Every event in life is neutral, and it is you and your response which gives meaning to the event. So, when you ask God, or some higher power, "Why did this terrible event happen to me?" you are probably perceiving the "event" as a negative one.

When you lose a loved one to death or have a child facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, it is very difficult to step back, be objective, and see the ultimate good that may result from the situation. Instead, the world feels as if it is crashing down without relief in sight. And, be assured, no one expects a different response from you at the inception of your loss.

You might also sit and wonder, since you feel you have led a "good" life, why "bad" things are happening to you. Consider the thought that God, by whatever name you call Him, is not a vengeful being. He did not pick you out from the masses so that you should suffer nor does He want you to feel forever powerless.

If you are able to adjust your perspective and try to look at every event, both good and bad, as an opportunity for growth, perhaps you can start to make sense of the situation in which you may find yourself. In your rational mind, you know that the event has already taken place, and it is impossible to go back and change the outcome. There are things that you can do, though. Instead of just reacting, you hold in your hands the ability to decide how you will respond to the situation and live your life from that moment onwards.

Even if you are still caught up in a maelstrom of negativity, open your mind for a few moments and try to figure out what lessons can be learned from the events that surround you. It is either an opportunity to learn or to teach a valuable lesson. For example, in the instance of a child losing a parent, you are given the opportunity to be a strong role model. One way in which you may reclaim your power is by showing your child, by example, how to recover from adversity through hard work and a pro-active attitude.

I believe the reason so-called bad things happen to good people is that these people are the ones who have the ability to turn a negative situation into a positive one. They have the inner strength and resources to persevere; to look for answers and solutions; and to help repair the world in both small and large ways.

There are so many instances in which the parents of a child who has been kidnapped, abused, had physical disabilities to overcome, etc. have taken the situation and turned it into a positive experience. After these parents have learned all their lessons, they turn around and put their hand out to help the next person who may find himself in similar circumstances. Foundations are created; research facilities are built; the world at large becomes more informed; and people find goodness and compassion in their souls to reach out to others.

No one wants to encounter adversity, but it is a precious few who are not touched by some sort of loss. When it is your turn, by changing your perspective a couple of degrees to the positive, you can change your life and the world around you!

Author's Bio: 

LN Gerst is the author of A Practical Guide To Widow/erhood. Born out of LN's own experiences as a young widow, A Practical Guide provides suggestions to help a griever re-adjust each aspect of his/her life without his/her loved one. LN has also written two books for grieving children: Let's Get A Grip on Grief (for ages 5-8) and Let's Get a Grasp on Grief (for ages 9-12), as well as an Internet dating and relationship guide: Surfing For Love In All The Right Ways. All titles may be ordered as e-books at www.lngerst.com