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Browse published articles attributed to Chris Hammer, with full-archive search.
There seems to be a lot written about mindfulness lately, and so I’ve sort of steered away from the topic. But I was reminded again recently about how important a topic it really is: how one simple practice can make such a difference to one’s well-being.
After a meeting with a client today I was struck at how positive my mood was. I reflected on why this was, and I came to the conclusion that it really boiled down to authenticity: to the opportunity for both of us to just ‘be real’. We both took advantage of that space that coaching affords – the space to just be able to speak openly and honestly, and to join one another as human beings sharing the human condition. I thought about how important ‘being real’ really is, and about how difficult it is to define what this really means.
I’ve recently been trying to get ahold of someone to come and take a look at a problem I’m having with my roof. I’ve left three messages with this particular company, and none have been returned. Similarly, a few months ago I needed to get a potential moisture problem in my basement looked at. I phoned two different companies numerous times – one called me back once, but I missed the call and they were never to be heard from again. The other company booked a total of three appointments with me and did not show for any of them.
You are a leader. Stake your claim to what is yours. It’s very empowering to acknowledge, celebrate, and truly own all of the aspects of our existence. And each of us is a leader on some level: at home, at work, in the community… through formal or informal roles. Whether a CEO or a stay-at-home parent, we all have the ability to inspire others and create action through our ideas, words, and examples.
Good leaders in any capacity, whether managers at work or parents at home, need help from others. They need the right people to take on the right tasks – the tasks for which they don’t possess the right amount of knowledge, skill, or time to do themselves; or the tasks that others should be doing for their own learning and growth. So here's how to ask for help:
I ran into some old friends last weekend, and immediately I felt a new sense of energy – catching my ‘second wind’ after a rather tiring morning. I think this happened for two reasons: one, simply because I was happy to see them, and two, because they’re very successful. I won’t get into the types of successes they’ve achieved, because that’s irrelevant: we all carry different definitions of success in different areas (finance, health, leadership, relationships, all of the above…). The point is that these people make me want to be my best.
You’re likely reading this article because you’ve been thinking about your own spiritual development, or because you’ve had some sort of spiritual experience that’s made you look more closely at the topic. Or maybe you’re just interested in spirituality just for the sake of interest. In any case, I just wanted to share with you a bit about what I had found in my dissertation research a few years back.
I sat down to write this article today and I experienced a bit of a block – which ironically caused me some stress. And as I struggled with how to formulate the topic, I began to think about the process of writing itself, and how it might feel to actually ‘be a writer’ – to derive great natural enjoyment from being immersed in the process; easily getting into a state of ‘flow’. As I pondered on this I just began to type my thoughts (which I’ve actually saved elsewhere, likely to be used in another article).
Someone asked me the other day if I thought that we really ‘know ourselves’. The surface answer to this question, I thought, is yes. Do you know what your favourite colour is? What you like and dislike? What you value and what you avoid? What you want out of life, for you and your family? If you’ve ever given any thought to these things, then yes, you can safely say you know yourself. However, there is a deeper level to this: a level where the answer to this question is quite possibly no.
Most of us plan reasonably well: we easily decide what to wear in the morning, what to have for dinner in the evening, what route to take to work. We also plan without too much difficulty the tasks of our jobs: how we prioritize our to-do lists, the most efficient ways to get things done…
When I started coaching some time back, I made it my mission to absorb as much information as I could about leadership (specifically in the areas of interpersonal effectiveness and good communication): devouring books on leadership models, leadership coaching, business, etc. I interviewed leaders on different levels in different sectors, and noted their common themes and struggles. I spoke with numerous teams to hear their experiences…
Have you ever wondered how to become a leader if you're not what you'd consider "leadership material"? Can anyone be a leader? Simply stated, anyone can become a leader by having the ability and desire to take on such a role; and by having the opportunity to step into or create the role. Some people just seem better equipped for leadership, of course, but I like to think that we can all be leaders in any area in which we feel a sense of passion and investment.
Research has shown that people perform at higher levels when they are coached as opposed to “managed”. So, you might be asking, what is coaching, in a nutshell? What are some of the tools I can use as a leader? How, specifically, do I have a “coaching” conversation?
I’m an introvert. And so are many other reasonably bright, well-rounded, effective individuals. So it’s not a bad thing. But I do believe that to be most effective, the introverted leader should examine what this personality style can mean in the context of leadership – and know how to leverage it successfully. (And if you’re more of an extroverted leader by nature, this is still worth paying attention to: to lead well you need to understand all types of personalities – including the introverts).
