***"Why Loving Yourself Will Increase Your Ability to Be Intimate"
Written by Sandra Dawson, MA, the Offiicial Guide to Intimacy
When you truly love yourself, you easily meet all of your needs. You take care of your physical needs. You take care of your safety and security needs. You take care of your belonging and acceptance needs. You take care of your self-esteem needs, and you take care of all of your needs to realize your full-potential in life.
Imagine for a moment that you feel great, that you have no worries about finances, that you feel loved and loving, that you have only positive beliefs about yourself, and that you are living your life on purpose. When you love yourself, you are truly an independent person open to sharing love with another. You are no longer dependent upon someone loving you, so you can feel good about yourself. You feel good about yourself, and you want to share your love with another loving person like yourself.
Loving yourself will increase your ability to be intimate, because you will know your real self, and you will want to share yourself with someone who is as accepting of you as you are accepting of yourself. You will no longer think you must hide who you are. You will not put up with criticism and negative judgments. You will be open with your thoughts, your feelings and your desires, and if you feel rejected or put down for being your real self, you will say no thank to that relationship, and you will happily move on.
You were born truly loving yourself and you were completely open to meeting all of your needs as an infant, a toddler, and a grammar school child. If you were fortunate to have parents who respected your needs, tried to meet them, and soothed you when you were upset or stressed by something disappointing to you, you are probably very open to loving yourself today, and you are experiencing the power and joy of true self-love.
Most people are raised by parents who do not know how to love themselves, so they teach their children unloving beliefs and behaviors. If you were programmed to not love yourself, you can now make the choice to transform your life by learning what is blocking you from meeting all of your needs.
Loving yourself will give you powerful and wonderful feelings from sharing your real self with another person who accepts, admires and loves you for who you truly are. You will also feel safe being open about yourself and you will create a lasting and joyful bond with your partner, because you will be giving acceptance, admiration and love to your partner, just like he or she is giving acceptance, admiration and love to you.
Loving yourself will not only increase your ability to be intimate, it will also ensure your success in love and life. Your needs are constantly changing and when you love yourself, you give yourself permission to take care of all of your needs at every stage of your life.
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