. I went to Wizard Academy to teach a two-day course on leadership, based on principles in The Women’s Code. It’s a subject I am knowledgeable and passionate about, and my hopes were high for a big turnout. What I didn’t know is that I had really stiff competition. The governor’s wife had scheduled the same dates for the annual women’s conference and it was almost impossible to find a hotel room.

My team and I did everything possible. We promoted, listed the event, direct mailed, and had flyers printed and dear friends who handed them out during networking events. I am a promotional machine, but this one wasn’t moving and the attendance was less than I had hoped.

Then, during a meditation, I got one sentence that remains etched in my brain. “Trust the path.” I find it very difficult to do that as I am used to doing, maneuvering or pushing for what I want. Just trusting the path seems to be so – well, counterproductive.

There comes a point where you’ve done everything you can. Then you must accept that the way it is – is exactly what it should be. Even or especially when it is not the way you envisioned it. When do our own plans ever line up with God’s, spirit or the universe?

In Austin, for me, that meant letting go of my lofty expectations and focusing instead on what was happening right there, in front of me--the incredible women who had signed up for the course. They were eager to learn and implement the tools and principles in The Women’s Code. Over the next two days, I got to discover who they are, what they care about and what challenges they face. It was very intense because it was a small group and we were “on” throughout.

What transpired after the course is nothing short of miraculous. On the final day, several participants had real break throughs. One woman realized that she didn’t lose her job recently because she wasn’t good, but because she was more motivated than the job would ever allow her to be. She had carried the defeat and shame with her for months, and then, in only two days, we saw her emerging strong and resilient, with good self-esteem.

Another attendee had a tough realization about her marriage when she arrived back home. After going through The Women’s Code leadership program and feeling the support and acceptance from everyone, she wrote me a note saying that the timing couldn’t have been better because now she knows that she is capable of making her own choices and standing on her own two feet no matter what.

These women and every woman who practices The Women’s Code principles are my gifts. They show and remind me that the program works. Four women at a time or a room full of women. It doesn’t really matter as I selfishly get to watch their—and your--transformation by shedding what no longer works and emerging stronger than ever.

So, in the end, everything turned out perfectly. Please share with us if you had an experience where you, too, changed your thinking from ‘”oh my what is this” to “it’s perfect.”

Take a look at this short video of the fun and camaraderie we shared.

Author's Bio: 

Beate Chelette is a respected career coach, business trainer, and a consummate entrepreneur who founded The Women’s Code, a unique guide to personal and career success that offers a new code of conduct for today’s business, private and digital world. After selling one of her start-up companies, BeateWorks, to Bill Gates in 2006 for millions of dollars, CEOs and entrepreneurs around the country came calling to learn her strategies for success, and today Beate shares them in her dynamic break-out training sessions on leadership, conflict resolution and effective communication.