I’m the first to admit that I’m not a natural-bo writer. The words don’t always come easily, and I often don't know exactly what it is I want to say. So why am I writing this article? It’s primarily because I want to: I do have things to say, and I do want to share them with others. I’ve also decided that writing articles is good for my business because it helps to keep me in front of potential clients and customers.
Are you in a position to influence others – at work, at home, in your community? Is having influence important to your position or cause (as a manager, parent, or someone with a vision who’s trying to create something better)? Do the ways in which you exert your influence tend to work well; and do you know how to be more influential?
Leadership skills and relationship development are two of the biggest themes I see in my coaching practice. This article is about two of the most common mistakes (and remedies) I see in these areas:
How much autonomy is appropriate to give? Empowering our children, employees, or anyone we’re leading is, we know, the best way to improve satisfaction, motivation, and commitment – but it also takes the right style to pull it off successfully. Do you tend to micromanage others: monitoring even the most routine tasks to ensure success (even if it’s done in the most gentle, people-friendly way)? Or do you allow others to express their creativity, make their own decisions, and learn from trial and error? Or do you do a bit of both, depending on the person and circumstance?
There are many different styles of leadership with varying degrees of effectiveness. A people-centered approach is probably best in general; but only if partnered with sound knowledge and skill, and delivered in an authoritative style (a strong focus on relationship with the ability to appropriately set limits and apply corrective action).
I’d like to say that when I was younger I knew exactly what I was doing with my life and where I was going – but the truth is that in the early years I really just sort of ‘wandered about’ without any clear direction or defined goals. And I do believe that some of the paths I did have in mind back then would likely have led to a destinatio I wouldn’t be happy with today. But how do you know what you don’t know?
Some time ago I had written an article on claiming your leadership. I suppose this article could be a follow-up to that after some recent, disheartening, personal observations. We talk about things like distributed leadership, a person-centered, authoritative approach, leading from the ground up, building solid teams and trusting your people – and many other best practice leadership buzzwords and concepts. In short, we know what works. We know which types of leadership strategies and habits are effective and which should have died a long time ago.
We've all likely seen the Latin aphorism, "Nosce Te Ipsum" on the plaque sitting on the bookshelf in our doctor's office - or even hanging over the Oracle's door in "The Matrix" (thanks to Wikipedia for that). Or if not, we've almost certainly heard time and again the English translation, "Know Thyself". The suggestion to "Know thyself" is certainly a lofty one: a time immemorial line of philosophical and religious inquiry and debate with no definate answers. A personal ponderance that can be crazy-making if we're not careful.
Thomas Edison once said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up”. Think about the meaning of that statement for a moment. Really. Imagine pouring hours upon hours of effort and hope into something important to you – then giving it all up when you hit that certain level of discouragement.
In previous articles we’ve looked at getting clear on what you want to accomplish in your relationships, and why. Now let’s look at the next step to developing the connections in your life: examining what you’re bringing to the table… The way to strengthen or develop a relationship is to identify what is already working – or at least the possibilities and potential – as well as an awareness of what isn’t. We can then maximize the positive aspects of the relationship while working together to develop and practice more adaptive alte atives to what’s broken.
We all think of making changes in our lives; but making the decision to move forward and shake things up isn’t always easy. I wrote an article some time ago about motivation and goals; the premise being that you don’t necessarily have to be motivated to act. I still believe this to be true, of course; but we also know that motivation isn’t the only reason we fail to move forward with things.
We hear the term “life balance” a lot – but what does it really mean? And how do we find and maintain it? I think there are two answers to these questions. The first has to do with looking at the various roles and responsibilities in our lives; and accurately and honestly assessing how we’re establishing our priorities and directing our energy. The second, I believe, has to do with recognizing and managing our internal conflicts.
Where can you use the 80/20 rule in your work and life? In one part of my life I work as a consultant in the public sector. In another I work as a coach; with both life coaching and corporate clients. I also have other businesses in completely unrelated fields including pet supplies, parenting products, and nutritional supplements. The other parts of my life are spent in leisure activities with my family.
I write a lot about motivation because its something I’m always struggling to capture and hang onto myself; and its elusive nature interests me. I’ve talked about various ways of looking at and trying to capture motivation; and some work better than others at different times in different situations. But the one point that consistently sticks for me is the fact that it really is elusive: in other words, you can’t just “get” it.
