Skip to content

Browse Topics Find an Expert Search About

Log InLog In Contribute

Browse Topics Find an Expert Search About

Home/
Articles

Browse SelfGrowth articles

Loading the searchable article library…

SelfGrowth.comThe Self Improvement Guide

Explore experts, guides, articles, videos, and events by topic.

Explore

All topics Experts Guides Articles Videos

Platform

About SelfGrowth Websites Newsletters Events Become an Official Guide Contact

Compliance

Legal

Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions Cookie Policy

Your choices

Privacy Requests

Help improve SelfGrowth

Accounts

Personal account Create Professional Account Become a Contributor

SelfGrowth helps readers explore personal growth topics with clear paths into guides, experts, and related resources.

Home/
Experts/
Dr. Dennis Neder/
Articles

Articles by Dr. Dennis Neder

Browse published articles attributed to Dr. Dennis Neder, with full-archive search.

articles: 186

Explore

TopicsBrowse every topic ExpertsFind people ArticlesRead guidance WebsitesOpen resources EventsSee sessions VideosWatch clips

⌕

SortRecommended Most viewed Most recent Highest rated Alphabetical

Showing 1–50

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Should Women Approach Men?

Dear Dr. Neder: I have conflicting thoughts about whether or not it is okay for a female to initiate the conversation with the male. Many people that I know and even those on this board swear by the fact that it is the wrong thing to do. They say it will scare the man off or make him less interested or he'll think I'm easy or desperate. I have read your responses on this topic and I know you support the woman approaching the man.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,321 views★ 3.6 (8)

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Habitual Dating Self-Sabotage

Habitual Self-Sabotage Hi Dr. Neder! Whenever I might meet a woman and things look good, like we're talking pleasantly, (and this is right at the first or second meeting) all of a sudde I start to feel "self-conscious". I can explain exactly what I mean by this: it is the exact same feeling ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,073 views★ 3.6 (5)

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

How to Get Women to Be Attracted

Doc: I came to notice early in my life that treating women as if they are a goddess is a sure fire way of losing their interest. You can try to spend as much with them as possible, call/text them every day, give them compliments etc. but they will lose interest and think you’re weak. Recently, I have been more aloof with women trying not to calling them when they say give me a call, asking them out once and if they are "unavailable," not asking them again, trying to get them to approach me, etc. None of these attitudes seem to work.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,504 views★ 3.0 (8)

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The “Un-Ex”

I was in a long distance relationship over the internet and it ended 5 weeks ago. Basically I screwed up in silly ways and hurt her. I quit for a day, but came back and after staying away for another day she added me again during that first week (she said she'll always love me.) Over the next week or so I tried to put things back together with her. I asked if she needed time and space and she said yes because she wasn't over things. We both were/are in deeply love. I was talking about our relationship with other regulars on the site and I know she hates that.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,451 views★ 3.3 (6)

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

When She Gives Too Much

Hey Doc: I’ve read your books and read your column every week. I can’t tell you how you’ve change my life! But, I had a question for you that I haven’t seen you write about before: what do you do when your girl gives too much? She cooks for me every chance she gets, she does my laundry, she makes the bed, does the dishes and cleans up my apartment. She helps me organize my calendar (I’m an atto ey with a very active case load) and even helps me organize my files. Sometimes she brings me lunch at the office. She doesn’t ask for much in return!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,363 views★ 3.0 (5)

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Should a Woman Ask a Guy Out?

I keep reading that if a man is interested he will ask you out (which I think is true to a point). When a guy asks you out that definitely shows interest, but it is hard for me to believe that every single guy has the guts to ask out all the girls he has been interested in. My question is: ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

17,132 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

A Plethora of Problems

Doc:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,375 views★ 2.0 (5)

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

10-Steps To Constructive Arguing

Hi Doc! I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years. I am planning to marry her in 5 years. She fulfills every criterion as my soul mate except one point: sometimes when she is under pressure even the slightest thing can set her off. She goes to the extreme saying hurtful things. She ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

12,189 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Conversations for a First, Second or Third Date

Many people complain that they “hate to date”. Are you one of them? If so, it’s very likely that you’re afraid of just having to make “good” conversation. You don’t want it to come off as labored but you don’t want the awkward silences or misunderstandings and miscommunications either. If only early date conversations where easy and natural. Well, they can be, if you only know a few simple rules: Rule #1 – First dates are “interviews”

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

9,376 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Does My Boyfriend Appreciate Me?

Hello Doc! I've been dating a guy for awhile now. I haven't had many relationships, so I'm getting used to moving out of the honeymoon stage. My problem is, I know it's normal to get used to people and kind of let your faults come through as you get more comfortable with the person. I’m ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

9,020 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Some Women Get Mad When You Say "No"!

