Why Stay Married When Your Spouse Never Seems To Be There For You? When You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse

Why Stay Married When Your Spouse Never Seems To Be There For You? When You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse

Often, one of the big draws of getting married is knowing that, for the rest of your life, you're going to have a built in support system. You anticipate that you are always going to have some one who is there to listen, offer you their loving observations, and have your back should things go wrong. Although none of us exactly welcomes life challenges, many of us at least get comfort out of the fact that we aren't facing this life alone.

Unfortunately, after you have been married for a while, you can realize that the reality of this situation didn't turn out to be the way that you planned. You look around and you perceive that your spouse doesn't have your back after all. You feel lonely in your own home. And, at the time when you need them the very most, your spouse may be absent and just not there for you. This can make you wonder what is the point of being married.

Someone might complain: "for the last two years, both of my parents have been chronically ill. I am an only child. If only one of my parents were ill, then the other could take care of them. But, I don't have this luxury because they are both ill at once. So in addition for caring for the family that I live with, I have to care for my parents also. You would think that my husband would feel sympathy for me and try to help in anyway he could. This is what I would do for him. But no, he acts as if this whole thing is inconveniencing him. The other night, the hospital had to call in the middle of the night. I was operating on very sleep to begin with because I'd been there around the clock and then I would come home and try to care for my family. I thought that perhaps my husband would offer to drive me to the hospital since I was so sleep deprived. I thought he would offer to go with me for support. Nope. He sighed as if we were mad that the phone call woke him up. As an afterthought, he called 'be careful' as I was leaving. But that's apparently the best that he could do. That evening, I came home utterly exhausted. I had hoped he might make dinner or order take out, but then he proceeded to remind me that I'd promised to make him a certain meal. Obviously, I hadn't planned to make the meal, considering the circumstances - and I told him so. He's never been this selfish before. I don't get him. I am really hurt about this. But I am more angry. He should be there for me. He should do things to alleviate my pain. Instead, he seems to just pile on. I'm truly starting to wonder why I'm even married. I've started thinking that it would work out better if I moved my parents in with us, but I know he will freak out over that. I might just be better of without him. Why stay married if your spouse isn't there for you?"

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I agree that your husband could and should be doing better. Much better. But I'm not entirely sure that you should throw in the towel without trying a few things first - although I admit that this decision is certainly not mine. Ultimately, it is your life and you will have to make this call.

Understand That He May Not Know How To Handle This, Though His Intentions Might Be Good: In times of high stress, it's very common for people to lash out because they are at a loss of how to handle things. I am not making excuses for your husband. But even you said that this behavior wasn't exactly typical of him before this rough patch. You said that he's not typically selfish. So, before you just assume that he will never be himself again and accept that your marriage is broken, I'd suggest considering at least giving him a chance to rectify this.

You might have a conversation like: "honey, I don't want for this to come out the wrong way. But I would like to ask you for just a little more support. This is a very stressful time for me. It's not easy at the hospital. And when I come home, I would love just a hug or dinner or something to show me that you want to help me through this. Instead, I sometimes feel like this whole thing is annoying you. I wish we didn't have this stress. I wish things were wonderful and carefree the way that they used to be. But, I don't have that luxury right now. I can't turn my back on my parents. And I'm asking you to support me right now. I love you and I want for you to have my back."

Don't Imply That He's A Bad Husband. Just Try To Inspire Him To Rise To The Occasion: Try to keep your tone gentle. You don't want to sound accusatory as if you are calling him a bad husband or saying he's uncaring. You want for your tone to make him feel some empathy so that he will actually want to do better.

Again, I know it stinks when your spouse isn't there for you. But before you just give up, give him a chance to do better. Ask him for what you need. Men often don't know how to help us. They don't really know how to offer emotional support. For most of them, this hasn't ever been their role. So they may need help stepping into those shoes. These feels very awkward to them and so they just retreat. Let him know that you don't want him to retreat and that you need him. He may just rise to the occasion. And you will have a marriage that is a support system to you instead of another stressor.

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The leading cause of divorce in my opinion is not dealing with marriage problems early and often. All couples need to do is use their 5 senses to uncover marriage problems early on and fix them before they get too big to handle.

Sight - Being able to see your beautiful spouse is what probably got you two together in the first place. It could have been the sexy smile or innocent caring glance or just the attractive body you noticed. It was as though you could see right into his or her heart. You had 20/20 vision and could see clearly into the future and what you saw was spending the rest of your life together.

Now, fast forward to today! What happened to your ability to see the outer and inner beauty? The problem most likely is you lost focus. To solve your marriage problems refocus your priorities and make understanding the needs and desires of your spouse the most important thing in your life and your marriage issues will begin to disappear.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Hearing - Listen carefully and your marriage problems will be heard load and clear. Your spouse is probably trying to communicate with you but because your marriage problems have made you defensive, you don't really hear what is being said. Pay attention and managing your marriage problems will be easier.

