Have you ever postponed some thing you really wanted or needed to do until you had a long Wanna-Do List later that never got fulfilled?

Have you ever wished for extra time to sleep a bit more, read longer, or do something different?

After you’ve finally found the time, have you found yourself doing something else, like flicking through TV channels, spending most of the day in bed or on the couch feeling drained of energy?

How come we have energy when we go to work, cater to our kids’ needs, and run errands? How come when we finally get some free time to do something we had long wanted to do, we feel we lack energy? Answers to these questions may vary, but the main difference between having energy to work, and running after our kids or doing some chores, is that we may be acting under the mighty effect of Adrenalin and other stress hormones.

On The Doctors’ show, the doctors once talked about Leisure Sickness, which is basically falling sick or feeling poorly on your vacation. Seems unfortunate but true. As long as one feels stressed about certain tasks, stress hormones continue to mask one’s feelings of exhaustion and illness on days of work or activity. However, on vacation, stress may fade away, which gives way for other important feelings to surface, like feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, blocked, confused, anger, etc. This usually take the form of fatigue, colon disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, etc.

Therefore, one should always keep checking in with oneself, especially health-wise, in order to discern any health hazards, which may imply taking more free time to rest, relax, and meditate, in order to regain one’s balance.

Now, let’s move to another aspect of non-productivity during one’s free time, weekend or vacation, which is feeling spaced out, not knowing where to start first. You know you always had a Wanna-Do list (as opposed to the familiar To-Do List, which you may normally rush to fulfill), but when you seem to have extra time on your hands, you may find yourself staring in space for a while, watching too much TV, indulging in food, etc.

Why is it when we finally get some time off, instead of doing things we long wanted to do, we end up doing something else or nothing at all that day? Have you noticed how when a goal is relevant to your own awareness of what you really need and want to do, it may take the backseat, and become labelled as “Can Do Later”?

Tim Gallway in his book The Inner Game of Work, says: “Perhaps we all realize that as human beings we have a tendency to get in our own way.” Our brains may get quite overwhelmed by the long lists of “Must-Do”s and “Should-Do”s. To motivate ourselves further (when we know we’re running out of energy), we may start bullying selves in order to do things that help us achieve goals that are socially praiseworthy, like over-delivering at work showing everyone else that we are successful, popular and in demand. Society (family, friends, school, work, etc.) have made us very aware of what should be done, what is accepted and what is not.

Yet, we may be lucky enough to have a second dream; a dream whereby we really aspire to do something we really want to do that truly aligns with who we are. This may include a career change, the choice to quit work and stay home to take of one’s kids, the need to take some time off or travel to a different country seeking a change in perspective, etc.

Obviously, change is not easy and many of us fear it, since we are creatures of habit (security). We may be wanting to do certain things so bad, but we keep placing conditions on them: “When I have the time, I will sit and reflect. Then, I will take some time off, then I wanna quit my job. I want a better job”, etc.

Gallway talks about the pressure we perceive and confine ourselves to whenever we think of the work we need to do: “Each time I take a committed step toward working free, I can feel the chains begin to tighten. The bonds of unconscious habit pull me back as if I’m attached by a rubber band to a post. The first few steps are not so hard, but tension builds as I take each step away from my routines. When stretched to the limit, I have felt the force snap me all the way back in the opposite direction, leaving me no choice but to start the journey again. Perhaps the quest for true freedom must at some point expose that central post to which the band is tied. This freedom I pursue is an innate freedom, not one granted by a person or society. Its pursuit requires a fundamental redefinition of “work.”

Basically, our brains are the Control Units in our entire bodies. So the brain perceives, interprets and then sends out actions to be done by the body. To the brain, that is its truth! Gorgias said: ‘What is right but what we prove to be right? and what is truth but what we believe to be truth?’

Now, you may ask: How come we feel pressured to do things we always wanted to do on our free time?

Because we may be so busy during the week, when we finally get a bit of free time on our hands, we may feel like we want to jam everything we wish to do in this tiny window of opportunity. Just perceiving this lee way as a limitation, we may feel some kind of pressure to start with things we wish to do first (i.e. prioritize).

On the other hand, some of the things we postpone to do in our spare time may be more personal and serious, like looking for a different job, writing a resignation letter, etc, to which we already feel pressure already. Our sense of pressure toward this personal matter may derive from our strong wish to achieve this goal yet fear we may fail to do so. Therefore, this paradox of feelings may pose a greater pressure on the brain, who is telling our body: “I gotta do this right. If I fail, I’ll suffer from the consequences.”

Sometimes, when the topic is very personal and we want it really badly, some of us may feel they have already failed just from the negative way of thinking about it. This may lead the thinker to feel like a failure, a loser, a slacker, etc. Of course, such people may be suffering from a low self-esteem, as they often beat themselves by themselves just through thinking. Therefore, someone who may have postponed doing something until they have got some free time to do so, may end up spending the day on the couch doing nothing at all.

So how can one get out of the rut and actually do what one wants to do?

This article will be continued.

Follow us as we go explore next what a coach may do to help such clients beat their gremlins and actually succeed in whatever they wish to do.
Rate this:

Rate This

Share this:

Press This

Like this:
3 bloggers like this.

