We, as women, are brought up to be nurturers, to take care of everyone else.
We are so good at reminding our spouse or boyfriend, to call his mother on her birthday, get the perfect gift for his boss, and make sure he doesn’t forget about his doctor appointments. We tell our children to believe in themselves, speak up for themselves and hold their head high. My question is, who does that for us?

As women, we are taught to give and give, to nurture, love, and protect. The other message we receive is that by putting everyone else first we are being unselfish, and are seen as “good” mothers and partners. This is supposed to be positive. On the other hand, if we ask, “what about me?” we are called selfish and ungrateful. Well, I have news for you, ladies … that is not true, that is a lie that our society, ourselves included, have perpetuated. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, it is actually healthy. And the biggest lie ever, is to believe that you can empower your children and have them feel self-confidant, when you deny yourselves the care you need to nurture yourself. Children follow the example of what you do, how you act, and how you treat yourself, not what you say.

High self-esteem and self-confidence, unfortunately does not come automatically with birth, it has to be taught by example or learned through life. Unless you were one of the few fortunate ones, who had parents who knew and practiced unconditional love and support, you were probably raised by parents, who did the best they could, coming from their own childhood of criticism and negativity. How high was their self-esteem?

That is where empowerment comes in. The time is NOW to work on feeling empowered. Many ask me, what do I mean by empowered? I am talking about self-confidence of course, but more than that, it is KNOWING that you can handle it. You have the belief that whatever life throws at you, you will find a way to deal with it. You are resourceful. You are resilient. It is the opposite feeling of powerlessness, helplessness and completely contrary to feeling like a victim or a martyr. It comes from learning to be self-confidant as a result of living through the difficulties and challenges of life. You become not just a survivor, but also victorious and stronger. Empowerment is something we all deserve to feel. It makes us redefine life. We start seeing obstacles as challenges. We see failures as learning experiences, and fear of the unknown, which may have paralyzed us in the past, is now seen as just another obstacle to overcome. Self-confidence gives us the determination and trust that we can get through it. We now know, we have the skills, the capabilities and the belief that nothing can stop us when we have the intention to succeed.

Author's Bio: 

Rhonda Rabow, M.A. is a psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience in the counselling field. She has recently published an e-book entitled, "Discover the 3 Secrets to Living Happily Ever After". You can read free excerpts from this book as well as sign up for her FREE newsletter, get FREE STUFF and read previous self-empowering articles at www.rhondarabow.com, www.helphelpmerhonda.ca or email her at RERabow@aol.com

Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
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