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Browse published articles attributed to John Steely, with full-archive search.
There are two ideas in the personal development field that appear to be contradictions; however, since both appear to be valid, this contradiction must be apparent rather than real. The lack of substance to this contradiction is found when we explore the reason behind the two ideas. The Conflict
Gaining confidence can be difficult, particularly if you are just starting after a history of not having any. If you have a list of situations where you did not accomplish what you set out to get done, or you have not gotten what you strived for, confidence can be in short supply. One way to get started is to get your confidence not from within, but from without. You can begin your journey towards self-confidence by depending on others for the first dose of belief. Gaining from the Belief of Others
Reading textbooks is different than any other type of reading. Unlike reading for pleasure (whether you read fiction or nonfiction), textbook reading is done because you have to do it. Also, textbook reading is much more detailed than pleasure reading. Unlike reading magazines or newspapers, textbook reading covers more material; articles are typically short and to the point, unlike most textbooks. And unlike reading how-to material (manuals, reports, instructions, etc.), textbook reading rarely leads to immediate action.
When someone talks to me about life coaching, they often ask me where it starts. “Where,” they say, “do you begin? After all, life is such a huge topic, how do you pick your starting point?” The starting point of a coaching program is determined by what can be called The Gap. Since gaps are defined by their edges, we start with those.
We all have goals and resolutions that we start on; the problem is persevering until the goal is reached or the resolution is achieved. We get discouraged, we get distracted, we quit, we change direction; all of these are part of life. When you are creating a plan to reach a goal or achieve a resolution, you need to take this into account. Fortunately, we have several mechanisms available to manage this aspect of planning.
One of the necessary actions for success is taking risks; the old saying “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is very true when it comes to reaching goals, to achieving success. However, not everyone is willing to risk their security, real or imagined, for a chance at being successful. In order to take that kind of risk, a person needs to have confidence in themselves and the world around them. Risk and Success
When looking at a potential course of action, most people are torn between two positions: an eage ess to do something better and a fear of failure. Sadly, most people choose to emphasize the fear of failure. This is the driving force behind insurance, behind the “CYA” maneuvers, and behind procrastination. The saying “Taking care of number one” is an expression of fear for myself over whatever is being proposed. A student who operates from a fear of failure will often times receive exactly what she is fearing.
Resolutions and goals are closely related, and while there are some differences, those differences occur more in the creation and planning phases and less when implementing either. This would indicate that the same skills and abilities that help implement goals would also help reach resolutions. Comparing Resolutions and Goals
As a teacher, I have observed students for many years. Over and over again, students are more stressed over test grades than any other grade, and this stress is caused by a lack of perspective. Tests are not the most important grade in a typical course; in fact, they are often not given the most weight. Yet tests are what cause the most stress, the most procrastination, and the most abandonment of students. Worry Over Nothing
We all want to be confident: confident in our work, confident in our thinking, confident in our relationships. We feel that we are lacking in confidence, sometimes to the point of fearfulness. We hold ourselves back, telling ourselves that we will move forward when we are more confident. But what does this really mean? What is Confidence?
John Maxwell says that when you put together a plan of action to reach a goal, to accomplish something significant, you need to focus on using your strengths, not compensating for your weaknesses. When a coach of an athletic team is planning a game strategy, he looks at each player for what they can contribute, not where that player is weak. By taking advantage of your strengths, you improve your chances of success and increase the value of your results. We All Have Strengths
I have had any number of fellow teachers come to me and say "I just did not have the time to cover the material today"; in fact, I have said that myself. It is very easy for the entire class period to slip away before essential material is covered, material the student needs to complete the homework assignment. You then have two choices: assign the homework anyway, knowing that many students will not do it, or cancel the assignment. All because you ran out of time.
Sometimes we are more successful meeting commitments to others than to ourselves. This fact is the basis of what is known as using an accountability partner. What an Accountability Partner is Not An accountability partner is not a boss. Such a person does not pay us or reward us. We pay and reward ourselves for satisfying the commitment. Nor does our partner punish us. An accountability partner does not tell us what to do.