Hi Doc! Why is it that when women turn men down for sex, they expect us to be understanding and caring, and when men turn women down, they flip out?? Here's the situation: I broke up with a girl I had been with, but have been able to remain minor friends. I know you don't think that's a ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

8,925 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The Three Keys to the Cold Approach

Do you find it difficult to approach women you don’t know? Most guys do so don’t feel alone. I’m going to give you the three keys that’ll make the cold approach easy, fun and very, very profitable. Key #1 – Practice talking to everyone, everywhere If the only time you try to talk to strangers ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

8,225 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Men and “The Hunt” Explained

I get lots of letters about all sorts of dating, sex and relationship problems every day. It’s interesting that they so often fall into clearly defined categories. One of the most common comes from women that follow various prescribed paths only to find that they prevent or destroy their relationships. The majority of these paths seem to come from what I call “mass-think”. More specifically, these are ideas that; while totally incorrect, continue to be shared as “fact” mostly among women. They are actually, anything BUT fact, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

7,102 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Tired of Being Single

Dr. Neder: I am a 36 year old woman who has been single for 3 years and I'm tired of it. I feel I'm of average attractiveness, I have a good job as an accountant, I run (marathons even!), hike, travel, have lots of friends, etc. I often hear advice from my attached friends, but the advice is often conflicting. It's either, "Stop looking and you'll find the man of your dreams!" or, "It's hard work to date - get yourself out there!"

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,688 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Building Attraction in Men

“Just what do men want anyway?” Yes, I get that question a lot these days and no, I don’t just answer with “sex”. (Yes, men want sex, but that’s not really the answer to this question.) You keep hearing that “men are simple” and that’s not really true. It’s based on that however that you often believe sex is the only answer. In fact, men are actually rich, varied and pretty complicated – just like women are. Thus, answering a question like that with something as simple as “sex” is pretty sophomoric and frankly, misleading. Let me try to clear up the fog a little. Men want:

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

6,537 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

My Girlfriend is a Liar!

It started as white lies at first about small things then on to more serious things. She is not a very good liar and exposes herself with inconsistent stories and I’m just about fed up. For instance, she was talking to a few guys before me, and lies about them not calling her. There are a more ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

5,915 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The Cheating Girlfriend

Hi Doc, I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now and we're both 18. She told me last night that she had cheated on me while on holiday recently. She said a guy kissed her, while she was drunk, and she only realized after a few seconds what was happening and stopped it. I ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,835 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

My Neighbor’s Hot – And She Knows It!

Hey Doc: I've had a few girlfriends in the past and have no problems with experience. I don’t think I’m God's gift to women, but I’m not particularly ugly either. I've fallen for a neighbor girl. I'm not shy to talk to her, but she's just perfect. She's a very nice person, but thinks quite a ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,806 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Why is Having Sex Too Early Bad?

Dear Dennis: The girls that give sex up front are getting all the guys, but they don't seem to keep them for long. Guys view them as a fuck buddy type thing but not for a real relationship. The women who wait a bit to give out sex live most of their lives lonely, but end up marrying the guy at ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

4,205 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Strong Women, Submissive Women

Do you know a sexy, strong woman at your place of work? Perhaps she’s a manager or business owner. Maybe she’s a salesperson that works with your company or she represents a vendor. Do you want to know a little secret about her? She’s very likely demure and submissive in the bedroom! What’s ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,651 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Girlfriend Travels With Ex-Boyfriend

I am in a serious relationship with this girl, and we are seriously contemplating getting engaged in the future. However, we often get stuck on one issue: her ex-boyfriends. She keeps in touch with several. She has always been very honest with me about them, but it is obvious that she is very ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,428 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Will He Marry Me?

Hi Doc: I guess my situation is common but let me ask what you think any way. I am a 42 year old woman that has been dating a 50 year old man for 4 years now, we have been living together for 2 years now and we’re both divorced. When we met I was very clear what I wanted and he seemed ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,409 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Stuck Between a Friendship and Something More

Dear Doc: I've known this girl for about a year now and I like her a lot. To cut a long story short, I've lost her twice now because of my lack of confidence which stops her from seeing me as more than a friend. She knows I'm interested and we almost had something but I pushed her away because of my fear of being inexperienced with women and messing up. Now more than ever I want to put aside my fears and try to be with her but I get stuck. I know the way she sees me changes a lot.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,397 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

