If your husband cheated, I’m truly sorry about that. I know that this is a very difficult time your life and things always seem so much more difficult when you are dealing with a cheating partner in your life.

But isn’t it time you took responsibility?

Of course, I’m not saying that it’s your fault that your husband cheated or that you are somehow to blame. Ultimately, it was his choice to do what he did. There is no denying that.

But now it is your turn to take personal responsibility for what happens from here on out.

First, you need to remind yourself that you create your life. I know that things are probably very chaotic right now, and it seems like your entire life is probably falling apart.

However, you must take responsibility for your own life. Remember, that no matter what happens, you alone are responsible for your happiness. Only you can create joy in your life and only you can take joy away from yourself. That responsibility doesn’t fall on any other person or outside circumstance.

Maybe this is something you even already believe, but trust me, nothing will test your faith in this belief more than discovering your husband cheated on you. But know that this doesn’t change anything. You are still 100% responsible for your own emotional well-being.

Second, you must accept reality. It is easy to resist bad news like this when it enters into your life. Some women look the other way or refuse to admit the truth to themselves. But this isn’t going to change anything or change the circumstances that your husband, in fact, cheated on you.

This also doesn’t mean that you need to go to the other extreme either and get lost in nightmarish fantasies about all the things that the two of them did together. Without knowing for certain what did or did not happen, everything else is just a guess no matter how real or horrible the thoughts may seem.

Your responsibility here is to dwell in reality, neither distorting nor deleting it, but just accepting it as it is.

Third, you must remember to take time for you. Many women say that they have had very little fun or time for themselves after discovering their spouse’s affair. Life just seems like one endless list of responsibilities, chores, and forced smiles.

But that isn’t healthy. It is important for you to do things that you enjoy form time to time. This will help you reconnect with your own sense of humanity and help you balance your life out.

If you simply try to approach life in a robotic fashion, you’ll eventually fall into depression. Although dealing with a cheating husband isn’t a happy thing to deal with, it doesn’t mean that you need to spiral into depression either.

Just as with the first point, you must remind yourself that you alone are responsible for your own joy, and you are more than entitled to find something in this world that makes you happy.

Author's Bio: 

If you're ready to stop feeling like a victim and start dealing with an unfaithful spouse in a healthy and proactive way, I strongly suggest you check out Dr Gunzburg's Marriage Sherpa for a proven plan toward healing.

Alex Haight is a relationship writer helping women with relationship problems and specializing in affairs and infidelity.