A big part of developing and strengthening your relationships is about really knowing the important people in your life. We all know many people on a superficial or even friendly level; but how much do we really know about who they are under the exterior we see and interact with every day?
I was following up on warm business lead the other day, to which I experienced an unexpected emotional and physical reaction. The woman on the other end thanked me for contacting her, but then concluded with, “We already have what we need, so please remove us from your distribution list.” When I heard this message I immediately got a bit of a knot in my stomach. For a brief moment I felt a little fearful, uncertain, and angry – both with her and with myself. Granted, all these thoughts and feelings were fleeting and not very intense; but they were there. In short, I felt discouraged.
There is much written about how to improve motivation and hold onto it. Unfortunately, motivation is one of those things that easily elude us. Where does motivation come from? How do we get it and make it stick? Can we really do or say anything to motivate another person if it has to come from within?
Communication in the workplace has to do with how we interact with our colleagues on many different levels simultaneously. It has to do with how we plan and convey the messages we want to give, both verbally and nonverbally; and with how we listen to, interpret, and respond to others’ messages. And one way to characterize the successful execution of this is to say that we’ve engaged in effective dialogue.
I heard a great quote recently that got me to thinking about what it means to be optimistic: “If life doesn’t give you at least a little sugar as well, your lemonade’s gonna suck”. In other words, a positive attitude isn’t always sufficient in and of itself.
I'll start off by saying that this article isn’t really about the flu shot at all, per se - it's actually about making decisions. What brought his topic to mind, though, is that I’ve recently decided to forego the shot this year and go the natural health route instead. Is this because I know better than those who advocate the vaccination? No. Might I end up regretting not getting the shot? Maybe. I don’t know.
The study of leadership is certainly not a new one, and there are almost too many theories to count. A quick internet search, however (psychology.about.com), identifies that most of the different leadership theories that have emerged over the years can be classified into a handful of major types: “Great Man” Theoriesr Trait Theoriesr Contingency Theoriesr Situational Theoriesr Behavioral Theoriesr Parcipitative Theoriesr Relationship Theories/Transformational Leadership Management theories/Transactional Leadership.
There was a poll awhile ago on a writers’ site asking authors to share how long it typically takes them to write their articles. As I looked through the posted replies I was quite surprised at the average length it actually takes people to complete something that they are comfortable publishing. Why this information caught me so off guard was because of the assumptions I had held about myself: I had assumed that I wasn’t a ‘natural writer’, and for that reason it naturally took me a lot longer than most other people. But it turns out that I was wrong.
We all have certain goals and dreams, but we often keep them to ourselves. Here are three great reasons why you should share them out loud: 1. Feedback: First off, when we share our goals and dreams with others we solicit their feedback about them. This isn’t always helpful, of course, but it certainly can be. People often have very good ideas if we give them a chance. They might have a resource we could use to help get us closer to the goal, or they might have a suggestion that might make it easier to attain.
Who I was twenty years ago is certainly not who I am today. Or so I used to like to think… When I look back at myself at that time I see someone with a pretty different set of ideals, values, beliefs, and ways of being in the world. And quite frankly, I like today’s me much better. But what I’ve learned, through lots of self-reflection, is that trying to deny who I was back then was causing me to be inauthentic. And as a person who values authenticity, I’ve had to reexamine this practice:
I’m going to stick with the theme of motivation for another article; simply because it’s been on my mind lately as I continue to spend the time developing new products and services. This isn’t easy for me to do; I struggle with motivation at times just like the rest of us.
We know that solid and meaningful relationships are critical to our happiness and success. The connectedness we experience with others provides comfort when we need it; intellectual stimulation when we want it; and reciprocity of love when we share it. It allows us to get our needs met and to meet the needs of others.
For those of us who work for a living, for ourselves or for someone else, career satisfaction is something we’d most definitely like to achieve. And career satisfaction is certainly an achievable goal – but it’s important that the term “satisfaction” be defined correctly for each one of us. In other words, if you want career satisfaction, you first need to identify what this really means to you. There is no empirical right or wrong: however you define career satisfaction is up to you. As long as it’s done honestly, is what’s right for you.
If you’re thinking about how to make good decisions in your life, you might want to explore some strategic planning models. Truth be told, I don’t know a lot about strategic planning – but the one thing that’s always stuck with me is this: “The cardinal rule is to take the path that allows you to change course if your initial decision proves wrong”.