Goss Coaching

Leave a Comment

Filed under Canada, USA, UK, Australia, UAE, Certified Professional Coaching, PR, Media & Marketing, Self-Doubt, Anxiety, Stress, Fear, Weight loss, Parenting, Relationships, Business Problems

Tagged as Canada, Certified Professional Coaching, Child, children, Coaching, disappointment, Doctors, emotional intelligence, Energy, failure, family, Fatigue, fear, feelings, Gorgias, happiness, Health, Inner Game of Work, inspiration, inspirational, Irritable bowel syndrome, Leisure Sickness, stress, Stress hormone, United States

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”
― Thomas Merton

Are you an ambitious individual yet you are held back by self-doubt?

Are you wasting your time doing things you are not convinced of?

Are you not pleased with your employees’ level of productivity, endless excuses, and inefficient attitude towards work?

Do you hate your boss, colleagues and work environment?

Does your busy life keep you from finding time for yourself & your loved ones?

Do you wish to lose a few pounds, yet hate dieting or workouts?

Are you spiritual and wish to make time for prayer or meditation?

Are you a student pressured by homework, school or your teachers?

Are you a parent who is sick of arguing with your husband or teen?

If you find yourself in any of the above, then we can help you.

At Wisdom Within, we offer quality Life Coaching services that can help you get out of the rut, ‘choose’ the life you want to live, and be the person you want to be.

Life Coaching can turn your current problems into opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and fulfillment. Life Coaching can bring optimism back in your life, which can brighten up with soon-to-be possibilities that can make your journey more enjoyable, intentional and purposeful.

To better understand what coaching is, who is it for, and what it can offer you, please click here to watch an explanatory clip by Aileen Richardson.

If you like what you have heard and read so far, and would love to give coaching a try, please join us for your free trial session. We would love to hear from you.
Rate this:

I have never thought of this particular topic until I’ve had some interesting recent experiences, during which I realized that people revere experts (doctors, therapists, priests, etc.) to a great extent that they constantly seek their advice, opinion or consultancy.

On TV, the radio, the internet, etc., we are bombarded by advice from all sorts and types. Some of it is even based on gender. Furthermore, most – if not all – of us may know at least one friend who sees a therapist, a doctor or a consultant on a frequent pattern.

Why are we constantly looking ‘out there’ for advice, as opposed to establishing a daily routine, whereby one connects to him/herself, and delve into its depths, questioning what goes on inside there?

Why is it that we accept standards shown to us on street banners and posters, tv, the internet, etc. and not set our own?

Why do we care more about how we sound than about what we really wish to say?

Even though experts really sound impressive, everyone knows what really aches them in life, in their bodies, hearts, etc. So why are we constantly driven to listen to what experts have to say about us, when we – first and foremost – know what is it that we need?

Whereas some experts’ jobs includes giving feedback or voicing out their opinion, a coach’s job is one where a client gets to talk more than the expert listening to him. The expert – when feels necessary to give feedback – would ask first for the client’s permission to do so, as an indication that a coach’s opinion in the client is not an essential element in the coaching relationship.

In coaching, it is believed that every person is their own doctor or healer. Every person has the ability to recognize the type of pain and its cure. What is really needed is a good thorough reflection into one’s own life, mind and heart, and then the answers start materializing before one’s own eyes.

On the other hand, just as helpful and powerful coaching can be to many individuals, some people may jeopardize an entire coaching relationship just to sound ‘right’, ‘cool’, ‘smart’, etc. This usually derives from perceiving important things in a shallow way, which results in missing out on the great learning opportunities they offer.

Being honest with ourselves is the first key to connecting with oneself and one’s inner wisdom, which usually guides one towards what they really want and where truly wish to go. If we block this innate and miraculous ability, we become vulnerable and shaky, driven with any wind that passes our way.

It’s important to keep asking ourselves: Who is making my life decisions? Is it really me?

If not, it is time for one to connect truly and honestly with oneself and honor all the learnings that originate from there, despite of how painful it may be. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and you’ll eventually be following a path of your own choice and liking.

Author's Bio: 

Razan Z. Kilani is a passionate Emotional Intelligence & Transformational Coach and Change Agent. She is the Owner of Wisdom Within Consultancy and Wisdom Within Coaching.
Prior to working as a Professional Coach, Razan had worked in background in Public Relations, the Media, Copyrighting, Advertising and Marketing. She is committed to making a difference in people's lives through partnering with them on a life-changing journey. Her coaching work centers around heightening client's awareness around their lives, finding their voice, encouraging self-discovery, tuning in to their inner wisdom, and becoming aware of their responsibility in their lives, and the choices they are making, and whether or not they are supporting them to achieve their goals or leading them to self-sabotage.
Razan has given workshops targeting different topics: Self-Help (e.g. Stress Management, Shifting Into Positivity, Regaining Self-Confidence, Self-Motivation, Effective Communication, Quality Relationships, Dealing with Teenage Children, Teacher-Student Communication, Passive Aggressive Behavior, Silencing Your Inner Critic, Surviving Ordeals like Cancer, etc.) and key corporate problems, like employees' lack of motivation, poor management, client satisfaction, and leadership. Razan has a Master’s degree in the Media and Cultural Studies (England) and speak four languages (English, Arabic, Spanish and French) as she has been exposed to international cultures all her life.
Wisdom Within Consultancy/ Wisdom Within Coaching (WWC) is a starting place for anyone seeking light in their day-to-day journey. Backed by solid knowledge, effective coaching tools and experience, WWC takes you on a self-discovery journey to support you to become whoever you 'really' want to be, and do whatever you wish to be doing in life; i.e. we take you to where you want to wake up every morning feeling energized, fulfilled and highly confident.