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Articles by Janet Pfeiffer

Browse published articles attributed to Janet Pfeiffer, with full-archive search.

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By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Ten Ways to Get Along With Family Members You Don't Like

We all have them: the obnoxious siblings, the drama queen mother, the trouble-maker cousin, the gossip monger, know-it-alls, rude, selfish, and even mean-spirited family members. We try to avoid them yet fate often intervenes and brings us face-to-face with our nemesis. We dread family gatherings and holidays are preceded by weeks of anxiety and fabricated excuses for absenteeism. "I like my friends much better. You can choose them and if they get on your nerves you just cancel your subscription. I don't have to put up with their nonsense. But you're stuck with relatives forever!"

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

11,851 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

How to Approach and Assist an Angry Person

We all encounter angry people in every walk of life. Some will confront them, others avoid them like the plague. There are times when either approach is acceptable. I do not like drama. However, I am conce ed about others when they appear upset. And I am very knowledgeable as to how to help them. After all, I've been doing this professionally for twenty years.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,696 views4.7/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

I'm Just Too Nice: The Truth About Passive Behavior

People often tell me, "My problem is that I'm just too nice! That's why I get hurt a lot." But what they perceive as a case of terminal politeness, I see as an issue of passive behavior. Don't misunderstand: most of these people truly are nice. But those who are yes people, who don' t disagree for fear of upsetting the other party, the keep-the-peace-at-all-costs people are not acting out from a place of virtue. They are, in fact, dealing with issues of fear and insecurity. Do any of the following behaviors apply to you:

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

3,204 views4/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

One Key Eliminates Fighting Forever

Conflict and fighting are not synonymous. Although they very often go hand-in-hand, disagreements need not end up as arguments, fights, or physical altercations. A conflict is simply two forces in opposition: a husband and wife disagree on where to spend their vacation; you support the Republican party, your friend is a staunch Democrat; best friends listen to radically different music. Conflict can actually be a very positive force in our lives as it introduces us to new ideas, new possibilities, and the opportunity to learn and expand our world.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,260 views5/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Spiritual Solution to Anger

I've spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It's how we choose to express and use them that determines their value.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,988 views5/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

(Really Smart) Advice About Anger

One of my clients complained that her boyfriend had an annoying habit of constantly chewing gum. It drove her crazy! "Aside from that, he's perfect." she exclaimed. "But how do I get him to stop? He knows it bugs me yet he continues to do it. He says he's not doing anything wrong and then accuses me of nagging! Can you believe it? If I was doing something that bothered him, I'd stop because I love him. Why won't he do that for me?"

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,462 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Road Rage: Drive to Stay Alive

Road rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most offenses) have a higher than average number of stressed out, hostile drivers. Yet stress isn't the cause of road rage as some may believe. If it were, then anyone feeling under pressure who gets behind the wheel of a vehicle would react with dangerous maneuvers.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,708 views4.7/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Assertive Anger: Tough With a Twist

Sixteen years ago, I moved to a quiet dead-end street. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that I lived near a teenage heavy metal band! As day turned to evening, my silent haven was interrupted by the sound of innocent drums and guitars being tortured!rn.r

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,334 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

10 QUICK TIPS TO RESOLVE FAMILY FEUDS

Families can be our greatest source of joy as well as a never ending cause of stress. Comprised of a diverse blend of personalities, families are a mixture of quirky behaviors, opposing viewpoints, various needs, beliefs, and values, along with opposing methods of how members perform certain tasks. Being unskilled at even the most basic aspects of resolving conflicts, as most of us are, can result in minor differences escalating our stress levels and causing tempers to flare.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,257 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Fatal Mistakes in Conflict Resolution

Few people I know like to the process of resolving disagreements. In fact, when they hear "conflict" they automatically equate it with fighting. Yet one is not comparable to the other. Conflict is simply two forces in opposition. Fighting is defined with such words as "violent, battle, combat, hostile encounter". Conflict resolution need not be hostile at all. In fact, there are many advantages to having disagreements with others. Our differences challenge us to see things from another perspective, to open our minds to new possibilities, to learn and grow.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,226 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Only Funny in the Sunday's

A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,007 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Domestic Abuse: What Everyone Needs to Know

Domestic abuse is one of the most serious epidemics modern society faces today. With 1/3 of all women reporting incidences of violence in the home and/or in intimate relationships (this does not reflect the numbers that go unreported nor those of men being abused), no socio-economic group, nationality, gender or age is exempt from experiencing some form of cruelty in their relationships. Every day, in the US alone, three women (and one man) are murdered by their abusive partners.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,867 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Ten Tips for Dealing With Difficult People

Difficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others may find offensive, challenging or just plain problematic. It is our responsibility to pay close attention not to the other person's behavior but to our own, making sure we are not the one sporting the "Hi, my name is Ob Noxious" name tag.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,755 views4/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

No Reason

No Reasonr

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,799 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

KISSAway Anger

My guest on my radio show today, Dr. Erica Kosal, has been dealing with the devastating illness of her husband, Jim, for the past five years. Understandably, she has experienced a wide range of emotions including stress and anger. But this college professor and mother of two refused to allow those feelings to get the better of her. Instead, she relied on some age-old wisdom from her mother as well as some creative new techniques she developed for herself.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,771 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Creating a Peace Plan

While it's important to understand, express, manage, diffuse, and heal your anger, imagine howr

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,770 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

I Didn't Order That!

I admire women who return to school in midlife. Mothers, wives and business women who volunteer and care for their elderly parents, their days are already filled to capacity, their lives overflowing with responsibilities. Yet they seek out the best colleges with the most stringent requirements and toughest courses knowing that that is what it takes to succeed. They willingly forego the luxuries of life knowing the end result will surely benefit them.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,510 views3.5/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Six Surefire Ways to Offend Someone

A recent email announcement sent to my entire database promoting my latest book, The Great Truth: Shattering Life's Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life's Sole Purpose, prompted two angry responses. In both cases, the recipients took offense to my alleged claim that I have somehow miraculously uncovered a mysterious truth others are not privy to. The back cover of my book jacket makes the following statements: The purpose of life is not what we have been led to believe - to be happy, successful, pursue our passion, etc.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,737 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Say What You Mean Without Being Mean

(Excerpt from BUILT TOUGH? ) I often meet people who refer to themselves as tough. My perception, at times, is quite the opposite: I see them as mean-spirited. What exactly does it mean to be tough?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,728 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

THE NAIL IN THE FENCE

"The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath." (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, "Every time you're angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you've learned to control your anger, start removing them." Six months later, the boy had removed every nail he had driven. Triumphant, he showed the fence to his father. The father sadly pointed out, "See the holes? The fence will never be the same." I first heard this story several years ago and thought it a perfect analogy to the potential damage anger can have on another person.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,942 views4/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Let Go (of) My Ego

I have a family member who has issues with me (Go figure!). We got along well our entire lives but many years ago, “C’s” attitude towards me changed dramatically and with no explanation. All communication between us ceased (“C’s” choice, not mine) and family get-togethers became extremely uncomfortable. I discovered that C had deep rooted anger and resentment towards me for reasons that were completely without merit. C also began speaking unfavorably about me to family members and gradually damaged my relationship with some of them.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,536 views4/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Finding Joy in Your Darkest Moments

When I was fourteen, my godparents gave birth to a baby boy after twenty years of marriage. The most joyful day of their lives was shattered by the devastating news that their son had Down's Syndrome. Fifty years ago Downs was a death sentence and Robert was no exception. Three weeks later they buried their only child. I was deeply impacted by the response from my aunt, a woman of deep faith, when questioned about their loss.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,605 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Lose Your Temper For Good!

I've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find them. If you lose your job you hope to be rehired or to acquire a new job. However, not everything that you lose needs to be found, your temper being a perfect example. Some things are better left 'unfound'.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,505 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

ASSUME, ACCUSE, ASK

At some point in almost every person's life, we have made false assumptions about another or blamed an innocent party for something they were not responsible for. Needless to say, both of these behaviors can lead to hurt feelings, people being offended and outraged or an angry defensive response from the targeted party. In some cases, it can prove extremely damaging to the relationship to the extent that an estrangement may occur or the offended party may seek retaliation of some sort. Assumptions can be of a damaging, neutral or affirmative nature. Let's examine each one:

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,088 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

What To Do About Annoying People?

I'd venture to say that everyone of us has had to deal with annoying people at some point in our lives. Whether it's a family member who is in everyone's business, a coworker who continually needs your assistance, the know-it-alls who always have to be right or a friend who talks incessantly, short of removing them permanently from your life or blowing up at them in an attempt to make them see the truth about what they're doing, what can be done about annoying people? The answer is twofold and may surprise you.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,330 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Weak, Meek or Strong: a Biblical Perspective on Anger

The first verse of the Beatitudes in the Bible says, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth." Like many others, I always had difficulty with the term meek. To me, it was synonymous with being weak. And yet nothing could be farther from the truth.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,999 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