How to Get One Night Stands

Hi Dennis! I like this girl but she says she’s not ready for a serious relationship right now and wants to be by herself for a while. I’m respecting that and just being her friend right now. I want to really enjoy my youth as much as I can and I don’t want anything serious with anyone but her ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,192 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

How to Handle the Silent Treatment

Let’s say that you’ve dated a girl a few times and all of a sudden, she stops picking up the phone or returning your calls when she was very responsive before. What do you do? First, you stop pouting and sitting by the phone trying to will her to call by sending your aura through the telephone ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

3,039 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Avoiding Dating Games

Hi Dr. Neder: My problem is that I don’t want to play the dating game and I don’t know how to avoid it. I’m not interested in the type of relationship that’s a sort of fragile peace treaty after a war of conquest. When I consider what’s involved in the dating ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,929 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

10 Unethical Ways to Date More

You’re a nice guy or nice girl. You have morals and ethics. You want to do everything above-board and you play by the rules. The problem is, you’re getting nowhere with your dating/sex/relationship life! You look around you and see guys and girls that seem to be bending (or breaking) the rules and wonder if you could do that. Then, your own sense of justice kicks in and you go right back to being lonely and hoping that someone, somewhere will find you, see what you have to offer (without all the game-playing) and will fall in love with you.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,849 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

How To Buy A Date From A Co-Worker

Dear Doc: I like this girl at work. Our work is not related but we work in the same office. She is 12 years younger than me and I hold a senior position. Knowing all the stuff about sexual harassment all I did for the last 7-8 months was just look at her. She would look back and we would just ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,200 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Why Do Women Love Men?

Hey Doc, I have a question: why are women attracted to men (and not to each other)? I know what attracts me to women, women are beautiful and soft but I wonder what’s in women's brains that make them see men as more attractive than women? I can’t imagine my self kissing another man but why ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,196 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The Rules of Fidelity

Doctor Neder: I am in a serious relationship of almost a year. We have one major problem that continues to come up. When we were first dating, we'd been out maybe a dozen times and slept together maybe 6 times, had no conversations about being exclusive and at a party I was intimate with ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,124 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Which Guys Are “Marriage Material”?

Dr. Dennis: What are some signs that a man is "marriage material" and that a woman should definitely consider pursuing him seriously?nn=================== Hello! One of the best signs is to check the ring finger of his left hand (at least here in the States); if there's a wedding band there, ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,086 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

She's No Longer Interested?

Hey Doc! There’s a girl that I’ve been interested in and we do the whole flirting thing all the time and some of it gets a little physical. I finally worked up the courage to ask her out and when I did she said that she liked me when she first met me but she doesn’t ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

2,085 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Keeping Him Satisfied and Interested

Dear Dr. Neder: I just recently became involved with a fellow six years my senior. He is everything I have ever dreamt of; there is just one problem….Me! I have always avoided the relationship scene because, frankly, I have no idea how to handle a relationship. I didn’t actually date until I was 18 and didn’t have intercourse until my third semester of college. I was sheltered most of my life so school and family was all I really knew. He and I met online and decided to become “partners” for a while.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,993 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

How Much is Sex “Worth”?

Dear Dr. Neder: I’m 23 years old and I met this guy (25) about 6 months ago and we really hit it off. He’s absolutely perfect! We got along great and started dating and things turned physical pretty quickly. I’ve decided to wait until I’m married before I’ll have sex but we made out and ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,971 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

How to Date – Back to Basics

Hey Dr. Dennis – Hi and thank you for your help! I am single and I have been for 2 years. I’m a 30-year old woman with 2 part-time kids. I am attractive (though somewhat overweight), intelligent and I like to think I'm good company.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,903 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Nice Girl Finishes Last

Dear Dr. Dennis: I’m hearing a lot about “nice guys” who consider traveling to other countries to meet foreign woman because they feel unappreciated by American women who tend to be more fascinated by “bad boys”, wealthy guys, etc.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,843 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Help! My World is Crumbling!

Doc: I met a girl that has been hurt by a lot of guys in her past and I asked her out but I got turned down because she said she wanted to face her studies squarely. She came back home on Christmas break and I asked her again and we were so close to getting together, but then, she found out I ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,831 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The Six “R’s” for Getting Your Ex Back

Even a broken watch is right twice a day, and yes, many people DO get their ex's back. The real question you should be asking however is "should you?" Nature plays this glorious trick on each of us. When we break up with someone, we're angry and hurt, we feel loss and helplessness. We have a flood of negative emotions. However, over time, we forget all of that pain and only remember the good, happy times. This is the most dangerous thing there is in rekindling any relationship!

