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Browse published articles attributed to Laurie Dupar, with full-archive search.
Time is a finite resource. As much as we would like to solve the problem of "not enough time" by adding another hour or two to the day, it is not possible. We are always limited by this fixed, yet elusive commodity which is why it can be so frustrating when we feel robbed of the time we need.
When you’re living with ADHD (in yourself or a loved one), every day can feel like a struggle. And when you find something that works to make everyday life run just a little bit smoother, that one tip can be a lifesaver! And if that tip was shared with you by someone else, you feel ete ally grateful for their time and generosity. Over the next two blog posts, I’m going to talk about 3 ways you can pay it forward, and bring a little bit of happiness to the lives of others with ADHD.
It’s an undeniable fact - most New Year’s resolutions fail. Not because we don’t want to improve our situation or have a lack of motivation – we do! The truth is, most of us don’t take the time to really create goals that will work for us. When January 1st rolls around, there’s tremendous pressure to outline goals and resolutions for the next 365 days. Many of us are exhausted from the holiday celebrations and we jump into kneejerk promises- lose weight, focus more, etc. We don’t take the time to really assess where we hurt or dream the most.
This month I wanted to share some experiences about conferences! I love conferences and look forward to the opportunities to travel around the country to enjoy some time with other ADHD coaches and entrepreneurs, increase awareness of ADHD challenges, and finally meet some of my long distance clients face-to-face. It’s sort of like the social season of 19th century London, when the movers and shakers gather together in the city for debutante balls, elaborate dinners and spectacular galas. They can be both exhilarating and exhausting.
Paul made an appointment with me and arrived with a concern: “My wife keeps telling me I have ADHD because I am always misplacing things, forgetting what she says, and running late - even to work. But I have never been hyperactive, so can she still be right?” A week later, I met Jennifer upset with what her doctor had told her. “He said I have ADHD, but I know I don’t! I am very low energy, and my biggest problem is procrastination. I have ADD, not ADHD.”
Having ADHD can be frustrating. Merely struggling with compensating for the challenges so they don’t interfere with daily functioning and learning new ways to do things can be taxing. There is a constant internal battle of symptom and strategy waging inside yourself when you are coping with ADHD. In fact, a lot about ADHD is exhausting, however, putting up with or hearing from people who misunderstand or have misconceptions about ADHD has to top the list. Recently I was on a social chat forum online when the question was asked:
Mom, can I have the keys to go meet Cheryl at the mall?” “Dad, I just need the car for about an hour so I can take my friends to get some ice-cream.” “Mom, it’s so hot out! Can I just drive to the pool?” Not only do adults often drive more in the summer, particularly on highways while on vacation, but teens who are no longer confined to the school setting often drive more as well. If you are an adult with ADHD or have a teen diagnosed with ADD, extra caution may be needed.
Have you ever sat in front of the computer screen or pad of paper, wishing the words to magically come forth from your fingertips so you could finally meet your deadline? Do you hope that you won’t have to go through the chaos and stress of it being late or not completed at all? Yet no matter how long you sit there, or stare out the window, or surf the internet or hit your head on the desk…nothing happens. It’s not that you aren’t motivated or that it’s not important to you, but literally it’s like you have no idea of where to start or what words to use…you’re blank.
Ahh Valentine’s Day. A whole day traditionally devoted to celebrating love. And as it is quickly approaching, my thoughts turn to relationships, all sorts of different ADHD relationships, and how ADHD can be a test for even the strongest connections. When I work with adults, often the focus of our coaching sessions turns to a request for the best ways to handle conflicts with partners. I often hear these conce s: “I'm tired of always being late. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get there on time. I feel awful and he gets so disappointed and angry with me.”
It’s that time of the year again…the 90 plus days that are the bane of existence for most adults with ADHD. Yes, I’m talking about tax season - when all of our best intentions from the year before can either feel like our saving grace or plunge us into weeks of despair. For whatever reason, taxes seem to combine all of the struggles of ADHD into one fell swoop. Last year, I shared the common experience of “a week with adult ADHD” to show how even the best of intentions can lead to chaos, putting out fires, procrastination and barely making deadlines.
