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Browse published articles attributed to Dr. Charles and Dr Elizabeth Schmitz, with full-archive search.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Make no mistake about it – great marriages require unencumbered time! You have read our musings about the fundamental predisposition of every human being to have time alone – to have time only to their private thoughts.
Reflections on Love and Marriage By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . This coming Monday, we will celebrate our 41st Wedding Anniversary. Just imagine, being successfully married for 41 years!
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. According to the available research evidence, there are several periods in a marriage that seem, on average, to be particularly troublesome – the first year, the seventh year, the fifteenth year, and the 30th year. Marriages that survive and thrive beyond 30 years have virtually no chance of ending in divorce!
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. At the end of every interview we conduct with happily and successfully married couples we ask the most powerful question of our interview protocol – “Can you imagine life without your spouse?” The question always draws tears to the eyes of the couple we are interviewing. We have asked them a question they have repressed. It is a question no loving couple wants to think about. The answer is, however, nearly always the same – “No!”
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Did you ever wonder why some people find the perfect person to marry, do so, and enjoy a love affair that lasts a lifetime? On the other hand, some marry a person that is wrong for them now, wrong for them tomorrow, and wrong for them for a lifetime? What’s the difference? Why do some succeed at love and marriage where others fail?
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There is absolutely no question about it, great marriages require time alone – time away from each other! We have witnessed time and time again marriages in which one or both partners failed to understand the importance of being alone, not only for themselves, but for their spouse as well. When we first introduce this concept to others, the reaction is usually one of surprise.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Over our 44 years of marriage we have met thousands of couples that deeply loved each other. We have interviewed many, many of them for our several books on successful marriage.
Love, Marriage, and Prenuptial Agreements By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . We believe that Prenuptial Agreements are a bad idea, period! Just imagine, telling someone that you love him or her, but you don't trust them!
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. The fact of the matter is this -- marriage is alive and well in the United States and around the world! It is the single greatest contributor to social order on planet Earth. And the fact of the matter is this -- marriage is the most profound commitment to lasting love that exists. Those who question its importance ignore the facts. Statistically, there is substantial support for our point of view.
Love Is Like Learning To Dance By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors"
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. The “heart of the matter” is this – successful marriages around the world are bound together by their commonalities – certainly not by their differences. Learn the lessons, emulate them, practice them, take them to heart, and engage in the simple acts that make great marriage work every day. For more than 26 years, we have traveled the world in search of the best marriages. Our travels have taken us to five of the world’s seven continents and to nearly 40 countries.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. In our many travels around the world conducting our marriage research, we are often ask this question – “Does Marriage Improve With Age?” The answer is, YES! Here’s why.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Over the past several days, we have been in sunny southern California conducting interviews with selected celebrities including a former priest and his wife and couples with very famous last names. Tomorrow, we tape a segment of the television show, Lifestyle Magazine. It has been a fun trip so far.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Our ongoing search for the world’s best marriages took us to Gibraltar today, or as some refer to it – the Rock of Gibraltar. Doing interviews with happily married couples there seemed like a nice transitional thing to do since we are on our way to North Africa to interview Muslim couples for the first time in our many travels around the world. We will land in Morocco on Thursday.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We are currently on an East Coast swing promoting our new book, Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2010, available wherever books are sold).
