Browse published articles attributed to Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor, with full-archive search.
How and what do you feel when a writer shares an insight or technique that creates a desired shift for you at the inner and/or outer level? Exactly! You’re reading this now, which means you have a desire to provide a similar experience for others through your unique offering: articles, e-books, and even books you may write. We life coaches feel deep motivation to assist others to self-empower.
What do you believe confidence is? Maybe you’re right, and maybe you’ll be surprised.
Self-sabotage is not about lack of willpower; so, you can stop beating yourself up about that one. What it is about may surprise you… and empower you. Self-sabotage happens when you confront the need to move out of your comfort zone to improve your life experience or make a dream or goal happen. This is one reason willpower doesn’t work. A few words about willpower…
The article title asks an important question. The one you focus on has everything to do with not only your outcome but your experience reaching it.
It happens to all of us when we desire to fix, change, or shift something: we push when we could ride. What’s that really about? Years back, the guy cutting my hair told me about a conversation he’d had with a co-worker. She had complained that her father had used the push lawnmower on their acreage when he could have used the riding mower. He told her, “That’s how you live your life.”
Surely, the mental energy you’re giving current (or old) issues is accomplishing something, right? It depends on if you’re thinking or processing. You, too, may appreciate this exchange betwee Bob Proctor and Leslie Householder when they met, before she wrote her first book that became a best-seller. He told her she was fairly balanced between right and left brain but was more of a creative type. She disagreed and informed him she was a math major, analytical, that she constantly thought about her life and everything (always in thinking mode). She admitted she was a processor.
Trees don’t try to keep their leaves when autumn arrives, nor do they resist new growth in the spring. But, that’s how we sometimes approach our lives. Life asks, insists really, that we engage a continuous shedding and new growth aspect. Maybe you’re trying to hang onto something it’s time to let go of or trying to change something not ready to shift just yet.
Do you ever feel afraid to be as you are? See if actor Patrick Stewart’s story and these comments help you think or feel differently about this. Tavis Smiley interviewed Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation). The topic of Stewart’s famed hairless dome came up, and Stewart revealed he was as bald by age nineteen as he is today; and that for years, he wore a comb-over. His defining moment came after lunch at the home of a Hungarian black belt Judo player, who was also a director, and his wife. The couple left the room—Stewart thought to make coffee.
Like any emotion, stress is an individual, personal experience. But there’s one KEY stressor we’d benefit from knowing more and doing something about.
For some writers, the word “outline” is akin to a four-letter word. It doesn’t have to be that way. Yes, there are successful authors—and I do mean best-selling authors—whose practice is to let their fingers fly and write by the seat of their pants (known as pantsers), but they are few in number.
Which is more important: the structure of your life or the foundation of who you are? One individual provided an extreme example of why this is important. A friend/coaching client asked me to help him find his footing about a work-related incident. He works in the mental health field where clients receive whatever assistance they need, as well as guidance to live as independently as possible. A co-worker is away for a while, so my friend and members of his team have each taken on several of her clients. One of these additional clients received money to make payments, but lost it.
You’re likely aware there are ghostwriters (I love the movie, The Ghost Writer, with Ewan McGregor), but are you aware there are ghost rewriters who provide services as well? Let’s look at what they can do for authors.
You can choose joy as easily as you can choose any emotion. But you won’t enjoy your life as much as you could unless you include one key ingredient. Do you enjoy what you have: your key relationships, material items, spiritual awareness and connection to Source, personal traits and characteristics? If you can’t enjoy who you are and what you have now, how will you enjoy even more? This may seem contradictory but it isn’t. It reminds me of two thought streams: “Wherever you go there you are” and “I’ll be happy when…”
Do you have a person in your life now (or did) who frequently tells you what’s flawed about you or broken? Do you believe him or her? What might be going on with them, and you? "Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs." - Pearl Strachan Hurd I want to share a personal story with you in case you’ve ever experienced something similar or are doing so now. For a time, I had a person in my life who I knew from the start was there to allow me to learn something.
Overwhelm blocks productivity, creativity, enjoyment… and even income! You can begin to improve this starting today. In my article, “What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean?”, I mentioned I’d created a mind map. Since then, I revisited my mind map and removed a few things listed there. They’re terrific ideas, but they don’t really “crank my tractor.” This is something you might keep in mind, too.
Before “What the Bleep” . . . before “The Secret” and any other similar movie since . . . there was a film that provided The Key. And, it was so subtle (yet obvious, now) I only just got it nearly two decades later. And, just when I needed it. If you’re not ...
If you ever feel overwhelmed, pause for a moment and look around you. More than likely, there’s clutter in your physical (outer) space, which means there’s clutter in your inner space. A funny thing happens when you get rid of clutter in your physical space: you see your life. You lighten up in ...