“Medication levels the neurobiological playing field.”rn~ Biederman, J., & Spencer, T. (2002) After receiving a diagnosis of ADHD, the most commonly asked questions people have are around ADHD medications. Despite the fact that we have been using the same psycho stimulants to treat ADHD for over 60 years, and have studied them over and over again for effectiveness, short term and long term side effects and contraindications, doubt remains.
It’s summertime! Time for roadtrips and school vacation – which means more driving for teens and adults with ADHD. The symptoms of ADHD – especially the combination of impulsivity, distractibility, and inattention – lend themselves to greater risk of accidents, tickets and errors in driving (view our blog on ADHD and Driving – Risks and Strategies). So before you pack up the car or hand your keys over to your teenager, check the tips below to improve the safety for drivers with ADHD:
For people with ADHD, a familiar strategy to get things done is to be very clear about their goals, break them down into smaller pieces, and complete those smaller pieces in order to carry out the goal. Weekly we plan for what needs to be accomplished. Daily we check and check off our to do lists for what we accomplish and breathe a sigh of relief when we can look back and see that indeed we have moved forward and made progress. Completing these steps helps create the structure and organization that minimizes the common challenges of disorganization, distraction, procrastination, etc.
Did you know that the answer to your productivity depends on the first 15 minutes of your day? Physically we know having breakfast in the morning is important to getting the right fuel to sustain our energy and metabolism throughout the day. What we may not realize is that fueling our brain with what it needs to sustain focus and productivity is equally as important.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." ~ Thomas Alva Edison
ADHD affects conservatively about 5-8% of the world’s population. With the world’s population being around 7 billion…that’s a lot of people struggling with inattention, impulsivity or distractibility! Since math has never been my best academic subject, comprehending such a number has always been a bit hard for me. I guess it means that if I’m sitting in a room of 30 people, at least two or three of those people have a creative, overly active, easily distractible brain just like mine.
Bullying has become one of the most prominent social issues of our time. Bullying someone with ADHD seems to be even more widespread due to their still developing social skills and increased possibility they will impulsivity react. A bully, by definition, is a person who is habitually cruel or overbearing in the attempt to intimidate someone else and try to force him or her to do what they want.
One of the most effective management strategies for minimizing the challenges and symptoms of ADHD is medication. This might not be the most popular statement I have ever made, but research over and over again has shown that ADHD medications can “level the playing field” for adults with ADHD. Medications can be effective in helping adults with ADHD increase their focus on less interesting tasks, reduce impulsivity of actions and words and calm inner restlessness.
One of my passions is coaching people with ADHD who know they want to experience more satisfaction and success in their lives, but are unsure as to what actions will best support this. I love being able to help them discover new ways of managing their ADHD and creating new strategies that maximize their strengths and minimize their challenges. Through the years I have discovered that a large number of entrepreneurs struggle with ADHD which creates a unique challenge.
The impact on siblings of children with ADHD is not often talked about, yet it is an important discussion to have in order to create healthy and functioning families. Studies show that siblings of children with ADHD experience the same disruption, chaos, unpredictability and exhaustion as their parents. At times, they may even feel victimized, unprotected and powerless, particularly when faced with expectations to “take care” of their siblings. A healthy family considers everyone’s needs.
People with ADHD are often eager to explore all the possibilities of better managing their ADHD challenges. Even though studies show that medication is up to 70-80% effective in reducing the core symptoms of ADHD (inattention, impulsivity and distractibility), there is no “magic pill” that alleviates all the struggles or cures ADHD. The impact of ADHD is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and most ADHD medications wear off within 4-12 hours. That leaves many hours in the day that often require alte ative ways of coping with and managing ADHD symptoms.
Incredible as it sounds, I still am amazed at how often I hear people say “I don’t believe in ADHD.” You probably have heard it too. And if you are like me, the moment those words come out of their mouth, every hair raises on the back of your neck, the fire starts to chu in the pit of your stomach and your mind feels like it is going to explode. No matter how many times it happens, no matter how many times I hear the words “I don’t believe in ADHD” I am dumbfounded as to how it is even possible to live on this planet and doubt the reality of ADHD.