Are You Scaring Away Your Chance At Love? By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Several months ago we penned an article entitled, “Great Love Is Best Not Rushed.” Our principle theme was this – in the beginning of a budding love relationship, don’t get in a hurry in your quest for love and companionship. To do so will often result in a failed relationship because one of you will run away before the relationship is cemented if you feel pressured! And that would be too bad.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. This Holiday Season again reminds us of the importance of being with those you love as you celebrate the joy of the season. We have heard repeatedly during our many interviews with successfully married couples around the world the importance they attach to seeing their children over the holidays and on other special occasions. A parent’s love is with you everywhere. Every time you are far from home you are never alone. Your parents are always with you.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. How will I know when I find Mr. Right? What if I am making a big mistake? Is he really the ONE, or should I walk away? These are critical questions women must ask themselves when they try to decide whether to move on with a serious relationship or whether to they decide to move on to find the real Mr. Right.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We know how you feel! Starting over is really difficult when it comes to love and marriage. Getting a divorce, breaking up, or losing the one you love due to their death can be overwhelmingly painful. The simple truth is this – you entered into your loving relationship with another person expecting it to last forever.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There is an old saying among those who specialize in statistical data, and it goes like this – “Statistics are for liars and damn liars.” The famous Missourian, Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) said it even better when he opined “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so!” More on these notions later. Meanwhile, back at the ranch.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. It appears that the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, has admitted to having an affair.
Physical Love By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . Now that we have your attention . . . We completed our annual physical examinations today. Long ago we established the tradition of scheduling our respective annual physicals on the same day. Why, you ask?
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. If you are like us, you are sick and tired of all the debate about what constitutes a successful marriage or relationship. Does it really matter what others think about OUR love, who we marry, or what makes us happy in life? Shouldn’t the real question be, “What does it take to sustain a loving relationship for a lifetime?”
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Have you ever heard of the so-called “hormone of love” called Oxytocin? This hormone has been promoted in some circles as “promoting long-term attachment” between two people who purport to love each other. Some have even suggested a “shot-in-the-arm of this substance” to make the world more lovely and loveable – to make two people more attracted to each other.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We have been engaged in marriage research for nearly three decades around the world and have never been asked this question until recently – “Are there words or phrases you listen for when you interview the best marriages around the world?” This is a great question and we are delighted to share the answer with our thousands of loyal readers around the world.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. For the past five days we have been in two remarkable cities – Tangiers and Casablanca, Morocco. We came to Morocco by boat from Tarifa, Spain – a distance across the Mediterranean Sea of just nine miles.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. With our fast paced society and the ever increasing demands of everyday life, more and more couples are finding that negativity is taking over their relationship. An abrupt interject of positivity into a relationship is the only way to change the environment before it is too late. From our three decades of research with successfully married couples, here are the 5 tips for jolting your relationship out of a negative rut:
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. This is the time of the year when so many of us make promises to ourselves and to others that we rarely ever keep! These so-called “New Year’s Resolutions” sound good when we make them but, all too often, we ignore them by Valentine’s Day. You know the familiar refrains – I will lose weight. I will quit smoking. I will call my Mom at least once a week. And the list goes on. How about you do something different this year.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. As you know, infidelity stories were at an all-time high in the media this year—from former Senator John Edwards and South Carolina Governor Terry Sanford to Late Night host David Letterman and Golfer Tiger Woods. It’s enough to make many people wonder if long-term marriage is even possible!
Remember the television show, “Seinfeld?” Like you, we laughed ourselves silly over the antics of the show. It was funny and full of uproarious one-liners. When Jerry Seinfeld decided to promote the idea of a new show called “The Marriage Ref,” he and everyone else surely imagined that it would be a hit. Why would anyone expect anything different? But now, reality is up against the truth. And the simple truth is this – marital problems aren’t funny to the couples going through the trials and tribulations of the various marital challenges all marriages go through.
Simple Things Matter In Love and Relationships By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitzr "the marriage doctors"
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We owe our moms a lot. While we are lucky that we get to have them around, we have to find a balance between helping our mom and nurturing our own marriage. Over-committing time in a helping relationship at the expense of your marriage will, in the long run, not benefit you, your mom or your spouse. First, you will need to help your mom understand just how important it is to you to have a successful and loving relationship with your spouse.