Touch - What happens when you touch your spouse? Do they seem receptive or disgusted by your touch? This is a big clue into what's going on in your marriage. If you find it difficult to hug, caress and kiss your spouse this is a clear warning sign of trouble in your marriage. You will know when things are getting better in your marriage when touching is viewed as pleasure and not pain.

Smell - Hard to relate to this one for some but using the smell sense you can sniff out marriage issues. Have you heard of the expression "something doesn't smell right here"? Well hopefully it's not bad perfume or cologne. But, what if your spouse changed fragrances? Would you know or care? Well you should if your marriage problems are minimal. Get to know your spouses likes and dislikes and cater to them to improve your marriage.

Taste - Give your marriage a taste of what it's like to be problem free. If you deal with your marriage problems early on your marriage will taste good and you will have a strong liking for each other.

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If you're wondering if you can stop a divorce then the short answer is YES. But it's going to take some focused action and work.

Are you prepared for that?

If so then read this article to find out what to do...

How You Can Stop a Divorce...

Being in a place where your marriage is so close to crumbling that you're wondering can I stop my divorce can be scary.

It is possible to turn everything around even if you're the only one who wants to. That's the good new! The bad news is that it's going to be pretty difficult. But it's going to be worth it.

I know because I had to go through the task of saving my marriage basically alone. My wife was pretty much just fed up and wasn't much interested in doing any of the extra work that it would take.

So that left me alone.

It was very difficult to know what to do. All of the books that I read, and nearly all of the resources online were giving advice to couples, but not seemingly to be to anyone in my position who was wondering if I can stop a divorce even if my wife didn't want to.

I did eventually find some good resources that helped me...

Here's some of what I did...

The first thing I did was take the option of divorce totally off the table. I decided to not think of divorce as an option for a period of time. I chose 6 months. And then decided that if things were even a little bit better by then, then I'd give it another 6 months.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Then I stopped trying to change my wife's mind about stuff that bothered me. It's not hard to figure out, especially if you've been in a tough marriage for a while that you're not likely going to do any mind changing.

People must change their own minds, and no amount of arguing was going to bring my wife's way of thinking to match mine. I had to get a grip on that way of thinking.

I stopped complaining about things and even stopped complaining about all of her complaining and criticizing. That's never easy but it's necessary to get things going in the right direction.

So basically I stopped being defensive when she complained to me. Defensiveness is like adding fuel to a fire. Now you may think that I'm saying that you need to just sit and take your spouse's crap, and that's not true. You can say how you feel, but never argue about it further than that. State your case and move on!

I then focused on me and the 50% of the marriage that was in control of, and I went to work fixing those things that were in my 50% realm.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

When your husband falls out of love with you it can be an incredibly tough time - and you won't want to put up with it, and will search on ways on how to win your husband back. This is a good thing - it means that you are the active type and you will simply not sit back and wait while your marriage gets even more in trouble and your husband wants a divorce. At this point it's imperative that you learn the difficult phase you are going through in your marriage isn't very surprising - in each marriage such trouble takes place, because things in everyday life can bring even the best relationship down. Whether the marriage is actually going to end or not depends on how active you are in trying to win your husband back and save your marriage.

To get on track on how to win your husband back, the first thing you have to learn is to acknowledge the changes that occurred in both you and your husband, compared to the first time you were married. It is completely natural that sometimes couples can be detached from each other - no one can be supposed to feel the same 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. What you need to know is that in men, these things happen differently. When you feel that your husband is falling out of love with you; you, as a woman, want to fix this situation as soon as possible. Whereas your husband, being a man, isn't as comfortable about discussing emotions as you are, and he would just like to sort it out himself by sitting around nad waiting. Just by waiting a man's love for his husband can come back. This means that to win your husband back you need to restrain yourself from making him talk about his feelings every time you think he is falling out of love with you. If you force your husband to say that he doesn't love you anymore, this can have dire consequences; as men operate very differently and the mere physical utterance of that will make it a reality for him. You don't want that - just give your husband some space if you want to get your husband to love you again.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

While you give space to your husband and leave him alone, you can use this time to focus upon yourself to win your husband back. A very important occurrence in marriages is that as women, we put our own needs, hobbies, likes and dislikes to one side, and focus upon our family's needs. However, doing this forgoes the "real" relationship you have with your husband - the reason you married - which is the fact that you are your husband's romantic partner. Forgetting this role might be why your husband falls out of love with you. So, a good way on how to win your husband back is to focus on yourself and pick up some new interests and hobbies, and devote some time to yourself in which you will only chase "your dreams". This will make your husband realize that you are still that lively woman he married, and will regain his interest.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.