A simple action sent me back, in memory, to the first time I became aware of attaching an untrue story to an experience. See if you recognize your own predilection or habit of doing this. I needed to open a new pint of Half & Half. The container had that opening that requires you pull the flaps just right to create the V-shaped spout. I started the pull and had a flashback. I don’t recall my age, but I was old enough to get myself ready for school without adult supervision (but still quite young). I needed to open a new half-gallon of milk for my cereal.
Walking through life with resentment is like walking through ankle-deep molasses. You move, but not well, not far, and not fast. Forgiveness, resentment, resistance… let’s look at them.
Trying to be positive when that’s not how you feel is kind of like being hungry with a plate of food in front of you, but allowing yourself only a few or no bites. And then there’s the guilt, right?
You’ve completed the first draft of your novel. Now you’re supposed to follow that pesky rule that requires you do something called a revision—more than once. How can you make this easier?
Here is a partial line from a P.D. James novel: “. . . preserving always the same look of puzzled acceptance of a life which had to be endured rather than possessed.” Do you possess or endure your life (or any part of it) at this moment? Every day, each of us endures something, even if inconveniences of greater or lesser magnitude—considering some endure much more than most of us will ever have to think about or ever want to. If you find you face a challenge or situation you believe you can do nothing about, take possession of it, meaning take possession of how you relate to it.
Goals and desired outcomes seem to come in two flavors: the ones easier to achieve and the ones we struggle with. There’s a word you can apply to both that can shift the quality of your experiences and take some of the “charge” out of struggle. Goals and desired outcomes—personal and professional—are imbued with an aspect we are, hopefully, aware of but sometimes aren’t. That aspect is our Why—why we want or feel motivated or inspired about what we say we desire to experience.
If you’ve heard this advice for new writers before, it bears repeating: Read novels by other authors, especially, but not solely, in your genre. This is beneficial, but there’s something else you could or should do while you read, to help you improve your writing vocabulary.
Do your days feel ordinary? Do you feel there are too few blessings in your life? Maybe you’d like to shift this.
Do you ever say or get the response to the question about how things are going, “Same old, same old,” or something similar? What does this really mean? I woke and, still under the covers, said my statement of “Good morning. Thank you for another day.” My ego-mind followed with the thought, “More of the same.” I sat up quickly because another part of me said, “That’s impossible. Every moment is a new one. If anything is the same, it has to be you: your perceptions, thoughts, words, actions, and behaviors.” That got my attention because it rang, rather clanged loudly, of Truth.
Where do you experience most of your life? Is the majority of activity outside of you or inside your mind?
Perhaps you have certain feelings or longings that are vague, or sharp. These are callings from your soul, drawing attention to areas of you that need to be filled. At one time or another, you may feel one or more of the following:rn-Depressed or at least that you could feel happier -Desirous of more meaning in and for your life -As though there is a void inside you and you don’t know how to fill itrn-Disillusioned about life and relationshipsrn-(Your own longing here)
Lists are handy to help you stay organized. But, what if your list leads you into overwhelm instead of focus, achievement, and fulfillment? One of my newsletter readers emailed that he was not able to focus or move forward on any of his goals, and included a list of almost thirty items he’d written down for himself, and added there was more not included. He felt overwhelmed, and this left him stuck in place. I looked at the list and immediately saw why he felt this way.
All the strategies, systems, programs, books you’ve invested in that haven’t shifted your prosperity or life experience may have missed one key point. You may not realize approval, rather than value-for-value, is your imprinted “currency” exchange. Expectations and limiting beliefs introduced to us in early years become invisible residents in our non-physical “bones.” They also morph—change form and function—as we grow into adults.
There’s a simple way to re-focus your time and energy to get a better start and results in a new year—or any time of year—in any area of your life. Just ask yourself the two questions offered here. Two emails I received reminded me about the principle described below. I’d already had in mind to do a similar process, but felt nudged to really “go there” using this formula. Maybe you’ve heard of the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 Rule. It maintains that around 20 percent of what you do each day creates 80 percent of your desired results . . . including fulfillment.
Are you a member of the Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth Club? What you’re about to read may inspire you to cancel your membership.
If you find you don’t like a movie, you don’t yell at the screen to change. But, is that what you do about your life? I’d decided to use the Ho’oponopono method to work on old program tapes that run in my subconscious. If you’re going to aim at a target so you can hit it consistently, you need to practice and more than just a few times.
Goals, Strategies, and Systems vs. Magnetic Visions. What thoughts are triggered when you consider this? Which one feels like a better “ride” for you? Wallace Wattles wrote in his book, The Science of Getting Rich — “Man is a thinking center, and can originate thought. All the forms that man fashions with his hands must first exist in his thought; he cannot shape a thing until he has thought that thing . . . .