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,831 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

On Being a Man

Hey Doc! I just want to say thanks for helping to transform me into a better man tha I was! Growing up, I had a dad that was often not available due to work. He and my mother would frequently get into fights with him screaming and yelling (he never hit my mother however) but my limited time with my dad up until high school feminized me a bit. I always got to hear moms side of the story, and started looking at everything from her point of view – highly feminized.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,800 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

What You Bring to the Table

During the very first or second date with a new woman, I like to ask a simple question: “What do you bring to the table?” I love that question! I also love hearing it from someone I just met. Some people take offense to it assuming I should “just know” and “how dare I not know!” That’s ridiculous as you’ll soon learn. The problem comes down to a fundamental issue in dating held over from when your grandparents started dating. Let me explain: Dating in the Time of Polio and Smallpox

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,794 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Maybe I Can Just Bore Her Into Liking Me?

Hey Doc! First off, I'm 21 and I stay near a pretty small town that’s big enough for a WalMart but the only "mall" in town has maybe 8 stores in it. Yeah, it’s THAT small. I got a girl's number a while back. We've only had maybe two real conversations during the last semester of college: one in person, and the other where we found out we have a lot of the same friends. Even with these few interactions, when I asked for her number over Facebook, she gave it to me.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,749 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Going Too Fast, Going Too Slow

Dear Dr. Neder, What's a good way to enter into a sexual relationship so that you don't go too fast or too slow? Sometimes if the guy goes too fast it can be really threatening to the woman (unless she likes it of course.) Hello! This is an excellent question! The key is to not try to ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,740 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Attraction and Love Formulas

I’ve been promoting a new concept on my show that has been very successful in explaining how attraction and love work. I call these them (collectively) “The Formula”. Is there really a “formula” for attraction and love? Yes, there is. I discovered them when I was working on what sorts of ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,737 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Men Won’t Approach Me!

Dear Dr. Neder: I am an African female who has very short hair and for these reasons, I feel that men are intimidated by me. I am 5'0 feet tall and very petite with a voluptuous body. Aside from my looks however, my speaking abilities are very polished and I also major in Math and Computer ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,729 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Find What Makes You Happy

Hi I recently came across your article on “sabotaging relationships” through an Internet search and I really found it helpful. I’m writing to you because of my current situation. I am 31 years old and have grown up in a very religious community. Everything is judged superficially; family, ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,709 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Giving it the Old College Try

I'm a 19 year old guy studying at college in the UK and there is a girl who I've seen around, mainly in the library. I would like to approach her but have no clue what to say and I'm afraid she might laugh at me for trying to speak to her. I have no confidence and I'm afraid the girl has noticed my interest because she's caught me looking a few times. How do I approach her and what do I say? ====================== Hello! First of all, this girl isn't going to laugh at you for talking to her. That's just your own fears getting in the way.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,695 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Relationship Death by Honesty

Your mother told you “always tell the truth”. When you testify in court, you are sworn to tell only the truth. Your partner expects total and complete honesty. Here’s the problem: you’re a liar. I know this without even knowing you. The fact, hard and cold as it may be, is that we are all liars. Everyone (and I do mean everyone!) lies. You do. I do. Your significant other does. Your parents do. Your politicians do. Your pastor does and even (according to recent studies) your pets do! On the flip side however, nobody wants to believe that they are liars themselves.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,685 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

Confused About Playing “Hard to Get”

Hi Doc! A few days ago I asked you about playing hard to get and you told me to read your article on your website "Dumb Games, and the Girls That Play Them". In it you said it’s a terrible idea, but I have experienced that when we get things easily we lose interest. That’s a fact right? So what is your opinion on this? Oh, and how do I keep men’s interest if I don’t play hard to get? Thanks! =================== Hello! No, it's not a fact. It's a nice sound-bite, but nothing more.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,663 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The Harsh Reality - She's a Prostitute!

Dr Neder, I read on a website that you try to answer your email and I'm begging for some of your expert advice please. I am in serous need of some help because a girl I had really strong feelings for and with whom I've had a very close relationship and I have just had a crisis. About 1 1/2 ...

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,594 views

By Dr. Dennis NederRecently published1 topic

The Deserving Dame

Hello Dr. Dennis, Where can I find a financially stable guy that is willing to commit? I live in New York and I'm 28 years old. My love life completely stinks. I keep getting my heart broken. I've always dated guys who were either commitment-phobic, game players, liars or weren't well established. It really upsets me because I feel like nobody really cared about me. Thanks for your help. Hello! There was a woman who used to give a seminar on, "How to Marry a Millionaire". As you might imagine, it's a very popular seminar.

Primary topic: Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

1,527 views

Page 1Next page

Back to top ↑