Real Love Is Colorblind By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. The romantic 1955 movie, Love is a Many Splendored Thing, tells the story of an American reporter who falls in love with a Eurasian doctor. And as you might have guessed, they encounter prejudice from both of their families. Such prejudice was, unfortunately, all too common in 1955. It is all too common in 2011.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Recently, we discovered a new singing group called Pink Martini. Our daughter put us on to this group several weeks ago so we downloaded them from iTunes. We have been grooving to their sounds ever since! They are utterly delightful and we highly recommend them to you as we have to many others. They reside in Portland, Oregon.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There is something about the summer that encourages love. Maybe it’s the bright summer sun. It could be the warm summer breeze. Maybe it’s the refreshing summer water! Perhaps, it is the summer vacation. And isn’t the All Star Game played in the middle of the summer? In fact, baseball lovers know the All Star Game is played in our home town of St. Louis this summer. Whatever the cause, it appears that most people fall in love during the summer and get married during the summer – more than in any other season of the year.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Commit to the seven core values of successful love and marriage and you can make your Valentine’s Day the best ever.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. First, here are the facts. If you get married before the age of 24 in the USA, you have a MUCH higher chance of getting divorced than those who get married at 25 and beyond. The divorce rate for those getting married after the age of 25 is about 30% -- less than half the divorce rate for those getting married before the age of 24! This is a very significant difference we think!
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We believe that Prenuptial Agreements are a bad idea, period! Just imagine, telling someone that you love him or her, but you don't trust them! To us, this is analogous to having two separate checking accounts in a marriage -- one for him and one for her. In both cases it becomes a case of yours and mine. Or, how about this, “I love you with the following conditions.” Whatever happened to US? We? Love without conditions?
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. While times are tougher than normal in the country today, the best marriages and love affairs will sustain the test of tough times for all the right reasons – during good or bad times the best loving relationships find ways to survive and thrive.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Prince William and Kate Middleton have dated each other since their days at the University of St. Andrews in England. However, some divorce lawyers say the second-in-line to the throne of England would be “well advised” to seek a prenuptial agreement. Kate was born in Reading, England. We are proud to say we have been there and have interviewed successfully married couples in that fair city.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We have said for many years, “Most marriages and relationships can be saved, but not all!” And our corollary has always been – “Most marriages and relationships are worth saving, but not all!” Here’s what we mean. In the case of abuse – sexual, physical, mental – many failing marriages and relationships are simply not worth saving. In fact, to attempt to save them puts one or both partners in the relationship at risk for further abuse. Frankly, we know that some marriages and relationships are not worth saving.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. It is said that some 200 million stems of roses will be sold in the USA on Valentine's Day 2011. Imagine that! That’s a lot of expressions of love don’t you think! We Americans love Valentine’s Day. We relish the opportunity to express our love to the one we love, and we do it through multiple venues.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. We are delighted this week to be in the romantic capitol of the world—Paris, France! We are here on another leg of our endless search for great marriages around the world. First, a few facts about love and marriage in France that you might want to know. In 2012, the French average age for marriage of woman is about 28 and for men it is about 30. The average birth of children to French woman occurs a little under the age of 30.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. As our loyal readers know, we have been researching successful marriage around the world for nearly three decades. We have travelled to 47 countries on six of the world’s seven continents in search of the best marriages.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Dear Friends: Tomorrow, we celebrate our 45th Wedding Anniversary! We got married at the Lutheran Church of the Master on Santa Monica Boulevard in Santa Monica, California in 1966. It is amazing to realize that so many years have passed so quickly! But we will say this to you -- we were lucky to find the love of our life so many years ago. Frankly, we cannot imagine life without each otherrnr
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. There are times when we just want to retire to a remote island in the South Pacific! Why, you ask? Simple, really.
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Here we go again – interviewing successfully married couples around the world!
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Like us, we are sure many of you have been following the on-going saga surrounding the so-called “reality” show, Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Well, it seems like Jon and Kate are going to go their separate ways – divorce seems eminent. Ah, but apparently, the show must go on in spite of their impending divorce. Where to begin! As you know, we have been studying successful love, marriage, and relationships for over 25 years.
What Makes Love and Relationships Last? By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz "the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage (Available at Amazon.com) . We have been saying for years and our 25 years of marriage research proves it – having a successful loving relationship is simple to understand! Yes, simple!