A novel, and even a memoir, will have characters and dialogue. You want to make sure dialogue is easy to read, sounds natural, and does what it’s meant to. Good character development in fiction includes making characters’ voices so distinctive that readers can tell who’s talking without attributes. I’m not saying that’s required or suggested (see an example at the end), just that it’s a good ideal to keep in mind. What I mean by “voice” is what a character says and how s/he says it. How do you accomplish this, you ask? Know your characters well.
Scene setting, whether that’s for fiction or non-fiction, which includes memoir, is all-important to give readers a sense of time and place as they read. And, you want to provide setting early in each scene or segment, and as you go.
What does tighten your writing mean? What Blaise Pascal wrote gives you an idea: “The present letter is a very long one, simply because I had no leisure to make it shorter.” Though Pascal was a mathematician and physicist turned religious philosopher, his point benefits every ...
You invest in a book or program to improve something about you or your life. Do you take what it offers as far as is appropriate for you or as far as the bookshelf? Does this pattern show up in other areas of your life? We all have things in our lives we move forward on with no problem, others we drag our feet about, and those we hesitate to or never take the first step towards. It’s beneficial not to judge our process, but assess it and our outcomes often; it is imperative we participate in it willingly. I spoke with a man who doesn’t like his job (six-figure income) or his life.
Many individuals don’t go after their dream because they don’t think they can, should, it’s too small, or “don’t know” what it is. Are any of these holding you back? Two inspirational videos were emailed to me: one about a dog named Ricochet and one about Rudy Ruettiger, for whom the popular movie Rudy is about. The links are available on the Resources page of my Website, and that link is in my bio.
You’ve probably read or heard that you should have your manuscript edited. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?
Let’s start with what is for some writers akin to a four-letter word: Outline. Yes, there are successful authors—and I do mean best-selling authors—whose practice is to let their fingers fly and write by the seat of their pants (known as pantsers), but they are few in number. These authors may seem like they’re winging it. They aren’t. They have years (or decades) of practice built upon a foundation of knowledge about technical and creative principles of the writing craft.
Do you wake every day, move through your day, and go to bed with problems on your mind? Maybe you’d like to do something about that right now. What can you do that’s quick? Reframe the problem or your perceptions about it to make a difference, even if just a small shift at first. I listened to an interview with Marcia Wieder and she said something like, “Life is not meant to be just about addressing problems.” How often you might feel that your days are all about problems! Maybe thinking that way has become a habit.
Do you ever wonder if you’re on the right road of your life? If this is or has been your experience, how did you manage yourself? A friend and I took a road trip using her GPS to get us from New York City to Louisiana. We wanted to beat the anticipated July Fourth traffic, so left Thursday evening and drove until we stopped for the night.
I once wrote that beliefs change, Truths never do. But how can we know which is which; and, why should we conce ourselves with the difference?
There’s a lot involved in becoming a self-published or traditionally published author, but there’s nothing like seeing your efforts in a paperback or hardback copy you hold in your hands. Your dream becomes your reality, and it’s a feeling of accomplishment you don’t soon forget. But it’s also a process that involves many steps, as well as costs that new writers need to be aware of.
Do you ever feel inauthentic, like you wear a mask over what you believe you know, or fear, about who you really are? The trinity can help you follow the path to your authentic-self destination. I read Flip the S.W.I.T.C.H. (How to Turn On and Turn Up Your Mindset) by PJ McClure, The Mindset Maven, which he gives away on his website. I don’t want to spoil your experience of reading PJ’s brilliant book by recounting his content, nor is this a review. But, he did get me thinking about what I consider the trinity of self-realization and authenticity: Attitude, Mindset, and Personal Truth.
I learned about a great bumper sticker: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” The same day I saw the bumper sticker phrase, I got an email from a friend telling me about how life is not working and the reasons why. I didn’t find one “can” in there or “I intend.” ...
All fiction writers have much to pay attention to in order to create a reader-worthy novel. Something significant new fiction writers sometimes forget to pay attention to are the details.
There is a lot to keep in mind when you write a novel, memoir, or other non-fiction book. Enthusiasm is great to have and necessary for getting that first draft and subsequent revisions done. But here are some common issues I frequently see in manuscripts from clients. Are any of them ones you need to watch for? Let’s look at some technical matters.
Could a lesson from Super Nanny apply to you and your personal and professional life? If you feel stressed and overwhelmed… yeah. The parents Super Nanny Jo Frost went to help were well-meaning—they wanted to give their children the best head start in life. Unfortunately, this meant not only school and homework hours for each child, but LOTS of additional activities to help them be well rounded individuals, as well. Super Nanny pointed out two things:r