Sorry, you’re just not worth it.

It’s nothing personal. I’d say this to anyone. I do love you and don't blame you at all. Still, no matter what you do or say, you’re not worth me getting upset or hurt over.

You see, like you I have a light that burns within me. It is fueled by my essence. When I’m happy and at peace my light burns brightly. I am strong. My light also radiates to others and it spreads. The strength of my flame is dependent upon my level of joy. It grows stronger the more I love and the more I enjoy.

I work hard to grow this flame. I’ve worked at it throughout my entire life. It’s one of the things I do best, as it’s been my life long aim. I have four college degrees, but the topic I’ve studied the most is how to grow personally – to find my light and strengthen it to serve.

First I spent years healing the wounds that I’d endured. I reevaluated beliefs about others and about myself, and blasted the negative ones. I looked for Me and finally found the source of my flame. Oh the profound joy when I remembered who I was. I’ll never forget that time. Once found I began to forge a path to strengthen the light. I knew that the fuel would be love and joy. I found thoughts, feelings and beliefs that interfered with the source of infinite love, and obliterated them with new wisdom.

My new journey involves constantly looking for and finding new sources of joy and opening my heart to more love. This is a continual process and takes a lot of dedication, perseverance and determination. This process has been compared to the peeling of an onion. My onion has a very sweet smelling heart. The layers seem infinite. There are layers upon layers of misunderstanding that fall away with the new illumination of understanding.

I have had to restart the flame countless times after I’ve been hurt emotionally or invalidated. I don’t blame you for this pain or invalidation. I blame me for honoring and accepting it. I take full responsibility for being blown out. I’m the one who accepts the negativity and makes the decision to be happy or not. I make the decision to believe words of cynicism or abuse. I’ve let myself believe that I’m broken and inferior when others say so. I’m the one who plays the role of victim. I do this when I don’t take responsibility for my own pain and for creating a fulfilling life. I do this when I believe the negative emotions or thoughts that others send my way – if I take negativity personally. Sometimes I even take responsibility for your pain. Boy, that’s a tough nut to crack. It’s impossible for me to heal your pain. You have do it, just as I have to heal mine.

Don’t feel bad. It’s not just you that hurts me. I got mad at a zipper recently, when it got stuck (OK, when I messed it up). I even get upset or angry with me – like the time I dropped a bottle on my foot. Or, when I spilled raspberry juice on the newly cleaned floor. Now that was important! You’re not the only one who beats me up. In fact, I may be my worst enemy. I couldn’t live with someone who criticized me as much as I do. So, it’s not your problem. It’s mine.

Still, I have to say it again. You’re not worth it. I can’t get upset when you are. I can’t believe your negative thoughts or criticism. I can’t get hurt when you say something mean, whether you mean to or not. You see I have this flame. I have to keep it lit. It’s my job. If I do – if I succeed in making it even stronger – you may feel its light. And, I will feel blessed if it brightens your life.

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Copyright Deborah Hill 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Author's Bio: 

As an experienced practitioner of more than twenty years, Deborah Hill brings an extra intuitive dimension to coaching and speaking, and training, helping clients and audiences to quickly gain insight, work through obstacles, tap into their own power source and unleash their true potential for success and fulfillment. Her uncommon gifts of intuitive insight and interpersonal communications have changed people’s lives, businesses and relationships.

Maybe it’s Deborah’s four degrees in medicine and psychology, her experience in business and life, or her unique talent for peeling away the layers, that allows her to quickly see into and communicate with people at a deep, level that is at once familiar, truthful, surprising and transformative.