Summer movie blockbusters are upon us and local theaters are showcasing another season of superhero action flicks. Raising two sons, I have watched my share of superhero movies - from Star Wars to Spiderman - and confess that I know quite a bit about superheroes – the struggles that led them to use their talents and gifts to fight for good and prevent evil. I am intrigued by these stories and characters because when you look closer, it seems that beneath the cape or the mask, these remarkable heroes are really ADHD adults in disguise.
“Starting your own business is like riding a roller coaster. There are highs and lows and every turn you take is another twist. The lows are really low, but the highs can be really high. You have to be strong, keep your stomach tight, and ride along with the roller coaster that you started.” ~ Lindsay Manseau
ADHD runs in families. It is a genetic disorder and a family affair. If you are an adult with ADHD, it is highly likely that another relative of yours will have ADHD. For many adults this other someone is a grandchild. With the increased awareness and visibility of ADHD, the number of grandparents who are conce ed about their grandchild with possible ADHD is becoming more and more common. Often these grandparents did not have the resources or access to information about ADHD when their own child was young.
Do you hover over your spouse while they’re doing housework or completing other important tasks around the house? Do you take more than your share of responsibility for things in your ADHD relationship? Do you find it is just easier to get things done if you micro-manage your partner’s schedule or better yet, do it yourself? Have you tried nagging, pleading even anger to try and motivate your partner to get things done. If so, you may be a helicopter partner!
“The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.” Author unknow Each year, Valentine’s Day seems to draw attention to the notion that love is indeed a mystery. For some, it is a day looked forward to eagerly as they await their chance to acknowledge or be acknowledged by those they love. However, for many people with ADHD, their own inner struggle with poor self-worth, lack of self-acceptance and low self-esteem, limits their full appreciation of the abundant love from those around them and for themselves.
I think my dentist is on to me. Over the past year I have noticed an increase in their efforts to remind me of my appointments. In the good old days I would get a postcard two weeks before the appointment reminding me of the day and time. I really appreciated this as most of my dentist appointments were made six months out when I actually had no idea of what I would be doing at that time. Next came the reminder phone calls about two days before. More recently this has progressed to also include several email messages and a text that asks me to hit reply to confirm I will be there.
It’s been three centuries and a decision still has not been reached! Being part of the ADHD tribe we know that making decisions can be challenging, however taking over three hundred years to decide an answer makes our prioritization nature-or-nurturechallenges look pretty minor in comparison. The ongoing debate I’m referring to?
My favorite radio stations are playing carols, greeting cards are arriving in my mailbox and more and more houses are twinkling as I drive home at night. It’s official – the holidays are here. I’ve been thinking about the holidays and how to write a blog about best tips to survive and enjoy them if you or a loved one has ADHD. Then I started reminiscing about past seasons with my children and decided to go a different route. To celebrate the joys that ADHD can bring this time of year:
Summertime is just around the corner, and Lynn is wondering what to do about her son’s ADHD meds. “He really needs them for school, and the medication has calmed him down a lot, but some people have told me they take their kids off medication in the summer. I‘m not sure what to do!”
Which is more important to help manage your symptoms of ADD…exercise, diet or sleep? Ideally we are fueling our bodies with nutritious food, moving our bodies with regular exercise and getting the consistent sleep we need to feel rested, alert and focused to decrease our symptoms of ADD. But reality is…we are missing at least one, if not all of these essential management strategies. If you could focus on one key strategy to make the biggest difference in experiencing relief of your symptoms of ADD, which would it be?
Recently I’ve noticed that being “happy” or striving for “happiness” is a major topic of many conversations. We seem to live in a world where we are inundated by information about being happy. Pursuing it could literally be a full time job! Being someone who has struggled with depression, it has made me wonder what would happen if we were happy all the time, whether unhappiness has a purpose, and if happiness is really the point. So what would happen if we were happy all the time?