THIS HIDDEN SECRET WILL TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP

With the exception of impersonators, most people believe that they only have one voice. That voice is used to express one's feelings and needs. It can be vocalized either loudly or softly; it's tone can change from one of sarcasm to that of compassion; one's voice can be used to express happiness, anger, sadness, silliness, compliments or criticisms. We have our "baby" voice, (typically reserved for newbo s), our disciplinary voice (used for our children), our boisterous voice (most commonly found at ballgames, amusement parks or hurled at obnoxious drivers), and our multi-purpose whisper.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,212 views5/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Death Of Innocence

The recent tragedy in Newtown, CT, is one of unspeakable horror. The latest in what appears to be an alarming trend of mass murders in American communities is, in my mind, the most gruesome - due not only to the sheer numbers of lives lost but more significantly because of the tender ages of the smallest victims.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,726 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Ten Tips For Arguing Wtih An Idiot

"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People are inherently good but each of us at times acts out in an obnoxious or difficult manner. As you know, I do not make excuses or condone bad behavior but I do practice being understanding and non-judgmental of it.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,630 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Why Your Body Needs You to Forgive

I'm blessed to have parents who, early-on in life, instilled in me the importance of forgiveness. "They didn't mean what they said." "Your friend is probably just having a bad day." My mom was, and still is, one who always saw the best in people and chose compassion over anger. So it has always felt very natural for me to let go of unpleasant feelings I've had towards those who have been hurtful or offensive. Throughout my life, this practice has served me well.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,604 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Three Key Strategies For Reducing Anger

A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,472 views3.5/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Four Keys to Overcoming Anger

I facilitated an anger management support group for several years. One woman began attending shortly after our first meeting. Her name was Joan. Joan's marriage of thirty plus years was in trouble. Admitting she had a bad temper, her husband recently filed for divorce. She was devastated. "I don't want to lose him," she said, fighting back the tears. "He's such a good man and I really do love him. I need to learn how to control my anger. Can you help me?"

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,954 views2.3/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

To Fight or Not to Fight? That is the Question

Do you enjoy a good fight? I don't but I know some people who do. Regardless of who we are interacting with, differences of opinion, issues , and conflict will arise periodically. Some approach arguments with zest, others with great trepidation, and some avoid them at all costs. There are times when it is wise to circumvent the issue; other times they must be addressed head on. But is it possible to prevent a discussion from escalating into a full-blown fight? And how do you know when to proceed and when to simply walk away?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,499 views4/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The High Price Tag of Anger: What is it Really Costing You?

There's no doubt: anger takes its toll on every facet of our lives. From on the job, to our personal relationships, to our health and overall enjoyment of life, destructive anger can wreak havoc in our daily lives.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

2,263 views3/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Ten Tips on How to Argue With an Idiot

"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People are inherently good but each of us at times acts out in an obnoxious or difficult manner. As you know, I do not make excuses or condone bad behavior but I do practice being understanding and non-judgmental of it.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,676 views3/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Misdirected Anger

We've all taken our anger out on the wrong party, not to say that there is ever a right party who is deserving of our ire. It's not uncommon to be upset with one person and misdirect it at someone or something else. Your boss has been crabby all day and continually comments on every aspect of your work. You arrived home only to be confronted by your wife who mentions that you forgot to wipe the mud off your shoes before walking across her newly mopped floor. You blow up at her, then storm off into the den. Sound familiar?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

10,655 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

SWEET (?) REVENGE

If your brother said something hurtful to you, how would you respond? If your best friend betrayed you, what would you do? If your neighbor damaged your property and failed to make restitution, how would you handle it? Some seek revenge. They subscribe to the adage, "Don't get mad. Get even!" After all, "an eye for an eye" is fair, right? Even Donald Trump said that, in business, if someone cheats you cheat ‘em back. Why would one believe that revenge is an appropriate response?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,636 views2/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Sticks and Stones: Disarming Hurtful Words

A practical article connected into the broader SelfGrowth topic graph.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,621 views3/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

One Secret That Will Redefine Your Marriage

I've been assisting couples and former couples professionally for nearly thirty years. Regardless of who comes into my office, there seems to be one common thread - people are seeking to learn how to better get along with one another. Their usual approach is to inform me of everything that's wrong with their partner and the proceed to tell me exactly what that person needs to do to fix the marriage. I'll venture to say that probably 100% of those who enter a till-death-do-us-part union do so in an attempt to get their own needs fulfilled. Let me explain.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,300 views3/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Children of Divorce: The Angry Aftermath

Divorce is difficult for everyone. Even though children are resilient in many areas of life, divorce takes its toll on the youngest family members as well. While superficially they may appear to be fine, their internal struggles and turmoil are often hidden beneath an exterior of normalcy.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,702 views2/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