Ahhh…the comfort zone. That comfy familiar place where we feel safe. Here we can kick back, relax and pat ourselves on the back. Livin’ seems easy…but there is an underlying restlessness as if something is missing. Is this the comfort zone or…are we “zoning out”?
“I think I have ADHD,” a client told me. “I seem to have all the symptoms! But, is there a test? How can I know for sure?”
When your child is a college bound senior, you want him to be prepared so when he enters college, he is part of the 50% that eventually graduates with a degree. You’ve spent years helping him with study skills, taught him right from wrong, and worked tirelessly to mold him into a capable, academic young adult. They are just about at the finish line…preparing to graduate from high school and go off to college…your job is just about done!
Just as there are many different ways that ADHD shows up in our lives, there are also many different ways to manage and succeed with ADHD. What works for someone else may not be the best strategy for you…or is it? Today’s article contains an overview of ten unique approaches to effective ADHD management, or ways you can succeed with ADHD, followed by an invitation to join me in a no-cost ADHD telesummit. There will be presentations from some of the top ADHD experts and professionals from our community, who will teach you more about each technique and how to make it work for you.
It’s been a few weeks since the Succeed with ADHD Telesummit and my mind has finally quieted. All those tips and strategies, plus the energy and excitement of the listeners and speakers, had my brain fired up. I wanted to implement everything at once and make changes in my life right away! All those great ideas buzzing in my head, all the ‘I have to do that’, created such noise that I didn’t know where to start.
Daily, I take my vitami B’s, vitami C, but vitami D?
Unfortunately, many people with ADHD or ADD are incorrectly thought to be unmotivated or to somehow lack the “right stuff” in order to enjoy a successful, satisfying and purposeful life. This misperception baffles me as it is so far from the truth for most persons I know who live with the challenges of ADHD.
- Have you ever had to go a day or more without your prescription medication? - Do you know the physical discomfort and anxiousness of waiting to get the medication reordered? - Have you spent hours on the phone with the doctor’s office, insurance company or pharmacy waiting for your ADHD medications to be filled? If so, you, like me, have been trapped in the medication maze.
Here at Coaching for ADHD I love getting emails from you! Especially when you ask questions and want more understanding or clarification about something ADHD related. Recently I received an email from a father asking a question about his son’s behavior. He wanted to know if it was “normal” for someone with ADHD to be able to focus on some things and not be able to focus on other things. Great question, right? Isn’t ADHD an attention deficit issue? How can an ADHD child spend hours building towers on Minecraft, but can only attend to drawing a picture for five minutes?
Did you know that the answer to your productivity depends on the first 15 minutes of your day?
The past couple of months have been doozies for me.
A client of mine recently said to me “I have to work on my time management, but I never get to it!” Does this sound familiar? Problems with time management seem to lie at the heart of the difficulties faced by many adults with ADHD and it is perhaps one of the least appreciated of the challenges many experience. Challenges with time for people with ADHD can include everything from not being able to accurately judge or estimate how long something will take to complete, to a lack of feeling of time passing, to having difficulty remembering the months of the year in order.
Life with ADHD is a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week-adventure!! If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with ADHD, then you know how challenging it can be at times. Unfortunately, most of our focus is on the “negative aspects and problems” of ADHD and rarely are the strengths or positive qualities of ADHD appreciated or celebrated!!
Daily, I take my vitami B’s, vitami C, but vitami D?
“When you take a small purposeful step each day, great things can happen.” Every January I get excited to come up with goals for the New Year. I’m a good goal setter. I see it as a way to challenge myself and keep things interesting. A bit like playing a game and figuring out which hoops I need to jump through to get to the prize. Sometimes I stick to these new resolutions…too often I don’t. I always have the best intentions, but I confess I haven’t always gone past this initial phase into taking the steps needed for success.
- “ADHD medications aren’t natural.” - “I only want to use natural ways to manage my ADHD symptoms.” - “I don’t want to put anything unnatural into my body.” These are just some of the familiar comments I hear during or following one of my presentations about ADHD medications. In our world where more and more things come out of a bag or a factory, it makes sense that we are trying to balance this with as much “natural” in our lives as possible.