"WHY ME?" and TOMATOES

"I did everything I was supposed to: I worked hard, raised my family, helped others. Now I'm retiring and want to enjoy life and I'm diagnosed with cancer. It's not fair!" A tearful "Susan" sat in my office last year, steeped in anger over the injustice of her diagnosis and fluctuating between rage and deep despair. Life handed her a raw deal. Over and over she asked "Why me?" She didn't have any risk factors associated with cancer. Yet one day it appeared, uninvited, unwelcomed, unfairly intruding on her life. I didn't have the answers she was seeking.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,063 views2/5 (3)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

Ping-Pong: It's All in My Head

Goodwill and Profit were playing ping-pong in my head. My new book, The Secret Side of Anger, was just released in paperback. The original version, in audio, has been on the market since 2008. Friday's mailbox contained an order for the 4 CD set, retailing for $39.99. What the buyer didn't realize was that we're offering a pre-release special: purchase the paperback for $12.99 (a true bargain!) and receive the audio for only $16.99. That's a huge savings which she apparently was unaware of. I prepared to fill the order when suddenly I felt an internal tug of war.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,271 views2/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

"NEVER EVER ASK THIS QUESTION"

Never, ever ask this question! It is the quickest way to offend someone and turn an ordinary conversation into an argument. We've all encountered someone who is upset, distressed, angry, sad or not in a positive frame of mind. In an effort to find out what's wrong, we sometimes blurt out a rather offense query. The question (in question) is "What's your problem?" (Emphasize "your", say it with an attitude and be sure to scrunch up your face.) We've all said it or had others ask it of us. And the typical response is...? "Me? I don't have a problem!

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,119 views2/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

You Can Be Angry or You Can Be Grateful But You Can't Be Both

There is a over abundance of books, articles, and blogs written on the subject of gratitude but did you know that being grateful is actually an antidote to anger?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

5,358 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

"Who's To Blame For Your Anger?"

"Who's To Blame For Your Anger?" Have you ever noticed how angry people seem to be? They can fly off the handle for the least little thing. Insignificant events become valid excuses to lash out at someone or something. The damage they do can be irreparable. The pain they can cause others is ...

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

5,349 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

You Can't Ruin My Day

Have you ever gotten out of bed in the morning declaring that today was going to be a great day? And before your first cup of coffee, something happened that completely ruined everything? Perhaps your child woke up sick or the car wouldn't start or your boss calls you to let you know that you'll be staying late tonight to finish a very important project. The day is less than an hour old and already it's ruined. Or is it? We are quick to relinquish our happiness to the attitude or actions of another person or to the less than ideal circumstances that unexpectedly appear in our life.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

1,398 views2/5 (1)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Nail in the Fence

“The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath.” (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, “Every time you’re angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you’ve learned to control your anger, start removing them.” Six months later, the boy had removed every nail he had driven. Triumphant, he showed the fence to his father. The father sadly pointed out, “See the holes? The fence will never be the same.” I first heard this story several years ago and thought it a perfect analogy to the potential damage anger can have on another person.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

4,412 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The Only Race that Matters

As a child, I grew up aware of two distinct races: black and white. I don’t know who made this determination but that is what society taught us and we accepted it. I must have somehow lost touch with the world for a period of about two decades. When I finally reconnected I discover multiple new races had emerged: Hispanics, Asians, Latinos and others. Had I been in a time warp? Where was I when these new races were assigned? I attended school with children who came from these same diverse backgrounds but they weren’t labeled different “races”.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

917 views2/5 (2)

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

How to Always Be Right and Win an Argument Every Time

Disagreements - those annoying irritations that throw a monkey wrench into our otherwise blissful lives and disrupt any possible chances we have of experiencing serenity and joy. Augh! "Why can't people simply agree with me, even if they don't, and just allow us to coexist peacefully? But, no - regardless of how right I am there are some people who will disagree simply to aggravate me. I can never win an argument and that annoys me even more!" Sound like anyone you know?

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

4,002 views

By Janet PfeifferRecently published1 topic

The "SO - What" Method: Six Steps to Resolving Conflict

Conflict: two forces in opposition. Resolution: the process of finding a mutually satisfying solution. There's nothing threatening here yet for many they'd rather have a root canal rather than try to resolve a dispute. They either seek a quick departure or prepare themselves for an ugly battle. But conflict can be a very beneficial and productive force in any relationship if you have the proper skills and motives.

Primary topic: Anger Management

Anger Management

3,876 views

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